The Chronicle
by TheNightIsFading
Summary: Set in the Marauder's time. The lessons of life are not always learned in the easiest ways. Life is meant to be hard, painful, and tragic. People are made to suffer. Those who can find a rare moment of happiness are perhaps the most human of us all.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **_Most of my characters are original, although I'm sure you'll recognize when they aren't mine. I'm not making any money from this story, so there is no copywrite infringement going on. _

**  
A/N: **_I have written countless (19) other versions of this story, and I think I have finally settled on a way to best tell it. Please leave reviews! If you have any questions, I'll be happy to clear things up for you. Been writing about these characters since I was 10 or 11, so I know a bit about them._

** A/N2: **_The beginning of this story has a bit of a dark a theme, I think, but it will lighten up.  
_

**Jaguar Brazil**

**Prologue **

As she stood in silence on her balcony, it seemed to Nivea Cortez that the world gave out beneath her. The walls of the old castle began to crumble, and her mouth opened in shock, as her white knuckled hands gripped the stone railing. And that railing began to break off in pieces, unbeknownst to Nivea, who was standing with her back to the world, looking back into the castle.

"What's going on?" a boy asked, moving into Nivea's line of sight, standing in the doorway. As he caught sight of what was going on, he gasped, jaw dropping.

Terrified, Nivea whirled around, fighting her sudden nausea. The sea was black, writing, like a living being. The forest was howling, trees yanking themselves out of the earth by their roots, animals fleeing. The sky was the dark purple colour of a bruise, vomiting orange clouds across the landscape. The grass was the worst to behold. It was turning yellow before Nivea's eyes, like a stain on white cloth. The earth was churning, spitting out particles or dirt and rocks.

Nivea cried out in horror and shock, taking several rapid steps backwards. Then she caught sight of the railing she had been grasping, seeing how it had crumbled and broken beneath her hands. Tears flew to her eyes, and she ran toward the door, toward the boy in the doorway.

Something was wrong with the sun.

It flared up suddenly, blinding Nivea, and the boy who yelled an expletive. Nivea threw her arm over her eyes, and bent double, to keep the sun away. She thought in terror that she might be going blind. Nothing made sense. This had to be a dream.

It could have been the apocalypse, the way the earth was suddenly bathed in darkness. Nivea stood up slowly, gasping for air. Dust was floating all around her. She couldn't see, but she could taste it.

"Nivea!" the boy called out. "Are you alright?"

The shaking had stopped. She fell to her knees, sobbing.

The boy moved toward her, and the light flared back up. Nivea reached out for him, as the castle gave up its struggle against the forces of nature, and caved in. The supports failed, and he disappeared into a pile of rubble.

"No!" Nivea screamed. It was a bloodcurdling scream of anguish, of disbelief, of _how could this be happening?_ And in that scream, out fled a bit of her sanity, her reason. Everything that had been right and true was now wrong and corrupt. The ground was supposed to be stationary, the sky was supposed to be blue. The heavy rocks, material from which the castle had been built centuries before, had pressed the life out of the boy. That was wrong. No, no, that couldn't have happened. Nivea's heart stopped in a fit of panic, as the earth began to shake harder than before. She kept screaming, invoking the Goddess. The balcony tilted, and she tumbled, almost in slow motion, toward the ground. She didn't care anymore. Hell could swallow her whole. He can't be dead, he _can't_. Cycling through her head, until it became dizzying, the sinking feeling overwhelmed her, and the scream subsided, all in the space of a couple of seconds.

Impact.

**  
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	2. Prologue II

**A/N:** _In this chapter, I transitioned from telling the story in narrative to telling it in summary form. Don't worry, it will eventually return to narrative. Thanks for reading.  
_

**  
Jaguar Brazil **

**Prologue II **

He was her first thought upon waking in the St. Mungo's hospital room. He was her first thought upon waking any morning, but this time it was different, and she knew it. The scream welled up inside of her again, but she didn't release it. She couldn't. Instead, she vomited violently, which sent a nurse rushing toward her. When she was finished, she lay back, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Are you alright?" the nurse asked kindly.

Nivea opened her mouth to reply, and found it difficult to form the words _I'm fine._ "Of course not! I'm in the hospital. The whole castle collapsed." It was painful to say that it had happened. To admit that maybe it wasn't a horrible dream in which she had tumbled out of bed in her sleep and ended up with a concussion. Nivea was a practical person, and she knew when to confront the truth. She didn't cry. When she noticed that she wasn't crying, she realized also, that her eyes hurt.

"What's wrong with me?" Nivea questioned the nurse, who looked slightly uncomfortable.

"You had a bad fall," the red haired woman replied, smiling gently at her, while she busied herself adjusting the pillows behind her head.

_No, really? _Nivea struggled to sit up straighter. "I'm not too badly off. I can sit up. I can speak…"

The nurse smiled again. "Yes you can."

"How long have I been here?" She knew that something was wrong with that. She would have been crushed by the balcony's fall.

"You arrived here on Wednesday night. It is Saturday afternoon now."

"I fell on Monday…"

The nurse nodded, smiling sliding off her face slowly. She had expected a comatose girl to take care of. She didn't know the answers to Nivea Cortez' questions, and that made her vaguely uncomfortable. There seemed to be some memory loss in the girl as well. She was aware that her house had collapsed, but had not inquired as to the fate of the other people who had been there that day with her…

"I've got to make my rounds," said the nurse. "I'll send a doctor here as soon as one is available." She hurried out of the room, dimming the lights with her wand before shutting the door.

Nivea took inventory of the room she was in. It was private, of course. Four days of sleep was reasonable, she supposed. And if she had survived, wasn't it possible that everyone else had as well? She knew that was an impractical thought. She had likely been the only person not under the tons of weight carried by the roof of the castle.

There was a device that looked like a muggle telephone on the bedside table. Nivea pushed back the disgusting pale yellow blankets and sheets which covered the bed, and reached for it. Holding it to her ear, she said, "Hello?"

No one replied to her, and as she had no idea how to operate it, she set it back down, and shut her eyes. She didn't think she could walk right now, and even if she was able to, where would she go?

Everyone in her family was most likely dead. How did she feel about that? She was absolutely devastated.

Having slipped into a light sleep, Nivea was wide awake again the instant her door opened.

"Hello, Miss Cortez," the doctor said, stepping into the room, smiling at her. "How are you feeling?"

"I think I'll live," replied Nivea, sitting up. "What happened?"

He sighed heavily, and moved around her to measure her pulse and temperature. "The authorities are not releasing much information. General consensus is that it was most likely a storm of condensed magic."

Nivea shifted slightly. She hadn't heard of anything like that before. "Condensed magic?"

The doctor stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "Loose magic is attracted to other loose magic. It bonds together, becomes condensed. I don't know much about it, but when it loosens up again, it can have explosive results."

Nivea slowly nodded, then shook her head. In shock, she reached her hands up to feel her hair. It was very short now. She frowned.

Anticipating her question, the doctor said, "I had to cut it to treat a concussion. I'm extremely surprised that you are awake now. To be honest, we expected you to be in a coma for a long time."

Again, Nivea nodded. She was confused, but her thoughts were everywhere. She couldn't collect them enough to form any questions that would get her informative answers. And the questions she did have, she wasn't sure she wanted the answers to.

"Is—is everyone else okay?"

The doctor lowered his head, and ran a hand across his brow. An unmistakable bad sign.

"What are you doing! Get your hands off of me!" a voice exploded nearby. "You—ouch! You bastards, let me in!"

Suddenly the door burst open, and a flurry of black hair dashed in. "Nivea!"

Nivea shrieked, "Susan! Oh, I thought you were dead!"

The girl who entered the room threw herself at Nivea, bursting into tears. "I'm so glad you're alright! I was so worried, you have no idea."

The doctor finished his exam, and agreed to leave the room to give the two girls a chance to talk.

From Susan, Nivea was able to piece together a bit of what had happened. The wing that Nivea had been in at the time of the magical storm/earthquake had hit was the part of the Cortez castle that had been damaged the worst. The boy, William was dead. At this part of the story, Susan stopped, expecting an outburst from her friend. Nivea said nothing, and sat slumped over slightly, staring at her clenched hands. Others in the castle had been injured. Nivea's sister Iris was in critical condition, having toppled down a case of stairs. She was pregnant, and the baby was expected to have mental disabilities if it continued to live, despite the best treatment possible. The reason Nivea had not arrived at the hospital until Wednesday was because she was so buried under rubble it took longer to reach her. Apparently she had erected some sort of shield around herself as she had fallen, because she had sustained almost no physical injury, except a concussion. And that, strangely, didn't seem to have stemmed from her being hit on the head.

Neither Susan nor Nivea could have known what the doctor did. While fixing her wounded head, he had observed that the concussion seemed to come from the inside out, as though her head were exploding. He made no note of it, and didn't mention it to anyone. He could have been wrong. If so, it wasn't worth looking like a fool over, when he was able to fix it just fine anyhow.

Nivea fell asleep mid-conversation, and Susan kissed the other girl's forehead before tiptoeing out of the room.

On Monday, Nivea was released from the hospital, having made a miraculous recovery. Her older sister, Monica, picked her up, and took her to Brazil Manor, where she lived alone, now that her husband had left her. Knowing her sister well, Monica steered clear of conversation topics that would bring up William, and talked instead about her exciting new job at the Ministry of Magic, and her beautiful new home. She didn't mention her husband either. That was too painful for her. She had thought it was true love, Damon's feelings for her. Then one morning, he had vanished, leaving behind only a note. Well, she was young, and she'd deal with it. And in the divorce settlement, she'd been able to keep the house, and everything in it, as well as half the sum of Damon's bank account. Still, she was hurt, and unsure of the world. At least Damon was still alive out in the world somewhere. William wasn't. So Monica knew that she could not even come close to relating to the pain her sister was going through.

Except to visit her sister and father in the hospital, Nivea stayed in her room at Brazil Manor all the time. She didn't eat, and she had a lot of trouble sleeping. When she could sleep, it was infected by horrible nightmares. She wasn't sure why she bothered to continue to live. She had to force herself to do normal things, like shower every couple days, when she thought she might be beginning to become offensive. She lay in bed for hours, staring blankly at the ceiling. She no longer prayed.

And sometimes, in the dead of night, with the darkness concealing her, she cried. Huge, gasping sobs escaped her. Nivea came to believe that she really was going insane.

One day, two months after Monica had brought her sister to live with her, she entered the girl's bedroom to find her sitting in silence, tears coursing down her cheeks.

"Nivea!" Monica cried out in alarm, rushing to her side. "What's wrong?"

Unexpectedly, Nivea pressed herself against her sister, sobbing now. The two girls clung together for a long time, until Nivea collected herself enough to whisper, "I'm pregnant."

Monica gasped quietly, and then she too began to weep.

Eventually the girls sat down to talk about it. Not that day, because it was too hard then. They waited a week or more before Nivea brought up the subject again.

"What can I do?" she whispered at the dinner table. It was one of the few times she had conceded to eating in the dining room with her sister. "I'm only sixteen."

Monica set down her silverware, and sighed heavily. "You know—" she began. She ran her fingers through her shoulder length brown hair, and started again. "You know, there are ways to get rid of a baby…"

"No!" Nivea's head shot up, and her body convulsed violently. "No! This is the only piece of William I have. I won't kill it."

Monica nodded. She understand. She knew that her sister had loved that boy dearly. They had been inseparable for years. "Of course." She was at a loss for what to say. She herself was just twenty years old. "Adoption?"

Nivea's face took on a look of disgust. "How could I give my baby to a stranger?"

"You could keep it…" suggested Monica.

But Nivea shook her head. "I have to go back to Hogwarts in September. But pregnant at school? They hate me enough already there. And Mon, I'm not sure… I'm not sure I can handle being a mother right now. I feel like a child myself… I'm scared. Terrified. And William is… gone." She couldn't bring herself to say _dead_, not yet. "The child will be a reminder, everyday, of him. It already is. I can hardly handle it. But I don't want it to die. I don't want it to be off with some stranger, where I will never see it again."

Two months after that, Nivea went alone to St. Mungo's, in order to visit her sister, Iris.

The woman was looking very weak, sicker than usual. Her blonde hair was sweaty and limp against her pillows. She had darker circles around her eyes, as did Nivea, although Nivea's were darker, from her bouts of depression and lack of nourishment and rest.

"What are you doing to yourself?" Iris demanded in a rasping voice.

Nivea shook her head. She was dealing with things in her own way.

Iris wouldn't be put off. "You were so beautiful, Niv. You could have—" She broke into a coughing fit, and Nivea rushed to bring her water.

Proping her sister's head against her arm, Nivea helped her drink. "I'm okay. I'll be fine. You just worry about yourself, alright?"

They talked for awhile, before coming to the subject of Iris' unborn child. "They know that my child will be a girl," Iris told Nivea, smiling. "I've already named her. In case…"

"Don't say that!" Nivea exclaimed. "In case, nothing! You can't die, you can't leave me. Please!" It was the most emotion she had shown to anyone since the death of William, now months ago. While every waking thought was consumed by the realization that she would _never _see him again, she couldn't let that out. She was afraid that it would completely consume her.

Iris' eyes hardened as she stared at her little sister. They had never been close as children, because Iris was so much older than Nivea. She had thought of the younger girl as a pest. But now she could see that the little girl was growing up. And she knew that Nivea had a bright future ahead of her… She was special.

"Don't talk like that, Nivea," Iris snapped. "You don't need me around to survive. You only need yourself. Snap yourself out of this depression. Shit happens, and you deal with it."

Nivea's eyes widened and flooded with tears. "I'm trying!"

"Not hard enough. Stop pitying yourself. You don't deserve pity. Your life is so much better than most people's. So you lost your boyfriend? You're young, and I'm sure you wouldn't have stayed with him forever anyway. You should be out dating, not wasting your life away by moping." Iris' face softened, and she reached out to wipe a few tears from her sister's cheek. "Look kid, there are things in life that you can't control. William would have been a great man, and I know you loved him with all your heart. But he wouldn't want you to waste your life away. Move on, Niv. Find someone new."

"Iris," said Nivea, no longer crying. "I can't just move on." She took a deep breath.

"Of course you can… And the pain will lessen eventually."

"No, I know that," said Nivea. "I can't just move on though… I'm pregnant." The words seemed to get stuck in her throat, so it was a contorted version of them that escaped her mouth in a whisper.

Iris gasped, clasping her hands across her mouth. "Oh my God! Congratulations! I mean, that's wonderful. But you're so young. What were you thinking, young lady? Still, that's great. Oh honey, I'm so happy for you!"

She was crying tears of happiness, and Nivea submitted herself to a weak embrace. "I know I won't be a good mother."

"Of course you will."

"No. I can't get over the fact that William is dead." There, she could say it now. _Dead, gone, and never coming back._ "This child—" she patted her stomach gently, "Will be a constant reminder of him."

Iris thought for a moment. "What are you going to do? Is it too late for abortion?" Nivea nodded. "Have you considered adoption?" Nivea explained that she couldn't bear the thought of her and William's child growing up with strangers. And it was Iris who figured out a solution.


	3. Prologue III

**A/N:** _The contents of this chapter are summarized because Nivea is not meant to be the main character of the story, but I felt that some background information about her was necessary. This is the last chapter of my prolonged "prologue"._

**Jaguar Brazil**

**Prologue III**

Nivea had always been a quiet child, very confident of her abilities, high self-esteem, but very serious. She wrote a lot in her diary, and kept to herself. She was more comfortable alone than with other children. Her mother had always tried to get her to do pageantry and so on, but Nivea wasn't particularly interested in it. She adored studying magic, and had read dozens of books about it before even purchasing her first wand. Accepted into Hogwarts at age 11 (although of course, coming from one of the most well-known wizarding families in the world, her spot had been reserved since birth), she had eagerly thrown herself into her studies. Although she lived in the same room with several other girls her age in Gryffindor Tower, she didn't make friends with them. Instead, she hung around with Monica's friends, who were a bit more mature than the first years. Returning home on vacations, with no stories about her friends, Nivea was disappointing her mother more and more. Returning to Hogwarts for her second year, Nivea had studied even harder, memorizing complex spells there was no conceivable reason she would ever need to know, and scoring the highest grades in the history of the school for a student her age. She was bumped ahead a grade, into the third year. Now she was with a new group of students to get to know. This time, she thought of her mother's opinion of her, and threw herself into getting to know everyone she could. By this time, Nivea was maturing into an astonishingly beautiful teenager. She caught the eye of everyone, either with her wit and intellect, or with her appearance. She made friends that year, but only one she considered close enough to invite home over the break between years.

William was the most beautiful boy she had ever seen. He had caught her eye during a potions class, and from then on, they were best friends. Having never had a best friend, it was nearly impossible for Nivea to prevent herself from falling in love with him. He was a year older than her, which made him seem infinitely wiser than more mature than boys her age, and she looked up to him. When other girls teased Nivea out of jealousy and because that's what children do to someone who doesn't fit in, he was the only one to defend her, and to console her about it. Of course, if Monica saw anyone bullying her sister, she grew insanely angry, and had to be restrained from killing someone, but the other children learned to keep it away from Monica's eyes. And Nivea, being no snitch, kept it to herself. William soon infiltrated that careful shield she had erected to convince herself that the insults didn't hurt. And he became her only confidant.

In Nivea's fourth year (her third at the school), she became very sick, and her magic faded away to nothing. Between her fainting spells, she worked with William to keep anyone from discovering that she couldn't perform any magic at all. She made the Quidditch team as a catcher, and was happier than she ever remembered being. Until one day, she fell off her broom during a game.

When she woke up, she was sicker than ever. William stayed by her side in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing, begging her not to die, because he needed her. She fought hard; knowing that someone felt she was important was one of the best feelings in the world.

Suddenly, her magic flared up inside of her again. It was more powerful than before. She couldn't control it, and could hardly hold it. When she slept, or even relaxed a bit, it exploded out of her. She was given her own room in the castle, to keep her from hurting anyone. This further alienated her from the other children her age. Still, as long as she had William, she didn't care about anyone else.

When Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster of the school, called her to his office, and told her that her mother was thinking about withdrawing her from Hogwarts, her tentative hold on her new magic had broken, and nearly destroyed the headmaster's office.

And finally, Mrs. Cortez told Nivea why she had been having so much trouble with her magic, and why she was different from other children. In short, she told her daughter what her destiny was.

After that, Nivea knew the answer to the question what am I?

Still, she did not know who she was. She was not happy. She had been verging on depression since entering the school. Focusing on her studies became boring and redundant. She smuggled alcohol into the school after tasting it at a dorm party, and drank copious amounts of it. If it wasn't for her new lessons, teaching her to harness and use her new magic, she would have gone insane from lack of mental stimulation.

The pressure mounted up. Things got harder when she realized that she was not like everyone else. People had a reason to hate her. She tried to keep them from finding out, but of course, rumours spread. She lashed out at William, assuming he had let the word slip.

Pushing her only friend away from her left her completely alone. Monica and her friends no time for the young girl anymore. They had outgrown her. She kept going through the motions of normalcy, smiling at the world. Charming people with her smile. Her presence seemed to light up a room. But she was breaking apart. Her destiny was too big, too hard. She'd never be able to accomplish it, no matter how good she got at healing, or reading minds. And what if she wanted to do something else with her life? But she didn't. She didn't have any hopes or aspirations. Every emotion seemed to drain out of her.

And then one night, she thought, why am I bothering?

She cut her wrists deeply, so her body wouldn't heal too quickly. Then, panicking, but unable to staunch the blood flow, she had run to William's room, crying out his name. She didn't want to die.

He was able to stop her bleeding. And, as the tears poured down her face, she told him how much she dreaded waking up every morning. He leaned over, and kissed the tears off her cheeks. She had a new reason to wake up every morning.

Love was the best thing in the world, in Nivea's opinion. She hadn't truly realized how much she loved and relied on William before. But now she did, and once again, the friends were inseparable.

She tackled her new work the same way she had done with school. With a savage brutality that shocked people. She thirsted for knowledge, and everything she did gave her a bit of it. Her mother died that year, but she died happy with Nivea, knowing that her youngest daughter was being forced to do something she wasn't sure she wanted to do. At least that way she wouldn't be a failure.

Nivea's relationship with William became closer and closer, until it was almost as though they were one person. They didn't even have to speak half the time. They spent all summer together, and during school, they spent as much time as they could together, in class and outside of it. She began to sing, which she had done a bit as a child, at her mother's prodding, and excelled at it. He made her want to sing. They fell deeper and deeper in love. But their relationship wasn't physical most of the time. They kissed and held hands, but also spent long periods of time just looking into each other's eyes.

In their 6th year at school, when Nivea was 15, that changed. Hormones began to work overtime, and it was all they could do to wait until they reached an empty closet. Nivea had never been so thankful to have a private room. Still, they were emotionally and mentally close, but the physical closeness brought it to another level.

They were careful. Although Hogwarts provided no sexual education whatsoever, they were both very intelligent, and knew how to prevent conception. They stole potions ingredients from the professor, and Nivea prepared a drink to take. Neither of them wanted a child.

So, Nivea wondered, snapping out of her reverie, had gone wrong? She had left school for Easter, and William had traveled home with her, to Cortez Castle. She must have become pregnant sometime between Friday night and Monday evening. She had used her potion though. Eventually, the only thing Nivea could come up with was that maybe the Goddess had decided to grant her one last remnant of William, knowing that he would be gone soon.

But, though she was becoming more mentally stable, she still knew that she could not keep the baby. It would not get the love and attention it deserved. Nivea's work was already taxing, even though she was only sixteen. When she reached adulthood, it would only get worse. And Nivea threw herself into any task before her, forgetting everything and everyone else. Still, she knew she wouldn't be a good mother.

When Iris suggested that Monica raise Nivea's child, it made perfect sense. Monica had been unable to conceive, which was part of the reason why Damon had left her. She was family, which meant that Nivea would be able to see her child if ever she wanted to. And more than that, Nivea knew that her sister was a good and decent human being, even if she had teased her when they were younger.

Iris died in childbirth a week after the plans were made. Monica would raise Nivea's child as her own. The child would never know that Nivea was its real mother. If Nivea wanted, she could act as an aunt to the child. Iris' death threatened to send Nivea into another spiral of depression, but she pulled herself out of it. Began singing and writing in her diary again. Ate well and slept regularly. Visited the site of the old Cortez castle. Decided with Monica to keep the land, but not build anything on it.

It seemed like a very short time passed before Nivea's child was born.

Nivea had thought hard for months, before settling on the name Jaguar for the baby girl. It may have been unusual, but Nivea didn't care. Nivea herself was an unusual person.

Next door to Brazil Manor was another house, which the owners had called Pleasantville. Susan Black lived in that house, with her husband and two children. Her youngest child was named Sirius, and he was just a bit older than Jaguar. On the day of Jaguar's birth, Susan brought him over, all smiles and congratulations, as she said, "Sirius, meet Jaguar. She's your new best friend!"

Of course, Nivea wasn't in the room by then. Monica was the proud mother, having faked a pregnancy in public for months. Nivea was sick with a fever, purportedly, and couldn't have visitors.

She knew, from her feelings of bitterness, that she could not hang around long, although Monica assured it that she was no intrusion, and that she could stay as long as she wanted. She couldn't handle seeing her daughter grow up calling someone else mother.

A week after Jaguar's birth, Nivea packed up her things and left, moving into a house she had ordered specially built. It was not as large as the castle, but then, not many things were. It was immense for one person, and she was able to wallow in her unhappiness. However, she could only stand a week or two of that, before she decided to return to Hogwarts.

Because she had put so much effort into her studies, she was still ahead of the rest of her class. That June, she graduated with the rest of them, aced her NEWTS, and was granted a position in an Auror training school. At the same time, she began a new job at the Ministry of Magic, which put her at least on speaking terms with her sister, who worked in a different department of the Ministry.

Still, Nivea's mind was not occupied all twenty four hours of the day. She needed more. She was making friends at the Auror training, but William still lurked in her mind all day long. She signed a modeling contract, and did magazine ads and commercials. She made a new demo and got a record contract. Her album hit number one on the charts, and her face was everywhere. Pressure was surmounting on her shoulders again, but this time she rejoiced in it. Of course, it wasn't healthy, and she knew it. She was certain of it, every time she came home to her humongous, empty house. She should have gone to a mental health counselor; she thought of it every time she threw a raging party and felt completely alone.

Now she had a million friends, but no one knew her. She was world famous, but completely alone. No one understood her. It was her own fault, a lot of it. So she kept people at bay. She had a couple close friends, but they were nothing like William. No one would ever be. She still thought of him all the time. She needed more distractions.

She had rarely visited her daughter up till then. Although she liked the little girl well enough, she was not Jaguar's parent, and did not know anything about her. Did she love her? She had, instinctively, even before giving birth. But she was such a mess, she didn't deserve a child.

Nivea was drinking again, although she had quit as a child. She was becoming a very wild woman. She had no aim in life, except to keep herself from thinking. She'd drink herself into oblivion every night, and then work 16 hour days at three different jobs.

It was the only thing she knew how to do. Being one of the smartest people in the world, she knew that she was on a path to self-destruction. She also did not care. Her mother had been emotionally abusive; she had been neglected to the care of house elves numerous times. She wasn't close to anyone in her extended family. Her childhood had been traumatic, and everything had come to a head on that night when she was sixteen. She had blamed it all on the magical storm, which seemed to have no cause, no matter how deeply she investigated it. She wasn't even sure it had been a storm; that was just the official explanation for it. She had blamed all of her troubles on it, whatever it was, which was wrong, and futile.

Too late. This was her life, and she had to live with it.

She began to see her daughter more often, taking her to the zoo, or to Disneyland. She became close to Monica's daughter, Katrine, as well. And she was happy to see that Jaguar and Sirius were friends. She included him in all of their outings.

And so time passed, until the year Jaguar turned six. Nivea gave up drinking and threw herself into work again, rarely surfacing, and sometimes even sleeping at her office in the Ministry. She spent days straight sometimes, researching the most useless information.

Nothing her friends did could convince her to see a therapist. She was one herself, in a way. Plus, there was nothing at all wrong with her! With each year that passed, the pain dulled a bit more, and she became happier. When her daughter was six years old, it really became clear just how much Jaguar looked like Nivea. They had different eye colours, but other than that, the resemblance was uncanny.

Feeling that she was a bad influence, Nivea stayed away from her niece, except on holidays.

She stopped modeling so often, and sang more. Did a few muggle movies. Wrote a book that she never had published. Became an icon for little girls all over the world, and then went back to what her mother had called her destiny.

She began to date men. But it was just a physical thing. She couldn't get close to them emotionally. That part of her heart was broken and scarred over.

And so, time passed. Nivea reached a level of contentment with her life, and dropped out of Jaguar's almost entirely.


	4. Happy

**A/N: **_From here on, the story will be in narrative form. 20 views, yet no reviews. Let me know what you think, you guys! _

**Jaguar Brazil **

** Happy**

Jaguar's early childhood passed in a great whirl of happiness. She had a great family, and wonderful friends, and never wanted for anything that she couldn't conceivably obtain. She was confident, but humble, and never hesitated to speak her mind. Her friends were her life, from a very young age. She didn't even remember meeting her best friend, Sirius Black. He had just been a constant in her life since forever, as far as she knew. She didn't remember meeting her friend James Potter either. Although the other member of their little foursome, Remus Lupin, she vaguely remembered meeting in America, on vacation with her aunt Nivea.

Jaguar adored her aunt, although she rarely saw her as she got older. Nivea was young and cool, and always had wonderful presents for Jaguar and her sister Katrine.

Being part of two very rich and powerful magical families, the Brazils and the Cortezes, Jaguar knew what her place in the world was supposed to be. She grew up knowing that she would one day attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as her mother and aunt had, and that she would be in Gryffindor House. From what she knew of her father, he had been a student at Beauxbatons Academy. But Jaguar had never needed a father, or felt the lack of one.

Everything she needed was there for her. Her mother worked far too often, but while her mother was away, Susan Black was like a surrogate. She was always next door when needed. And Katrine was very close friends with Sirius' younger sister, so the two girls spent most of their time at Pleasantville.

Jaguar's happiness was so complete that she didn't even notice that she was happy.

One day, during the summer of the year Jaguar had turned eleven, Aunt Nivea showed up unexpectedly.

Nivea pounded her fist against the steering wheel of her car, screaming, "Get the _fuck_ outta my way!"

This was no time for a traffic jam. She really wasn't in the mood. She was enraged, actually, and had somewhere to be.

Exasperated and furious, she stomped on the gas pedal of her car, violently rear-ending the car full of teenagers in front of her. Then, not caring if anyone saw her perform magic, she apparated, taking the whole car with her.

Now she was parked in front of a two story house, in a suburban community somewhere in Britain. It was a muggle community, so she had to erase the memories of a few people gaping open-mouthed at her. She was very sloppy and uncaring about it, and one man went back to watering the sidewalk instead of his lawn.

Climbing out of her car, she donned a pair of dark, mirrored sunglasses. They were her trademark. She had started wearing sunglasses years ago, to cover red eyes and dark circles, and kept doing it to keep herself a bit of a mystery. Plus, she liked them. And no one could tell Nivea not to do something she liked. Out of the car, Nivea strode up the walk, and pounded on the front door of the house.

After thirty seconds or so, a tall, blonde girl opened the door, and peered at Nivea curiously.

"Who are you?" the girl asked, with the typical flippant manner of teenage girls.

Nivea looked past the girl, into the house. "Where is your father?"

The girl flipped her long hair back. "He's at work. Why?"

Nivea shoved the girl out of her way, and walked into the house. "Wrong answer."

"Hey!" the girl yelled, placing her hands on her hips, and looking shocked and a bit scared. "What do you think you're doing?"

Nivea ignored her, and peered around the house. It was not big, but it looked comfortable and clean enough. The walls were papered with a floral print, and from where Nivea stood, she could see a spacious living filled with slightly mismatched furniture, and an entertainment center. The kitchen was not immaculate, but it wasn't swarming with bugs either.

"Lily keeps the house well, does she?" Nivea asked sharply, turning to face the girl.

Petunia Evans' face drained of colour. She hesitated, then glanced out the door as though she was considering fleeing. "I don't know what you're talking about!" she exclaimed.

Nivea was very intuitive. She had even studied the art of reading minds. She could have been blind and seen that Petunia was lying.

"My name is Nivea Cortez," Nivea said, after glaring at the girl for several seconds.

Petunia gasped, and then squealed, and practically fell over herself demanding an autograph.

Disdainfully, Nivea walked a few feet away from her.

"Oh my God," Petunia shrieked. "Nivea Cortez, in my house! Wow, I didn't recognize you! You're so much prettier in real life!"

Yeah, yeah. Nivea had heard it all before. "Sunglasses didn't ring a bell?" Of course she wasn't prettier in real life. She was a fucking model. Her photographs were all airbrushed and manipulated. No one looks like a picture in a magazine. Nivea knew that she was beautiful, though. She just didn't care much. It had given her something to do with a few years of her life. She'd had reason to travel around the world. It had given a little extra pocket change. Although, really, her family was so insanely rich, she had never felt any need for money. She was free to do whatever she wanted.

Petunia was so excited she was practically dancing around the room.

Nivea had this effect on people sometimes. Particularly young girls. They thought she was some sort of role model. Nivea had laughed herself nearly to death over that idea, many a time.

_I am your biggest fan…_ thought Nivea, right as Petunia exclaimed, "You have no _idea_ how much I love you! I'm your biggest fan!"

Nivea chuckled coldly. "Uh huh. Lily? Lily, are you here?" she called out loudly.

Petunia looked panicked. Nivea knew why. Richard Evans, father of Iris' daughter Lily, had been abusing the girl for years. And it was due to Nivea's negligence that it had continued for so long. Because she was so completely absorbed in her own troubles, she had missed Jaguar's childhood, and hadn't realized that another of her nieces was in trouble.

A thought came to Nivea suddenly, and she turned to Petunia, as she heard a door open somewhere upstairs.

"You don't know that I'm your aunt, do you?"

"My _what!_"

"Did someone call me?" Lily Evans asked, coming to the top of the staircase, and peering down. She looked vaguely confused. "Nivea Cortez..?" she asked slowly.

Nivea looked up at the girl, and smiled gently. Really, Nivea wanted to cry, looking into the eyes of the girl who had been tormented for years because of her actions. "Yes, Lily. I'm Nivea Cortez. Your aunt."

Understandably, Lily and Petunia were shocked, and it took awhile for Nivea to calm Petunia down. Lily sat by quietly while Nivea spoke and Petunia asked questions. It didn't seem like Lily was a shy girl though. Either she had nothing at all to say, which seemed unlikely, or she didn't think she was supposed to say anything.

"Lily, look at me." And Nivea removed her sunglasses, so that she could look into Lily's brilliant green eyes. "I am taking you away from here. If you don't want to, you will never have to come to this place again. If you want me to, I will erase it from the face of the earth."

Petunia made a strange noise at that, while Lily stared back at Nivea.

"Where are you taking me?"

Nivea said, "Home."

It would be nice to have someone else around, even if just for the last month of summer. The house had been empty for far too long. Nivea used just a few rooms in one wing of it, when she was there.

"But," objected Lily, "my father…"

"Richard will be taken care of," Nivea said, with a violent sneer. "You won't have to worry about him ever again."

Instead of apparating, Nivea drove all the way back to her home. A small, decrepit farmhouse, almost vanishing into the encroaching woods. As soon as they stepped through the front door, however, the whole place turned into a splendid palace. To Lily's eyes, it was a fairytale dreamscape.

Nivea had a talent that as far as she knew, no one else in the wizarding world had. She was able to change a person's mood. Slowly, she made Lily more at ease with her, as they toured the huge house. Every room was filled with magical artifacts, and beautiful artwork. A lot of it Nivea had not even seen.

Lily was very excited about all of it, despite her hardened exterior. She wanted to let Nivea in. She didn't know how. _Alright_, Nivea decided. _We'll just take it slow. _She had messed up this little girl's life enough as it was. Now she was going to try and repair some of that damage. After all, she was a therapist, in a sense. She was trained and qualified to deal with almost anything. She could help anyone, but she couldn't resolve this guilt she felt about her own actions. How was she the same person she had been ten years ago? Now, she still thought about William from time to time. But not every single day, and she was certain she'd gone a week or two without him crossing her mind at all. But she still had terrible nightmares sometimes. There must have been something she could have done. And that was how she felt about everything. She had the most power of any witch in the world, but she hadn't been using it in the right way at all.

After showing Lily her room, Nivea sat down with her and said, "There are some rules about this house. There is only one room that has a locked door. Do not try to unlock it, under any circumstances. You are not to go into that room. If the door is unlocked by some freak accident, please respect that I don't want anyone in there. If you would like me to stay out of a room, simply shut the door, and I will knock and wait for an answer before I enter. You may lock the door of this bedroom, but in an emergency, I can, of course, unlock it. I work, a lot, but I've freed up some time, so I should be around a lot. Other than not entering rooms with the doors shut, there aren't many other rules. You can go in any room with an open door."

Lily stared at her in awe, and nodded at everything Nivea said. Her excitement was mixed with awe. A famous movie star was sitting right in front of her, telling her that she had free reign of this, this _palace_.

Nivea seemed to sympathize with that. "Lily," she said quietly, suddenly very serious. "Someday soon, we'll need to talk about things."

And Lily nodded.

That same day, as Jaguar Brazil lay in her backyard next to the pool, her sister Katrine ran outside, yelling, "Aunt Nivea is here! Aunt Nivea is here!"

Jaguar's eyes flew open, and she grinned at Sirius Black before leaping up to follow her sister around the side of the house to the front, where Nivea was just climbing out of her car.

Jag didn't know much about any sort of car, but it looked brand new and very expensive. She stood on the walkway up to her house, and glared at her aunt.

Then Nivea threw aside her sunglasses and grinned broadly. "Jaggie! How have you been?"

And Jaguar let her guard down and dashed into her aunt's arms. She opened her mouth to say something sarcastic about the frequency of Nivea's visits, but was distracted by the girl now climbing reluctantly out of the car.

"Who are you?" Jag asked, not impolitely. She was just startled. Of course, since she hadn't expected Nivea to show up out of the blue after not even writing for six months, she'd had no idea what to expect from her. Nivea was the definition of _enigma._

The girl who had stepped out of the car now moved forward, smiling gently. "I'm Lily Evans."

Jaguar just stared at her for a moment, then at Nivea. "Nivea?"

Nivea Cortez, who looked exactly like Jaguar, said, "Jaggie! Don't be rude. Lily is your cousin." She shook her head at Jaguar, as though disappointed. "Lily, these people are Jaguar, and Katrine, and Sirius." She paused and smiled at all of them. "Now. Where is my sister?"

"She's not here yet, Nivea," Katrine replied. Jaguar stood with her mouth slightly open. She hadn't known she had this cousin. Nivea hadn't any children; Lily wasn't hers. But Jaguar did recall seeing pictures of Iris, Monica and Nivea's sister, who had died a long time ago. She must have been hers.

Katrine glared at her sister, whom she thought was being very rude, and walked over to Lily.

"Hi Lily. I'm Katrine. This is my sister Jaguar. You guys look like you're the same age. Oh. That's Sirius. He's an idiot."

"Hey! At least my name doesn't sound like Katrina!" Sirius retorted, making Lily laugh, and Jag, who was used to his lame jokes, roll her eyes. Katrine shoved him, scowling.

"Hi Lily," Jag said.

"Hey," the girl said, looking at her perhaps a bit apprehensively.

Jaguar looked at her cousin, who didn't look related to her. She resembled Monica a little, though. Their eyes were the same shape, although Monica had grey eyes, as did Katrine, and Lily's were a shade of green that Jaguar had never seen on a human being before.

Sirius said, "You two look like sisters."

Both girls looked at him as if he was stupid, and Jaguar laughed.

"No we don't," said Lily. "I have blondish hair." And that was the end of it, as she and Jaguar walked down the driveway, talking. If they were going to be cousins, they might as well get to know each other.

Sirius sighed and went to pick on Katrine. He thought he would never understand girls.

Nivea went inside the now empty house, and took several deep breaths. For some reason, she was close to completely breaking down. She wanted to cry, badly. The demons inside of her were roaring. Okay, so maybe there weren't really demons inside of her, and she only really felt like there were during a bad hangover, but something inside her was wounded, broken, and coming back for more punishment.

She thrived on misery, as she had for years. Panting and shivering at the same time, she ventured into the kitchen. A house elf vanished around a corner as Nivea entered the room, and she reached into the refrigerator for a can of soda to place across her burning brow.

Through the kitchen window, Nivea saw Lily and Jaguar standing a ways off, seemingly enjoying some joke, while they nibbled on treats she guessed Jaguar must have purchased for them from the ice cream man. Closer, were Sirius and Katrine. They were like brother and sister, the way they bickered back and forth. But Nivea just knew that he would defend the little girl wholeheartedly, should the occasion ever arise where it was someone other than he who was teasing her. Sirius snatched a ribbon out of Katrine's hair, and she went ballistic, waving her arms and coming close to tears, before throwing her weight into Sirius' chest, and sending him plummeting in the pool.

Nivea cried then. She hadn't cried in awhile. Lately, she was so busy. Something strange was going on in their sheltered little wizarding world, and she was an intricate part of it. She was _always _doing something. However, when she had found out what had been going on at the Evans residence for all those years, reality had hit her hard. There was a world out there. And she couldn't always make everything just. She could punish criminals, but never completely heal the victims. She swallowed hard, wiping tears from her eyes. It was not her place to cry over Lily. She tried to convince herself that that was why she had been crying.

It was a few minutes before, distracted as she was, she became aware of the fact that Monica was standing behind her. And because Nivea had not been paying attention, she had no idea how long her sister had been there.

"Oh, Niv. What am I going to do with you?" Monica breathed, sitting down next to her. She covered her younger sister's hand with her own, and Nivea leaned over, pressing herself against Monica's shoulder.

Monica understood what was causing Nivea to be upset. As children, they had bickered and squabbled, but Monica had always let Nivea hang around her friends, because she knew that the younger girl didn't get along with other children her age, and had no real friends of her own. The one true friend Nivea had had was dead. And Monica knew her sister better than Nivea liked to believe. Monica knew that Niv would never let a person come as close to her as William had done. She was too hurt inside, and refused to deal with the pain. She had always been more comfortable hiding the pain away. She was the most selfish person Monica had ever known. She was horrible and impetuous, and didn't care a thing for any of the people who cared for her. She might not have even known that people did care about her. She was a severely damaged person. So childlike in so many ways, but very literally bearing the weight of the world.

She the definition of imperfection, and she was the definition of beauty. At that moment, looking down at Nivea's head on her shoulder, Monica felt such a rush of love, she had to blink to hold tears back.

Trying hard to keep the emotion out of her voice, Monica said, "They're happy, aren't they?"

Nivea straightened up, and smiled brightly. She looked completely happy, but something in her eyes was completely empty.

"Oh yes," she said. "And here I am, moping inside. I've done that for most of my life. Time to cast all that sadness aside."

Of course, it was the sort of declaration one makes to oneself every so often. A bit like a New Year's Resolution. You set out meaning to stick to it, and once you find that you haven't, you feel a bit guilty.

However, this time, something _burned _in Nivea's eyes, and she spoke with such conviction, though her voice was light, that it was impossible not to believe that she would be unable to do such a thing.

"That's great," Monica said, smiling. "It's about time."

Nivea opened and shut her mouth. She was so used to keeping her emotions in that it was hard to speak of them sometimes. Even when she was in Brazil Manor, the only true home she had ever had. "Monica, I was so lonely as a child. Isn't that the worst thing to admit? But honestly, I only had William. In my whole childhood. And I loved him dearly. In all the ways you can love a person. But—but I don't wish to see him again anymore. It's been so long. He would know nothing about me. I hope that he is happy somewhere, and maybe we'll meet again someday. But if we don't…" She tilted her head to one side. Jaguar did that a lot too, Monica had noticed, although the little girl never spent much time with her aunt.

"You're wrong. You didn't only have William. Susan and I were _always _there for you. We still are."

Nivea looked up, a little surprised, and with her eyes wide in the sunlight streaming through the window, she looked like a little girl again, with her whole life ahead of her. And then she giggled. It felt good, so she laughed harder. "I suppose that's true!" she finally said. "I never really thought of you as my friend. But yes, you and Susan are my best friends." She was a bit disgusted at herself. How could she possibly be so selfish and blind?

The children were coming back toward the house. Sirius had returned to Pleasantville to change his clothes, and was now walking back toward the manor, with his sisters. They reached Jaguar and Lily, and must have made their introductions, because soon they were all walking toward Brazil Manor. Katrine joined them as they walked through the door.

Brazil Manor was a huge house. Three floors above ground, and one below, and all of the floors were spacious and airy. It was comfortable though, and to the people there, it felt like something of a home. Lily noticed the way everyone was so comfortable with one another. They were like a family. They _were _a family.

Hanging back, Lily just watched as Jaguar tried to grab something from Sirius' older sister, Ari, and Ari smacked the back of Jaguar's head. They looked angry, but both girls were laughing. Danika, Sirius' younger sister, was with Katrine, sitting at the table. Neither of their legs were able to reach the floor yet, so the girls swung them to and fro, sometimes hitting each other, but never seeming to notice. And Monica and Nivea just watched all this, smiling contentedly.

Lily wondered when she would wake up from this dream. It _had _to be a dream. She had never really had a family, and here she was now, being deposited in amongst these people who seemed so perfect together. It took her awhile to realize that _they were her family too_.

Sirius, being the only person unoccupied by conversation, wandered over toward Lily. They hadn't spoken yet, but he seemed nice enough.

They spoke for awhile, and Lily found herself liking him well enough. But she was put off. He was good looking, and she was not used to being around boys. Suddenly she felt awkward and nervous and didn't trust her voice to make the right sounds. He was completely at ease—with life, it seemed. And he didn't appear to notice her nervousness.

Eventually, Jaguar walked away from Ari, and came to join them. Ari, smiling, moved to talk to Nivea.

Jaguar didn't greet them. She just stood at Sirius' side, silently for a minute. And it seemed as though they were both judging Lily. She didn't feel uncomfortable anymore, strangely. They were examining her, as if to decide whether she was fit for this family or not. Jaguar nodded after awhile, and grabbed Lily's hand. "Come on!"

For the rest of the day, Jaguar and Sirius walked around the mansion, showing Lily rooms, and talking about general things, like favorite colors, and favorite normal foods. They were forbidden to tell her about Hogwarts, or to reveal the fact that they had magic. By telling her, Nivea had said. So, Sirius reckoned, they couldn't mention anything about magic, but it didn't mean they could scare Lily by using it.

Neither of them had attended magic school to learn magic yet. All they knew were things like history and foreign studies, and they really didn't care about either of those. So they could only do very basic tricks like move things with their minds, or put out lights at will. Jaguar, who had seemed to inherit the trait from Nivea, could do magic without a wand, which was unusual. She had studied her Ari's magic books, and could perform very simply spells.

What is that!" Lily exclaimed as they walked into Katrine's bedroom to find a multicolored cat stretched out across the bed.

The cat looked up at the children, and stretched lazily, its colour slowly evening out to sky blue.

"Woof," it said. Or appeared to say. Really, Sirius had thrown his voice.

Lily, who had been about to pet it, jumped back, and laughed. "Oh wow!" She glanced up at Jag. "Was that... the cat?"

"Yeah," said Sirius. "What else meows?"

"It barked," said Lily straightening up and staring at him. "I heard it, and I don't know what kind of tricks you guys are up to, but I think I'm starting to get it. Aunt Nivea told me I should probably not try to bring up the subject. Oh! How sly she thinks she is. I am not insane, Sirius Black. You two are magical, aren't you? Along with the cat."

Jag stared at her. "Why didn't you tell us! We were trying to scare you with magic this whole—"

"I know! I was pretending I didn't notice. She told me about Hogwarts, about magic after I got my acceptance letter this morning."

Jaguar's jaw fell open.

"NOT FAIR!" Sirius shrieked, looking at her wide-eyed, almost in disbelief. Lily had just found out she was a witch and she was already accepted. What if he wasn't accepted? Could that be possible? He supposed anything was possible… But maybe that wasn't likely. So where was his letter? It seemed like everyone else's had already arrived.

"She said you guys were squibs."

"SQUIBS!" yelled Jag. Squibs were fake wizards, who usually were dropped on their heads as babies, and couldn't do magic. Jaguar and Sirius found it fun to call Danika and Katrine squibs sometimes. She and Sirius were definitely not squibs. Or were they? Nivea did seem to know everything… Jaguar might have pondered that idea until she upset herself, but Lily didn't give her the chance.

Lily, who knew what a squib was, although of course she had never seen one, raised her eyebrows. "She also gave me these, but I wasn't to give you them until she said so." She pulled two letters out of her jacket.

Two pairs of eyes stared at her as she held them out. "Mine..." Sirius moaned, reaching out towards them.

"Finally..." Jaguar whispered, lunging forward to grab one, but Lily spun away, tucking them into her clothes somehow, and ran down the hallway. Sirius and Jaguar tore after her, but lost her as she seemed to disappear around a corner. A few minutes later, they gave up and went back down with the adults, in extremely bad humor, and found Lily sitting safely with Nivea and Monica, chatting with Katrine.

"I hate you," Jaguar growled, narrowing her eyes at her aunt, who looked back, obviously amused, and rolled her eyes. "I HATE you."

Sirius strode forward and snatched the two letters out of Lily's hand. "THANK you!" he snapped, ripping open a letter. "Oh wait; this is yours!" He handed it to Jag, and she tore into it like a hurricane.

It felt a bit like Christmas morning. She had been anticipating this day for most of her life. And now she stared at the words on the parchment, and felt… complete. She grinned wildly, and saw Sirius returning the same expression.

"Can we go tomorrow?" Sirius and Jaguar asked at the same time, staring at each other with huge grins on their faces, while Danika and Katrine looked at them, with semi-scowls. Their turn would come, they knew, but not for two more years.

Monica sighed, and shook her head, sounding perhaps a bit regretful, or maybe just indifferent. "I can't take you. I have to work." She looked over at Nivea. "Maybe Nivea can take you." Neither Jaguar nor anyone else in the room had expected Monica to agree to take them, so they were not surprised. Monica was generally too busy to take her children anywhere. Days could go by sometimes, where they had no word at all from her.

Lily, Jag, and Sirius turned and stared at Nivea with pleading, wide eyes.

Nivea wrinkled her nose. "Thanks for volunteering me," she said dismissively to her sister. "Do I have to?" she asked after a moment, cleaning her sunglasses magically, although she used no wand, which generally would have been necessary for most people. Where had they come from, after she had tossed them aside in front of the house? Who knew? It was just a thing unique to Nivea. She always had her sunglasses.

It was obvious by the way that the children glared at her, what the answer would be.

"Ah fine," Nivea assented, smiling slightly, glad that she could be of some use to someone other than the manipulative bastards at the Ministry of Magic. "We'll go to Diagon Alley tomorrow."


	5. Life

**A/N: **_Please bear in mind that I wrote all this after Prisoner of Azkaban was published, and changed some things after the Goblet of Fire... And the subsequent books didn't entirely go the way I had hoped, for them to correlate to my story. So there are some details that are completely off, but oh well. Such is life. _

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**Jaguar Brazil**

**Life**

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Jaguar smiled around her room as she woke up the next morning, in a very good mood. She was going to buy her things for Hogwarts today! It cemented things in her mind. This time next month, she would be a Hogwarts student. Usually, she was not a morning person, preferring to stay up all night and sleep all day if she could. But the excitement and anticipation coursing through her veins made her tingle slightly. She stretched, yawning widely.

"Hey Jaguar," Lily grinned, from the bed that had been conjured up last night next to Jaguar's. She was fully dressed and showered, and writing in some sort of book.

"Good morning!" Jaguar said enthusiastically. "What'cha writin'?"

Lily blushed faintly. "Oh nothing," she said, before tucking the book away into the bag Nivea, her _aunt _(how strange it was to think that…), had given her the day before. She was more like Nivea than she knew. Lily could not fathom being anything like her sophisticated, elegant relative.

"Where is Sirius?" asked Jaguar, turning her attention to the fact that Sirius was no longer on his cot on the floor, where he had slept that night. Apparently, it had been too much trouble for Nivea to magic up a bed for him, and she had given him a pile of blankets and pillows instead.

"_You can't hear him?_" Lily asked incredulously.

And when Jaguar listened, she heard Sirius singing, from inside of Jaguar's bathroom. He was really a good singer, but did his best to sound lousy at it. He was doing a great job. His singing was nearly unrecognizable, as it sounded very much like cats in heat. She giggled. "Orite," she said. "I'll go to another bathroom."

Lily nodded and raised a brush to her hair as Jaguar rushed out of the room.

As soon as her cousin had gone, Lily lowered her hand, setting the brush down on the bed, before standing next to the window. She slid it open, leaning outward. The fresh summer air tasted and smelled _wonderful_. She had never felt so free. The air in the house she shared with her father and sister had always seemed dreary and oppressive. And to imagine that now she was in this beautiful mansion, with family she had never known she had… She could have felt a grudge against them for not rescuing her sooner, but that wasn't in her nature. She was just grateful now. She kept thinking that she was about to wake up from this dream.

The green grass extended before her, as she looked off into the distance. All of this land belonged to Monica Brazil. And Lily had seen all the expensive things this family owned. Nivea's house was even more spectacular. She had come to the conclusion that magical people were extremely rich.

That was not exactly true. Nivea was estranged from the Cortez family, to the fullest extent a witch could be from her full-blooded family, and Monica Brazil no longer kept in close contact with them. She had married into the Brazil name, and received nothing from them other than prestige added to her already prestigious name, and some money and property out of her divorce. The Brazils had been one of the most secretive families. No one really knew how they got all their money, but they had it, and as a result, had also a lot of power. Although now their line was mixing with the blood of other families. The Cortez family was originally from Spain, a very long time ago. They had migrated over time to England, although they still had relatives in France and Italy. They were very well known.

All the members in their extended family married into a clan with money, and most members had jobs that brought in even more money. But the vast majority of their money and possessions came from their long history. All of the priceless treasures the old purebloods had were accumulated over thousands of years.

Lily knew none of this, but she could still feel a sense of mystery. As though she was part of something bigger than herself. Something powerful. She loved the feeling, although she really didn't recognize it. There was a sense of _age_ around everything magical.

Turning away from the window reluctantly, she surveyed Jaguar's room. It was the largest bedroom Lily had ever been in. The size of ten of her own, although, true being told, Lily's bedroom had hardly been larger than a closet. Why Sirius Black had slept on the floor last night was a mystery, because there was certainly room for many more beds in here. The room was filled with treasures. There was a thing like looked like an extremely large diamond on a stand next to the door. A large map covered one wall. It looked like it was moving, although Lily didn't fixate much on that. The room was very ornate. Neat, organized. It seemed nothing at all like Jaguar. The room didn't look lived in at all.

"It really isn't," said someone behind Lily. The girl jumped and spun around; surprised that Nivea had heard her. She hadn't noticed that she was speaking aloud.

Nivea smiled. "Don't worry. You weren't." She walked into Jaguar's room and looked around. "It's such a beautiful house. Lovely room. My sister certainly keeps things clean." She raised one eyebrow as she skimmed her finger across a shelf and looked at it. "But honestly, can you imagine living here? It's like a museum!" She laughed to herself. This had been her bedroom, at one time. It seemed so long ago now. Nivea supposed that 11 years _was _a long time.

Nivea was a very strange woman. A model, a movie star, and singer. But there was something _more_ about her. It would not—could not be enough to say that Nivea was a star. She was, but at the same time, she wasn't. She was nothing special, but not ordinary in any way. Nivea was, as Lily saw it, after spending only one day with her, a walking contradiction. Sometimes Lily found her eyes drawn to her aunt, and was unable to turn away. Nivea emanated a sort of energy. Fierce, but soft at the same time. She was the most interesting person Lily had ever met. But it wasn't even truly her physical appearance that drew people to her. It was her whole way of carrying herself. Her attitude. The way she seemed to look at the world. And there was a sorrow inside her. Sometimes she seemed like she just wanted to scream at everyone around her. Other times she became so overcome with emotions that she seemed on the verge of bursting into tears and hugging everyone she saw. Most of the time she seemed stoic. As though she could see and acknowledge the chaos of the world around her, but remain unaffected by it. Unconcerned. Although with her family, she allowed her true self to show through.

Lily answered, "I know. I mean, I always thought my father's house was big. But this..! And _your _house!"

Nivea shook her head, lightly, in more of a mirthful than disapproving manner, and said, "This house is the right size. My _palace_—" here she wrinkled her nose disdainfully, "My house is so insanely superfluous. All of that space. I should adopt orphans or something, what d'you think?"

Lily thought about how desperately she just wanted Nivea to like her. She wanted to have this feeling of belonging to something forever. But she wondered just how much Nivea knew about her. Because when those eyes stared at you, they seemed to see _everything_. She shuddered involuntarily.

Terrified, she looked to Nivea, mostly to make sure her aunt hadn't noticed. Predictably, Nivea had noticed, and was sitting with her head cocked to the side, eyes twinkling with amusement. Lily felt strangely violated.

Suddenly Nivea grinned and said, "Let's get outta here!"

Outside of the house, Nivea danced across the lawn. Lily had seen Nivea dance before. Everyone had. But somehow this woman in front of her was not the same one she had seen on television countless times. And seeing Nivea Cortez dance was something unexpected. Seeing the way Nivea spun and laughed so gracefully before falling over and sitting down hard and laughing some more made Lily realize just how young the woman was. She couldn't have been older than 22 or 23. She looked almost like a child in some ways.

Sirius Black came racing out of the house, yelling, "James and Remus are coming! And my sister and her friends will be here any moment."

Katrine had followed him outside. "Can me and Danika come?" she asked Nivea, raising a hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight.

"No," Nivea said. "Enough people are coming already. And you have no reason to go. I'll take you and Danika some other time."

Scowling, Katrine walked away in the direction of Sirius' house. She passed Sirius' mother, Susan Black, and growled some greeting toward her.

"Well!" Susan exclaimed, laughing. "Hello to you, too!" She smiled as she saw Nivea. "Niv!"

The two woman embraced. "I haven't seen you in forever," said Nivea, smiling back.

Nivea stepped back to study the face of the woman who was the closest thing to a best friend she had. Susan Black perpetuated the word _pretty_. Her long, silky, black hair was tied back in a loose bun, and she wore a loose yellow sundress that hung around her body, and would have made the wearer look fat, had the wearer been anyone else. Her warm brown eyes sparkled as she greeted her friend.

"How's the hubby?" asked Nivea as the two moved apart. Lily, done watching this, walked over to where Sirius stood, examining Nivea's car.

"He's alright. Ministry business, you know," said Susan. "He hardly comes home anymore. I suppose the Minister simply has too much to do. But hey—I heard you were running in the next election!" Susan's husband, Julius Black was the Minister of Magic, and because of that, he was around his home even less than Nivea was.

"Did you now?" asked Nivea mysteriously. "Who told you?"

Lily inclined her head toward Nivea's car, more as a way of fighting off an awkward silence than anything else. "I never imagined that witches would own cars. Thought it'd be broomsticks or something." They could probably teleport wherever they wanted to go if they wanted.

Sirius laughed. "Not all of them own cars. A lot do… I mean, Brazil Manor had electricity, if you didn't notice…"

Lily nodded. Then at a loss for anything else to say, said, "Will I be behind in Hogwarts?"

"Behind what?" Sirius asked absently. "Oh!" He laughed. "No. I don't even know how to hold a wand, let alone cast a spell."

Jaguar joined them at that moment, singing to herself as she approached. "Oh yes, I know I said I'd never leave. But now you're dead, and I can't stay, Lord take my life, this shade of grey…"

Having never heard that song before, Lily asked, "What song is that?"

"So I have nothing left to say. I live my life in shades of grey," Jaguar finished. "Oh! You've never heard it, have you? Niv is weird." She wrinkled her nose. "It's Shades of Grey, by Nivea Cortez."

No, thought Lily, of course she had heard it. She remembered it now, quite clearly. But she couldn't remember when or where she had heard it. The thing about Nivea was that she wasn't one of those famous people who were all anyone ever talked about. Her face was everywhere, but you forgot about her entirely unless you actually seeing or hearing her. Of course, that had changed now. Nivea had left an impression on Lily that would never be forgotten.

"Oh… I _have_ heard it," said Lily.

"I haven't," said Jaguar, "not in a long time." Wistfully, she looked at her aunt. "You've got a beautiful voice, Aunt Niv."

"Yes," said Nivea, "I know." She turned back to Susan Black. "Are you coming shopping with us?"

"Oh," said Susan. "I should stay and watch Danika and Katrine… But I suppose I can call someone to watch them." Her voice trailed off, and she looked exasperated. She whirled around to glare at Nivea. "You invited Genevieve!"

"I thought you liked her!" Nivea hissed back.

"I _do_! But you and her tend to ruin things with your arguing."

"Well it's not my fault! She's a horrible bitch! Besides, I didn't invite her," Nivea waved at the woman who was approaching them. Apparently, Genevieve Lupin had emerged from the fireplace at Sirius' house. The two young boys she was with ran ahead of her toward Jaguar and Sirius. Nivea groaned loudly. "Oh God. Let's hope she just came to drop those two off."

"Do we really have that kind of luck?" Susan asked, waving at Genevieve. "Hullo! Will you be joining us today?"

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly!" Genevieve answered, nearing them. Nivea smiled at this. "Nivea hates me far too much for me to join you!" her French accent was evident. She forced and exaggerated it, since she rarely went to France or even spoke French. She had pronounced Nivea's name as Neevea. How repulsive. It was the fakest accent Nivea had ever heard. More fake than the American accent Ari Black affected. Really, it was quite remarkable what a child could pick up from American cinema.

"Oh no," said Nivea, who was never one to bite her tongue, especially around females, which had never made her many female friends. "Don't start that shit with me again!"

Genevieve recoiled slightly, nearly losing her balance in her obscenely high heeled shoes. "What are you talking about, Neevea?"

"You're so jealous of me your skin is nearly green!" At that comment, Susan wanted to move away. But she remained where she was so that she could stop her friends if they decided to hit each other. "All because my family has money. Um, newsflash! _Not my fault!_ And I 'steal' your boyfriends! Ah, but you can't steal a person who doesn't want to be stolen!"

Genevieve, who was not normally a pretty woman, now contorted her face severely. She looked a bit like a goblin. "You horrible bitch! How dare you accuse me of these things! I am not jealous of someone like you!" She spit each word into Nivea's face.

"Vile woman! You want to challenge me? Do you know who I am? I am telling you," Nivea exclaimed, leaning closer, "it will be a mistake!" She glared at the other woman, who was a bit taller than she was, with a look of extreme hatred. Lesser looks had caused criminals to confess to their sins. Genevieve's legs faltered.

She backed away. "I have better things to do than argue with something as pathetic as you!" She could hardly force the words out of her mouth as she stumbled. Whirling around, she called out, "Remus! I will see you later. I cannot stay. Something has come up!"

Remus looked at her. "…Okay then," he said, before turning back to Jaguar, who was waving her arms wildly as she talked about how she was going to be the seeker for the Quidditch team at Hogwarts.

Genevieve glared at him for a moment before stalking away. Suddenly her heel broke. "Careful, Geny!" Nivea called, choking back tears of laughter. Maybe it was her who had broken the heel. Who knows?

Soon enough, Ari Black arrived two of her friends, who seemed to treat her as royalty. They walked slightly behind her, and snapped their mouths shut when she spoke to them.

And the group piled into Nivea's car. It seemed strange that so many people could fit into what from the outside looked like such a small car. Lily realized that she was the only one who thought it was unusual. The other kids were excited. About what?

Life.

Nivea started the engine, and began the drive toward Diagon Alley.


	6. Bubble Busters

**Jaguar Brazil**

**Bubble Busters**

The car ride was pretty quiet. Lily was able to observe everyone at close range. She was always observing people. And though she felt slightly weird about, she didn't stop.

James, it occurred to her, was a quiet boy. He had messy, dark brown hair, which he rubbed every once in awhile, while talking to Sirius about a new broomstick he wanted. His hazel eyes flashed with passion. Every once in awhile, he would look over at Remus Lupin, as though seeking approval.

Remus Lupin looked weary. He seemed bright enough from the three words he'd uttered to her outside, but he just looked a bit worn down. His sandy coloured hair was gorgeously full and luxurious. It was the sort of hair any girl would dream of having. Or at least of running his fingers through. He seemed to be the most laid back of his group of friends. They all seemed to look toward him for assurance or something.

Jaguar sat with her arm entwined with his and her head on his shoulder. Every so often, he'd whisper something to her, and she'd laugh, or hit him in the chest. She didn't look troubled by anything. A strand of her long black hair fell across her face, and Remus pushed it out of the way without thought.

All four of them seemed like such close friends, that Lily felt like an intruder for even being there. She wanted to be friends with them. She wanted friends like them. It was like looking through a window into perfection.

Ari Black and her friends were also in the car. Lily remembered that one of the girls was named Annabelle Potter, and she was James' sister. The teenagers spoke loudly, rapidly, in a speech punctuated with meaningless slang terms. Actually, as Lily watched them more closely, Ari didn't speak to either of her friends. She just sat there, not even listening to them, just staring off into space. Her eyes shone, as though she were brimming with some sort of uncontrollable emotion.

Lily didn't like her, for a reason she couldn't quite identify. Maybe it was because Lily was so at home with order and normalcy.

Finally, the car was parked, and the group was walking through the city. One of Ari Black's friends was quite excited about everything. London was new to her, obviously. Lily had been to London before, but wasn't particularly interested in it. In fact, she wasn't particularly interested in anything, when she let herself think about it.

Jaguar followed behind her aunt, staying very close to Sirius. It wasn't the strangeness of the city that bothered her. It was how little she knew about her family. Now she could see… Remus had told her before; pure blood families had too many secrets. They were all dark and scary to normal, middle class people. Old families, with extreme wealth beyond your wildest dream, _and_ magical powers, had no reason to get to know each other.

For example, Jaguar had never known that Nivea worked in the muggle world. But when James asked her how if she came here often, she had replied, 'Of course. I work here.' Jaguar found herself wondering what Nivea's job was. But, with her mother being Guardian of Secrets, and head of the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic, Jaguar had learnt not to seem overly curious. It was much easier to find the answers you were looking for if you simply snooped around until you discovered them on your own. Of course, Jaguar knew that the Ministry of Magic was located in London, but she also knew that that was not what Nivea had meant.

Ari looked at Jaguar wildly, as though she were trying very hard to control herself. She opened her mouth to say something, then shook her head, and gestured about herself with both arms, the expression on her face rapturous.

Jaguar looked at her, slightly concerned. When Ari got like this, it was hard not to wonder if she really had all her marbles.

Finally Nivea halted at the entrance of a very dark looking alleyway. The children peered into it. The weather was very hot, and the sun was bright. But the alley appeared to be lit by moonlight. It was extremely eerie. Jaguar moved slightly closer to Sirius, unconsciously. Lily, seeing this, giggled. Jag scowled and moved away from him.

"Shut up, Lily," she snapped. Lily rolled her eyes dramatically.

Tilting her head to look over the top of her sunglasses, Nivea started down the narrow alley. "C'mon kiddos," she called over her shoulder. "Don't stop."

Ari and her friends walked forward briskly, as Annabelle whispered frantically to the two girls who had never really been to London before.

Jaguar stepped forward to follow them, but Susan Black stopped her. "I see Nivea has forgotten herself again." The woman smiled, wrinkling her nose. "Just because she's invincible doesn't mean everyone is. Do not stop as you're walking. You may want to. Never go through this alley in any weakened condition. Don't look too closely into the doorways. Try to keep your eyes straight ahead." She took a couple steps forward, before turning back. "Remember, nothing in the alley can hurt you."

James stepped into the alley behind Susan, followed by Jaguar and Lily, who were now slightly nervous, and stood very close together. Sirius and Remus rounded off the group.

Suddenly, they were plunged into darkness. Jaguar felt hungry suddenly. Her stomach felt empty. Like it had never been filled before. She felt like she was dying of hunger, as her stomach clenched around itself. She longed for the taste of food on her tongue. The texture in her mouth…

Lily felt a pressure on her bladder suddenly. She was nearing a very embarrassing moment when Jaguar reached out and grasped her hand tightly. It was distracting enough for Lily to gain a hold on herself.

Remus was overcome by tiredness. Mental, physical, emotionally exhausted, he stumbled and nearly lost his footing. Sirius had the most horrible thirst he'd ever felt in his life, and he could hardly draw air in to breathe. James, leading them, was overcome by an urge to sing, but couldn't get any words out of his throat. He rubbed it with his fingers, more frustrated than he'd ever been in his life.

And just at that moment, he passed the first door. It seemed to be some sort of club, from which music drifted out. And he knew with a certainty that if he were to enter the club, he would be able to sing to his heart's content. No matter if he couldn't sing. There was nothing more he wanted to do at the moment. Jaguar stumbled and nearly fell as she passed the first door, and the rich aroma of food swept over her. "Lily," she gasped. "Stop!"

They slowed down enough to look through the open door. Lily saw a luxurious bathroom with a toilet. She tried to dash toward it, before realizing that Jaguar was holding her back. "Jag!" she whined. "Let go!"

Jaguar stopped, nearly drooling at the sight and smell of nourishment. "No," she whispered. "It doesn't feel right." She pulled back slightly. "Let's just keep going."

"I _can't_!" Lily gasped.

"No such thing," Remus mumbled from behind her, stumbling over his shoelaces as he and Sirius approached. Sirius wheezed something that was unintelligible.

"You okay?" Jag asked.

He shook his head, and grabbed her other hand. "Let's keep going."

Jaguar had barely had time to think _this isn't The Leaky Cauldron_, before they had entered the alleyway. Now she was wondering what Nivea was thinking, leading them into this… this passage… It was horrible. Really, it was a form of torture!

The girls ahead of them were fairing even worse. One of Ari's friends kept attempting to throw herself on the ground, weeping loudly, and swatting her body as if trying to scare off a swarm of bugs. Annabelle was trying to hold the girl up, and she kept swaying as waves of dizziness threatened to overtake her.

Ari was several feet in front of them, looking back and forth into the doorways, rapidly twisting her head. People were calling her from every doorway, and she couldn't see them. But she had a feeling that if she entered any of the buildings, she would meet the person she so desperately wanted to see. She felt as though without that person, she would die. "Come out!" she yelled into one of the doors. "I'm not going in there, because I know it's not really you!"

Nivea led the group, surefooted, as she kept walking rapidly down the long alleyway. Her sunglasses concealed much of her face, but it was evident that tears were spilling from her eyes. What was going through her mind? Who ever knows with Nivea? Whatever it was, she was doing her best to ignore it as she led the group. Her whole body was shaking slightly, but she forced herself to stand in an upright position.

Why had she chosen to lead them through this alleyway, knowing full well that there were other, easier ways? Again, it was her solipsism. She wanted to prove to the alley that she could do it. That she was strong enough to fight back the feelings. She swiped at her eyes angrily and realized that one day she would have to stop fighting.

Susan understood that Nivea _needed _this, which was why she had not objected. She'd been the through it before, and she knew it was completely bearable. Just not very enjoyable. Still, she wondered if Nivea thought about anyone but herself when she saw how distraught the children were.

Finally they emerged at the end of the alley, and were again bathed in sunlight and heat. Nivea squinted, and wiped at her eyes, before clearing her throat and turning to address the rest of the group. Now that she was out of the alley, the feelings had lessoned, although they had not disappeared completely.

"Well then," she said, forcing a grin. "Here we are. Diagon Alley. Shall we stop for lunch first?"

"No," said Annabelle. "Clothes shopping!"

Ari snorted derisively at her friend, flipping her hair, in a way that made her look as though she was somehow _above_ everyone else. "Don't be shallow." She turned to Nivea. "Yes, lunch first."

Jaguar who was hardly hungry at all now, looked around. She had been in this part of Diagon Alley briefly when she was younger, and Nivea had resided in a house here when she was younger, and was not at the old Cortez Castle.

They were in the residential area of Diagon Alley. Very high class, so many just graduated magic school students from rich families moved here. The streets were very wide, and not too crowded, although there were still a lot of people here. The shops nearby were the most expensive of wizarding shops. So pricey that even Nivea would think twice about some purchases. Not because she couldn't afford whatever item she had been considering. More because of principals. Why buy an expensive outfit when she could get the same one for a cheaper price, and it would benefit the family who owned the store she made her purchase from?

Or maybe it was just because Nivea couldn't stand rich people. The snooty ones who had everything, and still found reason to complain about it all.

Jaguar and Remus moved to walk next to Nivea, as James and Sirius fell back, chattering about the new Quidditch shop they had just passed. They kept twisting their necks back to look at it. Annabelle was looking into every clothing shop they passed, and each time Ari caught this, she would poke Anna hard in the ribs and tell her to stop looking desperate.

"What would have happened if we walked through one of those doors?" Jaguar asked.

Nivea, who seemed quite out of it, and had been staring ahead of her silently, now looked down, lips slightly parted. It seemed to take her a moment to realize that Jaguar had spoken. She shook her head briskly. "No one knows. The people who have entered one of the buildings never come back to tell anyone. So either they die, get trapped there forever, go somewhere else entirely, or find something so great they never want to return to our little world. I'd prefer not finding out."

Remus said, "You're not curious, Niv?"

She smiled slightly, and shook her head. "Oh no. I'm sure it's very interesting. But I've got bigger fish to fry."

The group lunched at Ovio Bistro, a French restaurant run (or rather, owned) by the family of the French Minister of Magic.

Service was fast. The chefs had perfected their cooking magic over their entire careers, and now were quite adept at it. Besides that, Susan and Nivea were regulars at this restaurant, and were known to tip well. Not that the chefs were in need of any extra money.

The group ate quietly, in the dim lighting of the very exclusive restaurant. It was spacey, and as Nivea was a celebrity, they were shown to a large, circular table in the back, near a huge window overlooking the entirety of Diagon Alley.

Nivea lowered herself onto the soft velvet chair the maitre d pulled out for her. "A menu, mademoiselle Cortez?" a waiter asked. Nivea nodded, and took the sheaf from him.

She gazed silently around the table. Her eyes, concealed behind her dark glasses, lingered for awhile on Jaguar Brazil. Her niece, like herself, was of the type of personality that immediately drew people toward her. Everything she did looked instinctive, easy. As though she had the perfect life. And really, Jaguar had a life that was as perfect as it was possible to obtain. She would never want for anything material. Nivea longed to grab her, to whisk her away from life. _Her _life. It won't always be this easy, Nivea wanted to say. But it wasn't her business. Everyone makes mistakes, and each person has to learn from them in his or her own way. Jaguar glanced up from showing something to Sirius, and looked straight into Nivea's eyes, even through the sunglasses. Nivea turned her gaze to Lily abruptly.

Her niece. Soon Nivea would have to find the time to take Lily aside and explain to her exactly why she had left her with her father for such a long time. There really was no reason. Only a feeble why. It would make up for nothing, and apologies could not take anything back. But the girl had a right to know.

Shaking her head, Nivea fervently wished that she was somewhere else. Odd. She was wishing that more and more often lately. Whenever she was around people. That was part of the reason she'd made no music lately. No acting roles. No photo shoots. She was so young, and looked even younger. But she was feeling old.

"Cheer up," Susan said, nudging Nivea, from the seat next to her.

Nivea smiled at her. "I'm good." The two women fell into an easy conversation about Susan's husband. From time to time, they looked up from their menus to survey the children. The only time they had to interfere was when Remus and Ari got into an argument about the Soviet Union and whether democracy would ever spread to the entire world (Ari was adamant that all of the world would one day have one governmental system and religion, while Remus maintained that this was impossible), and Jaguar had jumped in to say that no matter how much Ari pretended to be an American, she never would actually be one. Ari had flipped at that, saying that Jaguar could be narrow-minded all she wanted to be, but she would never be defined by what area of the world she had been born in.

Finally Nivea looked up and said, "You're all right. End of discussion."

Her voice sounded angry enough that all of the children shut up immediately, none of them having the nerve to stand up to Nivea. Finally, after glancing around at everyone else angrily, Ari asked, "How is that possible?" Her American accent faltered for a moment, but she quickly regained it. "How can we all be correct?"

Nivea turned away to summon the waiter over, ignoring the question, and Ari sank back in her seat, in a very annoyed, undignified way that was quite unusual to see from Ari Black.

The meal went by quickly, and the food was rich and delicious. At the end of the meal, the French Minister's wife came out of the kitchens to greet Nivea.

"Ah! Nivea Cortez!" she exclaimed in her strong French accent. "How glad I am to see you here again. It has been such a long time!"

"Ahaha. Yes it has," replied Nivea. "How have you been, Michelle?"

"I have been wonderful. I am so happy in England. You look beautiful."

Nivea smiled, and stood up to embrace the woman. "Merci bien." They exchanged bijoux.

Susan stood up as well. "My compliments to the chef."

Michelle Dawes gave a little shriek. "But no one told me Susan Black was here! I am so happy to see you!" The small blonde woman threw her arms around the other woman's neck. "And your children are all so big!"

It took nearly 20 minutes for Nivea to negotiate their release from the restaurant. She and Susan had to agree to drop by for tea sometime. No matter that Nivea despised tea.

Outside, in the hot summer sun, the children skipped ahead, leading the way through Diagon Alley. Jaguar grabbed Sirius' hand, and together they ran into a joke shop, wide-eyed and excited.

Remus and James were close behind them, and they dragged Lily with them, although she had no real interest in the shop. She was much more excited about getting books about magic, and a wand. And maybe even a broomstick! She was too afraid to ask her aunt about that.

"Um no," said Annabelle. "Can we go off on our own?" The 13-year-old smiled at Susan Black.

Glancing at Nivea, Susan replied. "No, but I'll go with you. Niv, if we don't meet up again, I'll see you later."

The older girls rushed down the street, babbling about some hot guy that had a new single out, and about who was going to his concert next month.

Inside the store, Jaguar spent a long time examining a packet of things called "Bubble Busters". They were a bit like whoopee cushions, except that they were filled with red jelly ink that was supposed to mimic menstrual blood. You placed them on a seat, and waited for someone to sit down.

"God," said Jaguar to Lily who was standing beside her, staring with an equal look of disgust. "That's _horrible._ I would never do that prank. And I really have no limits."

Lily giggled, covering her mouth delicately. "Yes, it's definitely awful." She picked up two packets anyhow.

Jaguar frowned at her slightly. "Just don't show those to Sirius or James. I wouldn't trust them with those."

Spending over an hour in the store, the five children spent over 100 galleons on prank supplies.

By the time they passed that amount, Nivea was becoming incredulous. Of course, cost was no issue to her, but she could hardly believe that there were so many practical joke supplies in the world. Since the children's parents would have disapproved, Nivea had the cost put onto her tab, and arranged for the purchases to be delivered later.

She just couldn't resist.

They moved on to the clothing store.

Stephanie Bellagina and Arnold Rastantian were both in their shop and the couple fawned over their costumers as though they were royalty. They were Nivea's favorite apparel merchants, and she spared no expense on buying what she needed.

Hogwarts robes were pretty standard, and easy to make, once measured. Bellagina had her dress makers working on those at once.

The children looked at all the robes racked around the store and through their catalogues before choosing dress robes.

Nivea took a very long time selecting one robe. She never wore the same dress robe in public more than once and thus needed a new one for the upcoming Ministry Ball.

Lily, nearly overwhelmed, shrank back as measuring tape rose to take her inches.

"Stand tall, my girl," Rastantian admonished. "Unless you want robes an inch too short!" He studied the look on her face. "First timer, eh? I remember my first time to Diagon Alley. Yes," he said, laughing at her surprise. "It is obvious, and yes, I am muggle born."

The girl smiled at him. The extremely handsome man reached out to her, and she took his hand gingerly.

"You're a very beautiful girl," said Rastantian. "Your eyes are remarkable. You'd do well to match whatever you choose with your eyes, rather than with your hair." He showed her to a rack covered with emerald robes. "Choose one of these if you'd like. And I will personally do my best to make it as beautiful as you are. Ce n'est pas possible. But I will try." He winked at her, and let go of her hand. Lily was swooning and lightheaded, and could hardly stand by now.

She mustered up enough strength to throw Jaguar a superior glance. Her cousin glared at her vehemently, trying green with envy. Rastantian's wife, Bellagina, was fussing over Jaguar's robe choice. It was simple, light blue, knee length. Bellagina felt that it was a horrible choice for Jaguar's complexion, hair, and eye colours. Finally Jaguar agreed, just to shut the woman up, to buy the same dress, but in a pale grey colour, with flowing sleeves and a low cut top. Although Jaguar had nothing at all to show off when it came to her chest. She might not have minded being prodded if it was by Bellagina's husband. Bellagina was not an attractive woman. She was slightly overweight, and very plain looking. Freckly skin with a few pimples around her hair line. Light brown hair. Her husband, on the other hand, had perfect skin and black hair that draped softly on his shoulders in gentle curls. Jaguar wanted to run her fingers through his hair. The impulse startled her, and scared her in a way. But he was hot. The robe he was wearing pressed against his chest in all the right places. And his brown eyes were smoldering.

Jaguar and Lily were in love with him after five minutes. As he helped the boys find robes, they followed him like puppies.

"What do you think?" Jaguar whispered into Lily's ear. "Italian or Spanish?"

"I dunno," Lily whispered back. "Spanish, I think. Italians are more hairy. And he doesn't have much hair on the back of his hand. You know… The hand I was holding." She giggled.

Jaguar sighed. "Lucky!"

Nivea and Bellagina sat down near the entrance to watch the shop attendants and Rastantian help the costumers.

"No," Bellagina was saying. "I don't find it annoying at all. Rather, I think it's very sweet."

"Sweet… Yes." But I'm not talking about Lily and Jaguar. They're children. When grown women—or even teenaged girls act that same way, does it bother you?"

Bellagina, who was not a friend of Nivea's and only ever sucked up to her so that Nivea would remain a costumer, looked at her suspiciously. "I suppose it might. Why?"

Nivea lowered her sunglasses. Then she removed them entirely and leaned forward conspiratorially. "Well. No reason really. Just a rumour I heard. Ah, but it's not important to you."

"No no no. Tell me."

Nivea tapped her chin with her fingertips. "Hm. Alright. Well, I've heard a rumour about Rastantian and Jezebel Morgan. Not just from one person, mind you. I hear it from everyone."

Nivea had a mean streak. She didn't really have anything against Bellagina. She just felt extreme pity for the woman. Nivea and Rastantian had been having "relations" for over a year, and Bellagina had never caught on. But Rastantian had recently broke things off with Nivea, claiming that he loved his wife. Nivea thought it was because she had turned 26 years old, and was now too old for him. Either way. She was going to get back at him. Nobody jilted Nivea Cortez. Their relationship had really been nothing to her, but she was going to use it to her advantage. And when Bellagina confronted him about it, and he called Nivea, she would seduce him. And, of course, Bellagina would walk in halfway through.

Lost in her fantasies, Nivea didn't notice when the children walked over to her.

"Here's your bill," said Bellagina tightly, looking furious. Nivea thought she was ugly enough when she was happy. Now she looked hideous and obese. "Your garments will be delivered soon. Ladies and gentlemen," she shouted suddenly, and the boutique slowly went silent. Rastantian looked at her in surprise. Then he saw Nivea standing behind and slightly to the side of his wife, and realization dawned in his eyes. Niv blew him a kiss, before whirling around to exit the store as Bellagina said, "I'm sorry, but there had been an emergency. You'll all have to come back later."

Jaguar was nearly rolling with laughter as they left the store. "Oh my God. I heard you tell her that her husband was having an affair with _Jezebel_!"

"Who?" asked Sirius.

"You met her," Jaguar said. "Remember." Rather than being a question, it seemed as though Jaguar was ordering Sirius to remember.

Sirius just looked confused.

Nivea was in a great mood now. "What's next?" She said, skipping down the street.

"We need wands," said Lily, who was holding a list of the things she needed for school.

"Oh yes!" said Nivea. "Oh, that's the greatest. I only used a wand for two years, but Ollivander's is absolutely_ magical_."

James agreed. "I went there when Anna got her wand. Wouldn't give me one though."

"Ooh," said Jag. "We also need new brooms!"

"Do you now?" Nivea smiled. "Hm. I don't know how I'll be able to afford all of that."

Shocked and humiliated, Lily said, "Oh no, Aunt Nivea. We could go return all that pranking stuff. It's not important!"

Incensed, Remus said, "Hey! Speak for yourself!"

Nivea laughed. "I was joking. Don't worry about the money. It's not important." They entered the main part of the alley. It was much more crowded here, and more diverse. Lily saw several creatures that were definitely not human. Gulping, she drew closer to Nivea. "This must be overwhelming for you," the woman said kindly. "I'm sorry if Jaguar and her friends are not more helpful. I had a muggle born friend when I was young, and we both were accepted into Hogwarts. He had a bit of an idea about magic from me. Still, he was stunned his first time here." She chuckled. "The look on his face." Okay, maybe he wasn't really a _friend_, and had abandoned her completely once he got accepted into another house, but embellishment never hurt.

Lily, although petrified by the prospect of magic and magical school, did her best to seem as though she were really interested in Nivea's old friend.

All of the children got their wands very quickly, with almost no troubles at all. Then it was Jaguar's turn. She ended up going through over 100 wands before old Ollivander gave up.

Defeated, Jaguar sunk into a chair. Her cheeks were flaming. Not from embarrassment, but because she was on the verge of crying. She crossed her arms over her chest, while Sirius looked at her worriedly, before turning to compare his wand to those now belonging to James and Remus.

Lily saw Jaguar, and frowned before coming over to sit beside her. "Are you alright?" she queried softly.

"Yes," Jaguar croaked. "I'm fine." But she wasn't. Her eyes were burning with suppressed tears. If she didn't get a wand, how would she ever learn magic?

Nivea came back from smoking a cigarette outside, and was filled in on what was going on.

"Why don't all of you wait for me outside?" Nivea asked. It wasn't in the tone of a question, so everyone except for Jaguar left the room. Nivea squatted down in front of her niece.

"Jaggie?"

"What!"

"Jaggie. Jag Jag. I love you."

"Okay then."

Nivea grinned.

"Why are you smiling? Do you think this is funny?"

"Oh no," Nivea said. "I'm sad. But at the same time, I'm laughing at myself because I ought to have expected it. When I was a child, I couldn't find a wand that fit either. We went through the entire inventory. My parents ordered wands from around the world… Finally my mother gave me her heirloom wand. She wasn't as good at magic as I was. So she couldn't do much without it, but she was able to get a replacement, so… Anyway, my wand has been in my family—our family for hundreds of generations. Since the time of Merlin, our ancestor. And, as legend says, it belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw.

Jaguar gasped. "Oh my God. That's… Wow." An unbelievable story, but coming from the Brazil and Cortez families, she was used to things that were so unbelievable they couldn't _possibly _be true, and yet somehow were.

"Yes. It is wow. But I have no practical use for the wand, since I never really even used it. So what will I do with it now? Maybe donate it to a museum..? Ooh. I might sell it."

The glare she received from Jaguar was enough to make them both giggle.

"I'll give it to you later. I haven't got it with me now."

"Thanks!" Jaguar exclaimed, throwing her arms around Nivea's neck and hugging her tightly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Anytime. Now, let's get moving before your friends form a posse to get us."

The rest of the day was spent in a haze of delight, until in the evening, exhausted, they departed, through The Leaky Cauldron, where they stopped for supper.

Sirius, Remus, James, and Ari's entourage went with Susan Black back to Pleasantville, but Jaguar and Lily went to Nivea's home.


	7. Ministry Ball

**A/N: **_I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update this story, darlings. I have a very busy life, you know. Well, I am not entirely satisfied with this chapter, but I don't think it's too bad. Please tell me what you think.  
_

**Jaguar Brazil **

**Ministry Ball **

"No!" Jaguar yelled. "You're _still _doing it wrong! Hold the shaft like this! It's not that difficult, Lily!" She balanced in the air next to her cousin, who was also on a broomstick.

The two girls were staying at Nivea's house. Nivea was at the Ministry of Magic working, so Jaguar and Lily had no supervision in the amazing palace that Nivea lived in. Instead of throwing wild parties, Jaguar had decided to teach Lily all she knew about the Wizarding World. Jaguar fluently spoke English, French, and Italian. She was passably fluent in Spanish, and could understand Latin and most other romance languages. She was trying to teach Lily rudimentary phrases in these languages. The Cortez family spoke mainly French, so they spoke French often at home. Mostly just to prove they could do it. Lily would eventually pick up on it even without help. It was too frustrating trying to learn, and Lily soon gave up.

They moved on to magical languages. All Jaguar could do was tell her about the ones she knew of, since she didn't personally speak any of them.

Jaguar was now trying to teach Lily how to ride a broomstick. Lily had to admit that it wasn't as easy as it looked. Jaguar balanced perfectly, as though the broomstick was an extension of her body. It was the result of years of practice, and entirely effortless. She bobbed slightly up and down in the air now, hands on her hips. If she wanted to, she could hold the broom completely still.

Lily struggled to stop her broom without falling off. Her body slipped to one side, and she had to pull herself up with her hands.

"Wow," said Jaguar. "I honestly do not remember it being so difficult."

Lily was finding it nearly impossible to sit on such a narrow surface. It took a lot of upper body strength to hold on. And when she tried to keep the correct grip, she couldn't keep her balance. Plus, the broomstick was horribly uncomfortable to sit on.

"Shut up," Lily gasped between breaths, trying to concentrate. "It's not funny."

"No, it isn't," Jaguar agreed. "It's horrific. C'mon, Lily! You can do this! It's not hard at all. Okay stop!"

Lily had been moving forward. Now she skidded to a stop again.

"Sit up straighter. Don't lean forward so far, or you'll go too fast. You might get out of control. Just remember… We're inside. There is a mat on the floor. You can't get hurt. But outside, you would die."

"I know about the mat," Lily said, laughing bitterly. She had fallen to the floor hundreds of times over the past two weeks.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE A WIMP? JUST GO FOR IT!" Jaguar yelled in her face. "Come on! You sissy!"

Startled, Lily tumbled to the side, gripping the broom as hard as she could to prevent falling. To her surprise, she swung hard enough to come up on the other side of the broom. In shock, she looked at Jaguar, before promptly losing her grip and falling to the ground with an "Oomph!"

"Oh my God!" Lily shrieked. "I did it!"

Jaguar grinned proudly and gave Lily a thumbs up before swooping down to land next to her. She offered her cousin a hand and helped her off the ground. "Awesome," she replied. "We'll work on it more with Sirius tomorrow. But we have to get ready now." Sirius had been over almost every day of the past two weeks. It seemed that he and Jaguar didn't take well to being separated.

ily remembered suddenly that the Ministry Ball was to take place that very same evening. She had absolutely no idea what to expect. She had asked Sirius what it was all about, since everyone seemed to be frenzied over it.

He had looked at her, rolling his eyes as he spoke, "A bunch of old wizards and witches get together to brag about how rich they are, or how much they've done for the world, or how good looking their families are. It's a dreadful bore, but I _have _to go. My father is the Minister of Magic."

Lily really had no idea at all what a Minister of Magic was, but she assumed that Sirius' father was probably important. The Ball itself sounded like parties her father, Richard Evans, had held when she was young, in a way.

Jaguar led the way back into the main part of the house, this time not pausing to put her broom into the broom closet for storage. Lily didn't stop either, instead following her cousin into the hushed silence.

Nivea's house looked to Jaguar like an ancient Greek or Egyptian palace. It was all gold and ivory and marble. The hushed, dimly lit interior told the same story. The rooms were all high-ceilinged and spacious, with old treasures lining the walls. There were low couches everywhere, and plates of grapes and figs and wine drifted slowly from room to room, waiting for someone to snap his or her fingers to call them over.

As the girls walked, their footsteps echoed slightly on the shiny floor. Lily always felt like she shouldn't touch anything here. That everything was so incredibly expensive that it would break at the slightest abuse. It didn't feel like a home at all. But it was the most beautiful place Lily had ever been in.

Soon the girls emerged into the hallway where their bedrooms were located. Lily's came first, and she entered it, nodding farewell to Jaguar. Jaguar skipped away down the hall.

Closing the door behind her, Lily surveyed the room. It was more livable looking to her than most of the rest of the house. There was deep white carpet lining covering the floor. Floor to ceiling windows on the far side of the room, letting the sunlight stream in. Behind those doors, a large balcony stood, overlooking the woods that Nivea lived next to. The room may have been extremely huge, but it was so filled with stuff that it felt smaller. It was a good thing, because Lily found it hard to relax in big rooms. She always felt as though someone else was there, or someone was watching her.

Still, she felt a little odd accepting all of Nivea's gifts. Although from what she had seen of Nivea's extremely private life, the amount of money she had spent on Lily was far less than the worth of a muggle penny to her. Lily gazed around at the big screen TV that descended from the ceiling at the touch of a button, the large surround-sound stereo… It was completely overwhelming. She knew that she wasn't dreaming, but it sure felt like she was.

Turning on the stereo to Nivea's cd, Lily put those thoughts out of her head and focused on getting ready for the Ministry Ball instead. Nivea's voice filled her ears, and Lily swayed softly across the room. _Nivea is perfect…_

In her own room, which was right next to Lily's Jaguar was bouncing around the room to the beat of Madonna's music. It was a slow song, very inappropriate for bouncing, but Jaguar was excited. Unlike all of the other children she knew, Jaguar loved Ministry Balls. They were a chance for her to socialize with other children, and also a chance for her to see how magical life was for the adults. She would sit amongst them, absorbing their compliments, but not taking any of them personally. They said the same things to most people. She learned, through Ministry gatherings, and through her astute observations in everyday life, how adults behaved.

Jaguar's room was a bit smaller than Lily's but no less luxurious. She even had her own private bathroom with a very large bathtub and any type of bubbles she wanted. She bounced off in that direction to get cleaned up before getting dressed in her new grey dress.

The fabric of her dress was so soft it felt like a second skin. It flowed smoothly around her, and when she twirled, the fabric lifted and spun in a graceful circle. She had matching shoes to go with it. And she was going to wear makeup! She was very excited about that. Nivea had said that when she got home, she would do Lily's and Jaguar's hair and faces for them. They had all gone to the spa yesterday to get ready for the Ball. Jaguar's finger and toe nails matched her dress and shoes.

Lily's gown was the same shade of green that her eyes were. It reached the floor, but had short sleeves. It was tight, but not tight enough to make her look fat. It had a black scarf around the waist, so Lily's shoes were black to match.

In her outfit, she looked very young. The epitome of what a little girl should be.

**xx **

Sirius Black glared at Ari as she threw her arm over his shoulder. Danika stood in front of them, smiling mischievously in her little blue dress. She hated Ministry Balls as much as Sirius did, but was so good-natured that she realized it would end soon, and she could combat her boredom the next day. The three of them were posing for pictures, as their mother stood before them with a camera.

Ari was squawking something in his ear, but Sirius was trying very hard not to listen. "And oh my _Goddess_. I never like expected that at all. I was like so angry. But then I realized that the only reason he would like hang my underpants from the ceiling was because he likes me, so then I was happy again…"

Sirius wondered why his sister expected him to care what some boy was doing to her underpants.

Ari continued babbling. "How do I look, mother? Because I wasn't sure about this necklace. This gown is Christian-cut, and the necklace is a symbol of the Goddess. I guess it doesn't matter. Everyone thinks I look pretty no matter what I wear. So I guess maybe I am. Are we almost done? 'Cause I can't wait for the Ministry Ball to start! Oh, it's going to be _amazing. _I'm old enough to really appreciate it now!"

"That's great, Ari," Susan Black said. "But please close your mouth long enough for me to take a picture."

Ari made a face at her, and then shut up.

The siblings looked at the camera smiling, as it immortalized them on film.

_Ding-dong_. The four people in the room turned

"I'll get it," Ari said. "It might be Annabelle or Aaliyah. I told them to bring…" Ari's voice faded as she disappeared around the corner, and Sirius could only assume that she was still talking.

Susan shook her head, smiling.

"Wow," breathed Danika. "She's got a set of lungs on her!"

Sirius tried to keep a straight face, but ended up laughing at his little sister. Impulsively he bent down and hugged her. "Aw," said Susan, snapping several pictures.

"Oh," said Ari, as she opened the door. "It's you." She stood in the doorway for several moments looking Jaguar, Lily, and Nivea up and down. "You're early."

"Yes," said Nivea. "Now let us in."

Ari opened the door slightly wider and stepped back. "Come in."

The girl was dressed in a flowing yellow gown, and a gold tiara with yellow jewels set into it. She looked like a princess, despite the slight sneer on her face. She didn't like Lily; that much was obvious.

Jaguar and Lily found Sirius, and posed for several pictures with him, before escaping up to his bedroom. There, they sat on his bed, trying hard not to rumple their clothes.

"Is Remus coming?" Jaguar asked.

"I dunno. Prolly," said Sirius.

Remus' father worked for the Ministry, but his parents never made him come to the Ball. He always did anyhow, because it was a chance for him to be around his friends.

Jaguar nodded. "You know…" she said thoughtfully, biting on her thumbnail, careful not to chip the polish. "We have all that joke stuff, but no one to use it on…" She looked up at Sirius, and the gleam in her eyes matched the gleam in his. She leapt up, and began pacing the room.

"What do we have? Like, what can we use? And who can we use it on?"

Lily twisted her mouth to one side, thinking. "Will there be anyone you hate there?"

In unison, Jaguar and Sirius answered, "Yes."

**xx **

The Ballroom was a new addition to Sirius' house. Maybe not new, since it appeared for every Ministry Ball… But for the rest of the year, it was not there. Tables filled one side of the room. They were draped with white cloth that looked very expensive.

Nivea entered the ballroom with her sister Monica at the beginning of the Ball. Their names were announced, and they descended a long staircase, and took their places at the table with the people who had jobs of similar importance. There was a spattering of applause, but as there were not many people there yet, so it was not overpowering.

Jaguar and Katrine walked behind them, staring around at the beautiful room. Their names were not announced, since they were so young.

A man in tuxedo robes moved forward to escort Katrine and Jaguar to the children's room. Jag shook her head and sat between her mother and her aunt.

Turning her head between the two women, as they talked to the people around them, she could see the contrast between the sisters. Monica was more serious than Nivea was. Her dress, while extravagant, was not risqué in the least. Nivea, on the other hand, was not wearing much of a dress at all. It was low-cut in the front, and had no back. The neckline plunged nearly to her waist between her breasts, and the dress was so short that she could hardly decently sit down. As much as Jaguar admired Nivea, she did not admire the way her aunt dressed. Monica was more conservative than her younger sister, and it showed in the way she carried herself. While Nivea sat comfortably in her seat, moving her arms expressively, and laughing with her mouth wide open, leaning back and forth as was appropriate, Monica didn't laugh much, although she did smile with her mouth shut, and she hardly moved at all. It wasn't shyness, since she was always in the public eye, and had plenty of friends. But her and Nivea were really nothing at all alike. Monica had no wild side, and Nivea had no quiet side. They complimented each other.

Jaguar watched the French Minister of Magic and his family enter the room. His daughter did not seem to find anything beautiful about this room. Instead of staring around in wonder, she rubbed her nose as though she were sick, and followed the man in the tuxedo out of the room.

"Shit!" Jaguar swore.

Monica's head swiveled around like lightening. "Pardon?" she gasped.

Nivea looked over, laughing. She reached up to touch her sunglasses before realizing she wasn't wearing any. "Oh Christ, Mon. She just said shit. Pas de problem." Dejectedly, Nivea looked through her handbag for glasses, and looked defeated when she couldn't find any.

"Watch your mouth," Monica said, ignoring her younger sister. "And why don't you go play with the other children?"

"Because!" said Jaguar sternly.

"Why?"

"_Paris_ is here. I just saw her with Jezebel."

Now Nivea's head snapped back to stare at her. "No. _No._ Are you _positive_ you saw them?" She groaned. "Oghghhghgstdf," she said, making an impossible sound that had everyone around their table looking at her to make sure she wasn't choking. "But Jezebel doesn't work for the Ministry!"

"Eh," said Monica. "Her new husband does, I think."

"She's _married_? Wow," said Nivea. "It really never fails to astonish me."

"I _know_," her sister responded, leaning forward conspiratorially. "Really. What _do _men see in her?"

"Je ne sais pas," Nivea said.

"She must be easy," said Jaguar.

"Must be? Oh no… She definitely is easy," said Nivea. "I can scarcely believe she has only one child!"

Monica choked into her napkin.

Nivea looked at her sharply. "Hm?"

"I'm sorry," Monica Brazil replied, shaking her head. "You calling someone else easy was just too funny."

Nivea tried to look angry. Finally she gave up and giggled. "Ah. Touché." She seemed suddenly to realize that Jaguar was sitting there listening. "Run along, Jaggie."

Jaguar frowned and left the table. Around the corner of the ballroom, she ran into her friend Sirius.

"Siri!" she cried out joyously, before realizing that he looked very pissed off. "What is it, Siri?" she queried.

He glared at her. "Don't call me that!"

Jaguar looked after him as he stomped away. She was clearly upset, as Remus Lupin saw, as he walked out of the room Sirius had just emerged from.

"Don't pay him any mind," the sandy-haired boy said kindly. "He's not mad at you."

"He's a jerk!" said Jaguar. She and Sirius never fought or argued. She was on the verge of tears by now, clenching her fists. How dare he talk to her that way? She had always called him Siri, and she never said anything rude when he called her Jaggie, which was obviously a more hideous nickname. Jaguar was torn between running home and following Remus. When he said her name, Jaguar shrugged and followed him. Nothing would be gained by running home and crying, and she knew it. It would just ruin her hair, and make things difficult for Nivea when the Ball was over. Jaguar remembered that she wasn't even living at Brazil Manor for the summer. For some reason, that put her in an awful mood.

The children's room was full of kids of all ages, up until age 14 or 15, when most children got out of going to the Ball, snuck outside to the bushes, or mingled with the adults. Jaguar, staring around the room with narrowed eyes, noticed a couple of Ari's friends, although Ari herself was nowhere to be seen. If Jaguar knew her at all, she would bet that Ari was off snogging some guy in her bedroom upstairs, or out pretending that she was an adult and knew more than everyone.

Katrine and Danika were sitting next to each other at a table near the door, giggling as an older boy leaned against the table talking to him. Jaguar ignored Katrine's waves and followed Remus through the room. There were many children here who knew Jaguar, and a few that would be classmates at Hogwarts next year. She was not in the mood to be around them. Silently, Jag prayed that she wouldn't see Paris anywhere. Because if she did, she might not be able to hold her tongue. She was surprised that Sirius saying one mean thing could affect her so much.

Eventually Remus led her to James, who was sitting with his cousin Jasmine on the other side of the room. They had already nearly finished their meals as Jaguar and Remus took seats.

"Did you find Sirius?" Jasmine asked, laying her fork down on her plate before she spoke. "He seemed very upset when he left."

"He was," said Remus. "I didn't catch up to him, but look who I got instead!"

"Yay!" said Jasmine, smiling brightly. "It's Jaguar! Greet to see you again, Jag."

"Yeh," said Jaguar. She smiled slightly, realizing even as she did it that it looked more like a cringe.

Jasmine flipped her blonde hair back, and narrowed her sky blue eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," said Jaguar, sighing. "It's just… Sirius… He was really mad at me…"

James laughed, then shut up when he realized that Jaguar wasn't joking and Remus glared at him.

"No he's not, Jaguar," said Remus, looking at her. "He's mad at—Maybe he should tell you—I wish we could find him…"

Jasmine frowned, and all the light left her face. She was still lovely, but she looked very tragic. "I made him angry, Jaguar. Gosh, I'm sorry if you thought he was mad at you."

Jaguar tried to smile. "It's okay. But no matter who he's mad at, I don't know how he comes off snapping at me like that."

Jasmine and James exchanged glances. "Yeah…" said James slowly. "Come on. Let's go find our friend."

"I'd rather not," said Jaguar. "I want to stay here. I don't really want to see Sirius right now."

James and Remus looked at her sadly. "You know he didn't mean it," said Remus. "You _know _that."

Jaguar just looked down at her hands.

The boys stood up.

"Uh, you know," said Jas. "Maybe I ought to stay here too… Moral support for Jag." It was clear that she didn't want to see Sirius. James and Remus left the room to search for Sirius.

Jaguar had no appetite, but she ordered food anyhow, which she picked at while Jasmine talked about her father's plan to run for Minister of Magic in the next election. He was the Assistant Minister, but he had a lot of public support, apparently. Jaguar listened, not paying much attention, because she had never been interested in politics, although she was around politicians a lot of the time. Perhaps that's was why she was so disinterested. And of course, she was only ten years old, although she was very precocious at times.

"And you?" Jasmine finished, looking at Jaguar curiously.

Jaguar had to think for a moment in order to remember the question she had been asked. _I haven't had training yet, but I will. I'll find a cure to every incurable disease, both muggle and magical. I want nothing so much as I want to be a doctor. And you?_

"Oh," said Jaguar. "I don't know… Maybe I'll be a movie star."

Jasmine looked skeptical. "Well," she said after a moment. "If that's what you're _passionate_ about, then why not? I'm sure you have connections through Nivea."

Jaguar had forgotten why she never called Jasmine or wanted to hang out with her. She was never good at being a friend to other girls. With that thought, Jaguar wondered where Lily was, but that thought soon slipped out of her head. "I'm not passionate about that. I don't know yet, honestly. I love to sing more than anything. Even more than flying. But I do love flying. I think I want to be a Quidditch player, and sing in my free time."

"You know," said Jasmine, "you could do acrobatics on your broom as well. I've always thought that looked like a lot of fun."

Jaguar had never thought about that. She was good at doing broom tricks. But she did love Quidditch. She went to as many games as she could, and knew all the scores. She was not as obsessed as Sirius and James were though. Those two boys—

Upon the thought of Sirius, Jaguar's mood sunk again. Now she felt bad for not looking for him. And if she didn't see him again tonight, she wouldn't see him for another month, until September 1st.

"Have you met my cousin Lily?" asked Jaguar.

"The one with the black hair? Her name is Lily? Huh. It doesn't really fit her…"

"No," said Jaguar darkly. "Not _her_."

"Oh. Then I guess not. Not yet anyhow. Will she be at Hogwarts?"

Jag nodded. Jasmine was certain to be sorted into Hufflepuff, so at least she wouldn't have to listen to her long rants about medicine everyday. If Jaguar remembered correctly, Jasmine's older siblings were all in Hufflepuff.

The two girls talked for awhile longer before going out to the adult Ball for a few minutes. They chatted with Jasmine's older brothers Brian and Thomas. Brian was very nice, and really cute, in Jaguar's opinion.

**xx **

"_No, _Anna," said Ari, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "I will _not _ask him to dance!"

Annabelle grinned. "Of course you won't. I guess I'll have to ask for you then."

"No!" Ari screeched, catching the attention of the people nearby. "Anna, don't!" She reached out to grab her friend's sleeve, but the brunette was already dashing across the dance floor. Ari swore crudely, and pounded her fist on the table.

The girl she was sitting with giggled. "Aw," she said. "You _love_ Adonis!"

"Shut up." Ari picked up her butterbeer bottle and took a gulp out of it. "God. I _hate _Anna!"

Soon enough, Annabelle had returned, looking really upset.

"What?" Ari demanded. "What did he say?"

Annabelle shook her head. "Ari, I am _so _sorry."

"You're joking," said Ari, nearly having a heart attack. "Annabelle Selene Potter, you are a dead woman."

Annabelle grinned. "God, Ari. Chill. He said he'd ask you if he felt like it."

"I don't know what you see in that guy," said the girl next to Ari. She was a year younger than the two girls she was with. They only put up with her because everyone wanted to be friends with Ari. She drew people to her like moths to a light, and she could never figure out how to shake them off.

"Good." Ari stared at her. "You wouldn't have a chance with him anyhow."

The younger girl laughed, but Annabelle was silent, recognizing that Ari wasn't joking.

After the two older girls glared at her for a couple minutes in silence, she stood up and backed away. "I-uh-gotta go…" She turned and raced toward the door.

"Poor girl," said Annabelle.

"Poor? She's probably as rich as you are! She doesn't need to hang around me like a sick puppy. What a lesbian. Ooh!" Ari leaned closer to her best friend. "New rumour. Teresa is a lesbian. She eats muff and won't even _hold hands_ with a guy."

"Good one," said Annabelle. Then, "Oh my God. Don't look now!" Of course, Ari did. Adonis, her crush, was walking over to their table. Ari stifled a squeal.

"Oh crap! Is my hair okay? Do I have food on my face?"

"You look perfect as always," Annabelle whispered. "I'm going to get another drink," she announced, although her butterbeer was still full. Some of her friends were standing across the room, and she waved at them as she skirted around the edge of the dance floor.

"Hello Arizona," said Adonis, looking absolutely gorgeous as always.

"That's _not _my name!" she snapped, checking to make sure no one had heard. "My name is _Ari_. Period."

He laughed and looked down at her dress. "I hope you're not leaking."

Ari gaped at him for a moment, and then blushed. Adonis was the only person who had ever made her blush. "Why do you always tease me?" She demanded to know, glaring up at him.

"Because you think you're better than everyone else!" he said.

She opened her mouth to refute the statement. She shut it again. "I don't have to defend myself," she replied finally.

"Aha. Would you like to dance?"

"Yes," said Ari.

Adonis was a wonderful dancer, and Ari's years of ballet seemed to have paid off, as they glided around the floor, even while bickering.

"Just because I wear crowns does not mean that I think I am a princess."

"Ah yes… Did you go by the name Empress Ari last year?"

"That was a joke!" Ari yelled in his face. "Can't you just shut up and enjoy the dance?"

"Not while I'm dancing with you. You're the most annoying person I have ever met."

Ari stopped moving in the middle of the dance floor. It felt as though a weight had apparated into the center of her chest. Her eyes stung. _Oh no…I can't cry here!_ "Then why did you ask me to dance?"

"Your friend asked me to, and I have no problem with Annabelle. Plus, she promised to get her father's autograph for me."

Ari was nearly speechless. She was coming horribly close to having a hissy fit. "Oh." She said after a long silence.

"_God_, Ari," said Adonis. "I wouldn't have asked you to dance if I didn't want to dance with you, okay? Oh jeez… You're not crying, are you?"

With a start, Ari realized that her eyes were watering. She tried to say that there was smoke in the air, but a sob came out of her mouth instead. She wanted to spit on him, but she was not that vile. Instead she kneed him hard in the crotch and ran out of the room, as he fell to the floor behind her.

Across the room, Ari's friends, who had been watching, so excited to see that something was coming out of Ari's obsessive crush on Adonis, now looked on in astonished disappointment.

"Maybe we ought to help him..?" one of them suggested after a moment.

"Yeah…" another one said. "But what about Ari?"

"She won't want to be bothered. She's crying," said Annabelle, who now felt guilty.

The first girl who had spoken was already running across the dance floor to the boy. Ari paused in the doorway, her back to the room, and rubbed her eyes. "Adonis," she said, her voice strong enough to be heard from every part of the room. The adults even looked at her. "I can't believe I wasted even a moment of my time on you. I'm so glad I see you for who you finally are. You are slime. You have been demoted in my mind to the lowest order of human being. No. You are, in fact, a slug." With that, she whirled and walked away.

_Well, _she thought, _now I've really blown it._ Sometimes her mouth ran too much… It was a problem she needed to work on. Soon.

There were footsteps behind her, and Ari slowed, almost afraid to look back. She knew it couldn't be Adonis, but she couldn't help hoping. Finally she looked back. Nivea was standing in the doorway looking at her. Neither said anything, and finally Ari turned and walked away.

"You know," said Nivea, "if you ever need help with anything, I can help you."

Ari continued walking.

It wasn't that she didn't like Nivea. She just didn't like Nivea. Not much, anyhow. Nivea seemed to know too much about everything. And she was who Ari wanted to be. Admired, respected, adored. For Nivea, it was all so effortless. Ari had to work hard to get people to love her. No way was she going to accept help from _Nivea_ of all people.

**xx **

Jaguar realized suddenly that she hadn't seen Lily since the beginning of the party. She had come in early with Sirius, long before Jaguar had entered with Katrine, her aunt, and her mother. And Sirius had gone hours ago, presumably to bed, and neither Remus nor James had returned to the party.

If she didn't run into her cousin soon, she would have to figure out how to execute the prank on Jezebel all by herself. Of course, she could do it. But pranks were always more fun when your friends were involved.

Since Jaguar didn't trust Jasmine, she would have to lose her first.

It was easy. Jaguar simply got up and walked away, leaving Jasmine talking to a doctor who worked for the Ministry of Magic. His wand was emitting sparks randomly, which did not seem very professional to Jag, but then, what did she know about medicine?

"Jaguar!" someone called. It was Katrine. Jaguar grinned.

"Katrine!" she exclaimed. "How very glad I am to have run into you!" She embraced her sister.

Katrine looked at her suspiciously.

"Shoo," said Jaguar to Danika, who was standing behind Katrine.

Danika sneered and then stuck her tongue out at the older girl.

"Don't be mean," said Katrine, when her friend had walked away. "What do you want?"

"What do I—" Jaguar snorted. "So now I have to have an excuse to talk to my darling little sister?"

Katrine simply stared at her with her dark grey eyes.

"Have you seen Lily?" asked Jaguar.

Katrine nodded, distracted by a cart of sweets being wheeled past. "Yeh."

"Where? When?"

"Just a few minutes ago," said Katrine. "Someone was calling my name, and I looked 'round. It was both Paris _and _Lily. That's why Danika and me came out here."

Jaguar gasped, suddenly furious. "_Paris_," she sneered. "_I should have known._"

Katrine giggled. "She really isn't _that _bad."

"Paris is mentally ill."

"Well, there _is_ that," said Katrine smiling. "Can I go now?"

Jaguar had planned to ask her sister to help her with her prank. Now, however, she was so disheartened that she couldn't even imagine pulling a prank. She trudged out of Pleasantville and over to Brazil Manor, where she crept through the darkened mansion until she reached her bedroom. There, she laid down, feeling depressed for the first time in her life.

It was a new feeling, and very frightening. Jaguar Brazil had never felt so defeated in her life.

**xx **

In her room, Ari felt the same way. But she wasn't going to give up. She _would _win Adonis. She had to. No, you don't understand. She _had _to. She had removed her golden dress, and her tiara, and was lying down, staring up at the relaxing patterns that swirled across the ceiling.

_Well,_ she thought, _that was the worst Ball ever._ But it wasn't the end of her life. She'd just have to learn from this experience.

**xx **

The Ball was officially over at 1am, although people hung around for hours after the official ending. By the time Nivea was free to leave, it was well after 3am, and she was in no condition at all to drive.

Nivea stumbled into Katrine, who was heading up to Danika's room, where she would be spending the night.

"Oh, hello Katrine!" Nivea giggled, slurring her words slightly. "Where is Jaggie?"

Katrine looked at her, disgusted, and shrugged.

She tried to go around her aunt, but Nivea grabbed her shoulders. "What about Lily? They're off conspiratoring, aren't they?" She laughed raucously as though this were some huge joke. Katrine just looked extremely uncomfortable.

"I'm here," said Lily, yawning from behind Nivea. She waved goodbye to the girl that she had spent all night talking with. "Goodnight, Paris. See you on September 1st!"

Katrine pried herself away from Nivea. "Okay. Well see you both… Some other time." She retired.

"Are you drunk?" Lily asked, yawning again.

"Yes," said Nivea very seriously, before nearly collapsing into laughter.

"Oh. Then can you drive?"

"No," said Nivea looking sad. "I mean, I _can_, of course… That's like riding a broom. Bike. Ah, whatever. I just think I probably shouldn't."

"Where is Jaguar?" asked Lily.

"I don't know..." Nivea seemed tired. "I'm going to sleep at Brazil Manor… You can go ask if you can sleep with Sirius and the boys. Jag is probably with them. Or with Katrine and Danika… Or you can come with me."

"I'll stay here," said Lily. "Do you need help over to Jaguar's house?"

"Nope." Suddenly Nivea was no longer there.

The cleaning staff laughed at the astonished look on Lily's face.


	8. Never Alone

**A/N: **_You know, I would really appreciate a review or two. No matter what you think of the story. Just let me know it's being read. Please and thank you. _

**Jaguar Brazil**

** Never Alone**

Jaguar woke up in a horrible temper the next morning, and stomped around her house knocking things over, before she finally made enough noise to wake Monica up. Her mother made took her into the kitchen and cooked sausage for breakfast, while gulping down several cups of coffee. Jaguar sat on a stool next to the kitchen island and kicked the cupboards, creating a steady thumping sound.

Finally, Monica quit trying to ignore it, and raised her eyebrows at Jaguar until she stopped, sighing exasperatedly. "Bad night?" asked Monica.

Jaguar shook her head violently. "I don't know. Sirius was an arse. I overreacted."

"Watch your mouth!"

Jaguar made a face behind her mother's back, and slipped out the kitchen door while Monica's attention was elsewhere.

She entered Pleasantville without knocking, which created an awkward moment, as she had walked straight into what seemed like a huge argument between the Minister of Magic and his wife.

Apologizing and excusing herself, she ran out of the room and down a hallway, where she almost ran into Ari Black. Ari leapt out of her way, as she spoke to someone on what looked like a muggle telephone. "Goddess!" the girl swore. "What is your problem? Oh my Gah," she continued into the phone, "my brother's friends are _so_ weird!"

Jaguar didn't know what she was going to say to Sirius, but she knew she had to say something. She wasn't one to avoid her problems. Jaguar knocked quietly on this door, unsure of what she would find on the other side. She wasn't sure she had ever knocked on Sirius' door before.

Sirius, Remus, and Lily were sitting on the floor, playing some sort of board game. James had stood up to answer the door. All of them looked at her silently for a moment.

Then Sirius opened his mouth to speak. Jaguar glared at him, and he shut it again. "With friends like you guys, who needs enemies?" she spat, giving them a look of disgust, and leaving the room, slamming the door behind her.

It only took a few seconds for Remus to follow her. "Jag," he said.

"Remus."

"Look, I'm sorry. Last night was possibly the worst Ministry Ball ever," the boy said, brushing back his hair with one hand.

Jaguar tilted her head to one side, and narrowed her eyes. "You didn't like it?" she asked, in mock shock. "Why, I found it absolutely delightful! Especially the part when my friends abandoned me there! It was divine." She spun around, wondering if she sounded as much like Nivea as she had intended to.

Remus caught up to her again in the Susan Black's garden. "Jasmine was insulting Sirius' father," he said. "That's why Sirius was angry."

Jaguar shrugged. "Oh."

"Oh?"

"That's just an excuse, Remus. No reason for him to yell at me. And doesn't explain where you and James went. And stupid Lily spent all night with Paris Morgan, and now she has taken my place." She squeezed her eyes shut, looking slightly pained. When she opened them, there was not a trace of emotion on her face. "Ah, well."

"No one could ever take your place, stupid. You're _Jaguar._"

Jaguar's eyes widened in some form of horror. "So what! Now you've got Lily Evans. No reason for any of you to ever bother me again!"

With that, she stomped off into the woods in a huff.

"I suppose you feel bad about all that?" asked Nivea, setting her coffee cup down. The table shook as one of Sirius' parents threw something at the other. She glanced down the hall to where the fight was going on. "Well, don't. Jaguar doesn't _own_ her friends. And once she goes to school, I'm sure you'll all make plenty of new friends." Or so she hoped. If Jaguar ended up as Nivea had, Nivea didn't think she would be able to stand it!

Lily nodded heavily, looking down at her hands. She had apparently not washed her face recently, as there was makeup smeared across it.

"She doesn't blame it on you," said Nivea, as though reading Lily's mind. "She's blaming herself. I don't know why…" Nivea stood up, and placed her cup of coffee down. The table shook as one of Sirius' parents threw something at the other. She glanced down the hall to where the fight was going on. "I guess I should look for Jag."

"I'll go sit in the car," said Lily. She stomped out of the house, wearing a scowl.

Jaguar was too angry to speak to Nivea. She crossed her arms over her chest and refused to say anything at all. But when Nivea ordered her to go sit in the car, she went, dragging her feet. She supposed going back to Nivea's house was better than staying here, with Sirius next door.

Seeing Lily in the car, she loitered outside of it for several moments before climbing into the passenger seat and turning on the radio as loud as it would go.

When Nivea came outside several minutes later, leading Sirius and Remus, Jaguar looked terrified.

Lily looked at her curiously. "You okay?"

"Sure," snapped Jaguar, throwing Lily a sneer. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Lily shrugged and sat back in her seat. Sirius and Remus climbed in beside her, silently. Nivea sat down in the driver's seat, and switched the radio off. Jaguar moved to turn it back on, then decided that she hadn't cared about the music anyhow.

"So," said Nivea. "How is everyone?"

"I'm okay now," said Lily, quietly, when no one had responded for several seconds.

Remus nodded in agreement.

Nivea looked pointedly at both Sirius and Jaguar, and when both looked away, she said, "I'm uh… Worried."

"Worried?" whispered Jaguar. "There's nothing to be worried about."

"That's what you think!" Nivea laughed. "But I'm worried every moment of my life. Oh, Jaguar. I want you to be happy!"

"I…" Jaguar began, before trailing off and staring out the window. Tears were coming to her eyes again. She wished that she had sunglasses like Nivea did, to cover her tears. Instead, she put her head down on her arms and fell asleep.

Although the day was very hot, Sirius began shaking violently. Nivea, seeing this, rolled up the window next to him. He leaned his head against it, silently.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Even Nivea didn't say anything.

At her house, she got out and slammed her door shut, before vanishing. She literally disappeared into thin air. Lily stared in amazement.

Jaguar woke up, yawned, and looked behind her, at Sirius, who was climbing out through the back door. Narrowing her eyes, she ran past him into the house without looking back.

"Come on, you guys," said Lily after Jaguar had disappeared into the house. "I'll show you around."

Jaguar barricaded herself into her room for the rest of the day, although it was very hot. She didn't even have the energy to listen to music. She just lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling for hours and hours, until she fell asleep. Later, she woke up and took a shower, before sitting at her desk to write in her diary.

Someone knocked at her door. And although she didn't want to see anyone, and in fact wanted nothing more than to sink into the center of the earth until she burned away, she called out, "Who is it?"

"It's me," replied Remus' voice. "Can I come in?"

Jaguar frowned uncertainly before closing her diary and putting it away. She crossed the room and pulled the door open.

"What?" she asked, standing aside so that he could enter. She peered out into the hallway, and, seeing no one else, shut and locked the door again.

Remus seemed to be expecting her to speak. She glared at him for a minute before sitting on her bed heavily.

"How's Sirius?"

Remus looked away. "Bad. He won't come out of his room. And Lily is really angry. She doesn't want to talk to anyone either."

Jag pursed her lips and stared at the floor. "They're faking."

Remus shook his head. "Did you know he cried?"

Her mouth fell open. Then it shut again, and her wide, purple eyes stared at him in disbelief. "Oh my God." She shook her head gently. "Well… He deserves it." But her words were said with no conviction.

She and Remus sat up watching movies for the rest of the night, and Jaguar slept through the whole next day, after the boy had left.

When she woke up, and left her room, there was no one else in the house. Drifting into the kitchen (although she was not hungry at all), Jaguar discovered a note lying on the counter.

_Dear Jaggie,_

_I've taken Lily, Sirius and Remus to the cinema and out to eat. _

_-Niv_

"That's great," Jaguar said to herself. "Just great." Of course, she was excluded. And it was probably for no reason at all. Now that she wasn't friends with them, she couldn't even see a movie with her own aunt. But she _had _been sleeping… Not that it's impossible to wake people up.

In a sour mood, Jaguar walked into the Quidditch Room of the palace. It was enclosed, and the weather was warm all year round, independent of the outside weather. It surely had a ceiling, but you could fly higher and higher, straight toward it, and never hit it. Eventually the air started to feel thin, and you had to land. And the ground looked so far away that even the padding on the floor wouldn't be able to save you. It was very realistic. No one flew that high in Quidditch anyhow. Snitches never went that high. Nivea was only average at flying, so the Pitch had not been built for her. As she explained it, her boyfriend at the time had been a Quidditch player, and his hot Quidditch playing friends liked to come fly at her property, so she had the room built.

Jaguar grabbed a broom from the supply closet and kicked off the ground. Flying took all the negative thoughts from her head, and she flew for hours, until the sun had completely descended beyond the horizon, and the ground was so far below it would have been impossible to see any people who might have been standing there. When it was entirely dark, she drifted slowly to the ground, humming to herself.

Suddenly the front door slammed shut, and she realized that her aunt and ex-friends were home. Scowling, she ran off to her room and locked herself in again. Nivea knocked gently several times, but Jag pretended that she was asleep.

"We picked up food for you," her aunt whispered. "I'll leave it outside your door."

Jaguar ignored her. She spent the next several days in isolation, hearing her friends laughing together, and becoming more and more bitter. Why was she so angry anyhow? Stupid Lily, had to come along and ruin everything!

One day, she stood looking into her mirror. She had the gaunt, withdrawn look that her arch nemesis Paris Morgan always had. Her hair hung limp around her face, and her body looked thin, and fragile, as though it were continuously being racked by pain. Her eyes even looked empty.

"It's summer time, Jaguar Brazil. You ought to be happy!" She glared at her reflection sternly. She wasn't going to waste her summer feeling sorry for herself. She was intelligent enough to know that she really had nothing to be depressed about. So what if she wasn't speaking at all to Sirius? She knew she would make new friends as soon as she arrived at Hogwarts. Not like he was important to her or anything.

She hadn't eaten for days. It was easier not to when venturing to the kitchen might bring her into contact with another human being. Of course, she could have had a house elf bring her food, but she was too stubborn to bother.

She reached out and touched her reflection in the mirror sadly. _That's not me…_

As if on cue, someone knocked on her door. Jaguar cast her eyes toward it helplessly. There was no way she could open it and no sound would come out of her mouth save for a quiet gasp.

"Jaguar…" Someone said slowly. It was Sirius, she realized. She felt no anger toward him anymore. Just anger toward herself for being so damned stupid. "Please, can we talk?"

Tears escaped Jaguar's eyes as she struggled to respond. She wished she hadn't been so stubborn… Now all she wanted to do was eat and get some fresh air.

"Are you even in there?" Sirius asked a minute later. "No one's seen you around… Lily thinks you ran away, but Nivea thinks you're here."

"I'm here!" Jaguar yelled, but it warped in mouth and emerged as a whisper demanding more beer. "Sirius!"

He heard her somehow. "Jaguar!" he knocked on the door again. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head desperately. Her vision swam and the room spiraled around before crashing down onto her head. Before everything turned black, she heard Sirius calling for Nivea.

Jaguar opened her eyes. She obviously hadn't been out long. She was still wearing the same clothes as before, and her stomach still ached with hunger. As she stared up at the worried faces around her, they seemed to coalesce into one form.

"Drink this," said Nivea, holding out a bottle of potion. "Drink all of it."

Jaguar reached up feebly, but had to set her arms back down quickly.

"Drink it!" said Nivea. "I don't even know why I bother! What were you thinking? You did this to yourself!"

Angry and humiliated, Jaguar willed herself to grasp the bottle. She tilted it into her mouth and spewed fiery, red, viscous fluid over her chest. It seemed to be burning a hole through her throat. Nivea raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting.

Jaguar seemed to have a bit more strength now. She sat up a bit to prevent herself from choking as she took a gulp of the potion and struggled not to spit it all out. She swallowed it with a great deal of gagging. The rest of the potion was gone within ten minutes. No one had said a word that whole time.

Jaguar set the bottle on her bedside table and promptly fell asleep.

"What was in that?" asked Sirius, as he followed Nivea out the room. Remus was right behind him, and Lily shut the door gently as she left.

"In the potion? Oh, nothing much. Just something to make her sleep and have horrible nightmares. The hunger and fever were easily cured… The potion was unneeded."

The children gaped at her.

"You were torturing her for nothing!" exclaimed Remus.

Nivea looked at him as though he were a bug. "Not for nothing. She has to learn her lesson. What a drama queen. I really thought Jag was smarter than that."

Jaguar felt completely refreshed the next morning, but she still didn't feel comfortable leaving her room. It was protecting her from being judged. As much as she wanted to make up with Sirius, she knew that if she did, everyone would think she was weak-willed. She sat on her bed, gazing darkly around, afraid her nightmares were going to pop out of the closet or out from under the bed.

Nivea pounded on her door furiously. "Wake up!" she yelled. "Get up now!"

Jaguar leapt to her feet, knowing better than to ignore Nivea when she was in this sort of mood. She flung the door open, surprised that she was able to.

"Breakfast," said Nivea simply, before turning to walk away.

"I'm not hungry," whispered Jaguar half-heartedly.

Nivea let out a bitter laugh and turned around to grab Jaguar's hair. She yanked the yowling girl all the way to the kitchen before depositing her into a chair across the table from her former best friend.

Lily was standing at a counter, and when she saw Jaguar sit down, she smiled and set a heaping platter of food in front of her. Jaguar felt slightly nauseous as she forced some of it down. She refused to look up, because she was worried that if she did, Sirius might happen to be looking back at her. She didn't look over at Remus or Lily either. Nivea had (thankfully) vanished.

"Are you okay?" asked Remus gently, touching her arm.

She moved it away from him before nodding.

"You really scared us, Jaguar," Lily said from her other side.

Sirius just stared at her. She could feel his eyes boring a hole into her head.

"I'm fine!" she yelled, leaping to her feet. The chair she had been on skittered away before returning to the table on its own. Glaring around the table, she realized they thought she was crazy. Jaguar turned and fled the room.

She ran down the hall, crying as the open doors to rooms she had never seen before passed by. Finally, just when she thought she was lost, she tried to open a door, and emerged out into the bright sunshine. It surprised her and burnt her eyes. She lost her balance in her haste to get out of the house and sprawled on the grass. After a moment spent gasping for breath, she stood up and tore away across what looked like a large grassy meadow. She knew that if she could reach the forest, she would eventually make it back to Brazil Manor.

_I'm really overreacting now_, she thought_. Nivea is going to kill me._

Jaguar came within ten feet of the first trees. Then Nivea stepped out of the forest directly in front of her. Jaguar froze, getting chills. Nivea had never looked so beautiful. She was wearing some sort of thin white fabric, and had leaves stuck in her hair. She was wearing no makeup and no sunglasses. She just looked pure. Like an angel.

"What is wrong with you?" Nivea cried out in desperation. "Why are you doing this!"

Jaguar shook her head and turned around to run. Quicker than should have been possible, Nivea had grabbed Jaguar's shoulder, pulling her to a halt.

Jaguar cried out in pain as her aunt's nails dug into her skin.

"How did you find the door?" Nivea asked as though she had suddenly come to a realization. "Oh Jaguar!" she cried out, embracing her niece. "That's _wonderful_. We have to celebrate, eh? Just me and you. Come on!" And suddenly she was racing through the field, pausing to skip and spin and dance. Jaguar could either run into the forest now, or follow her aunt. The darkness of the forest seemed overwhelming, and after a moment, Jaguar was running away from it too.


	9. Out of Touch

**Jaguar Brazil**

**Out of Touch **

Jaguar had no idea what Nivea was so excited about. She'd seen Nivea happy before, but it was nothing like this. Every few seconds, she would positively_ beam _at Jaguar.

Nivea's idea of a treat was to take Jaguar to a muggle restaurant. That in itself was a bit of an adventure. However, Jaguar didn't take much of it in, as she spent a great deal of the meal pondering how they had ended up in the United States of _America. _

Jaguar had no idea how much time had passed since Nivea had grinned at her and grabbed her hand, and they had appeared in Seattle, Washington on the west coast of the United States.

It was mind boggling when she thought too hard about it. Despite living amongst wizards and witches for the entirety of her life, Jaguar had never seen much magic actually performed… And the magic she _had_ seen was normal things. Charms to turn lights on or off, or to move something out of the way. And of course, there was accidental magic that popped out when you got too mad, and always ended with someone being grounded for a long time. She supposed that it must be possible to jump across space… To a city thousands of miles away… It seemed like very difficult magic, especially since Nivea has uttered no spell and used no wand. Still, obviously it could be done, since it had been done. She really tried hard not to dwell on things like that. In fact, Jaguar had never seen Nivea use a wand in her life. And since she had given Jaguar her old one… Well, Nivea's job really didn't seem to have much to do with magic, did it? All she had to do was look good for a camera.

They had appeared inside of Nivea's car somehow, cruising down a highway toward downtown Seattle. The only way Jaguar recognized it was because she had been there before. Not for years and years, but the place was not altogether unfamiliar.

Remus Lupin had lived here. In fact, he had been born in America. Jaguar had originally met him on a trip with Monica to Seattle. She and Sirius had been put into a room with Remus, and they had been friends ever since.

The building Nivea drove up to was called the Space Needle. It was a building of average height, but of a very unusual shape. Jaguar had never seen it before, but now that she had been inside it, she knew that it was something she would never forget. The Space Needle, as Nivea said, was supposed to be the shape of a spaceship… Jaguar thought it looked very futuristic.

When they ascended in the high-speed elevator to the top, Jaguar clung to the glass side and peered out over the expansive city. Jaguar only knew what the attendant in the elevator told them… She let the words wash over her as she gazed out.

"The ascent to the top of the Space Needle will take approximately 40 seconds," the short blonde woman said in a pleasant voice, smiling around at all of them. She mentioned that Seattle had a relatively small population for being a major American city, but it covered a wide area. She pointed out some landmarks when Nivea whispered something that Jaguar didn't quite catch, and the woman noticed her accent.

"Where are you from?" she said.

"England," answered Nivea. "Seattle is much lovelier, I must say."

The woman practically preened. "I've been told that Seattle has one of the most beautiful skylines in the world."

"Oh yes," said Nivea. "I quite agree! Don't you, Jaguar?"

Jaguar nodded, a bit nervous and dry-mouthed because she had never been in such a tall building before, although other buildings nearby were even taller. The elevator stopped, and a few other passengers moved aside to let Jaguar and her aunt pass through.

The first shock Jaguar got was that the restaurant was _moving_. It was slowly spinning in a 360 degree circle to give eaters a full view of the city. Nivea caught hold of Jaguar's hand and led her to the reservations desk.

Disgruntled at the fakeness of Nivea's conversation with the elevator attendant, Jag followed along silently.

"Nivea!" a man exclaimed. "Let me show you to your table!"

Nivea smiled and kissed the man on his cheek. She had to stand on her tiptoes to do so, as the man was extraordinarily tall.

"Is this your girl? She's _beautiful_!"

Jaguar didn't like the way the man looked at her, so she scowled.

Nivea was silent for a moment. Then, "Oh! No no no," she laughed. "Jaguar is my sister's daughter!" She prodded Jaguar. "Say thank you!"

Jaguar frowned and mumbled something.

"_Jaguar?_ What an _unusual _name!"

Jaguar growled softly. She absolutely hated it when people made a remark about her name. The reason she went by Jag most of the time was because Jaguar was such an odd name… And her last name was _Brazil_, which made it even worse. Oftentimes, Jaguar had wondered what Monica had been thinking as she named Jaguar.

The man pulled out a chair for Nivea, while Jaguar pulled out her own chair across the table. A minute later, the man brought them menus as Jag stared out the window at the city. The rotation of the Space Needle was slow, so there was no danger of dizziness. It makes one full rotation around per hour. She took the menu wordlessly and stared at it. Yuck… Seafood…

Nivea orders a large coffee, and some sort of seafood platter. The food was semi-expensive (though not to Nivea), but not exceptional. The presentation was excellent, but it was a bit bland and overly spicy. Jaguar spent most of the meal quietly eating and sipping her rootbeer while Nivea talked on and on about herself (her favorite subject), and the time she had spent at Hogwarts.

"…Only I dropped out for awhile when I was 15… And when I returned for my 7th year, the other girls ostracized me and all of the males were madly in love with me… But no one really liked me. Susan and Monica had already graduated, and I just didn't fit in at all. I was the most popular girl in school. And also the least… I _hated _it there. So I dropped out again, and went straight into Auror School. I took my NEWTS, bien sur…."

Jaguar kept staring out the window. For inexplicable reasons, she felt _furious_ at her aunt. Nivea seemed to be waiting for something. Jaguar eventually turned to face her, and asked, "Why?"

Niv tilted her head to one side.

"Why did you drop out?" Jaguar asked, a bit irritated. "God… Who _drops out_?"

Niv chuckled good-naturedly. "You sound just like all of my friends and family. Monica was especially angry. She hardly talked to me for years… I mean, she _had _to see me… But she never wanted to."

"Why did you drop out?" Jaguar asked again.

Nivea's mouth opened delicately as though she were about to say something. Then it remained open as doubt flashed across her face. After nearly a minute, Nivea closed her mouth and smiled sadly.

"Someday I will tell you," Nivea answered.

"What did we need to celebrate?" Jaguar asked after a minute or two of silence.

"You," said Nivea simply. "Or isn't that enough?"

It wasn't enough, but Jaguar didn't press, since Nivea had put on a huge pair of black sunglasses, and seemed to be asleep.

During dessert, Nivea jolted awake, knocking a candle off the table. Immediately the carpet burst into flames.

"Oh no!" Nivea gasped, looking panicked. "I—um—Oh, God!" She wrung her hands together, and people gasped and began to notice.

Jaguar's mouth fell open. Thinking quickly, she poured the remainder of her soda over the flames, which extinguished. Nivea looked tense and horrified. She was looking back and forth as though she had no idea what to do.

Luckily, none of the waiters and waitresses came over, and Jag was free to question her aunt.

"What just happened?"

Nivea blinked several times, then shuddered violently. "I don't know… It was like I forgot to do magic for a moment…"

She spoke much too loudly, and still seemed very confused.

"I think you need some rest," said Jaguar.

Nivea nodded, and called for the check.

"Shall we go home now, or tomorrow?"

Jaguar immediately answered that they should spend the night in Seattle. Not because she wanted to sleep in America, but because she didn't especially feel like being spliched.

The man from the restaurant "helped" them down to Nivea's car. Jaguar found that she didn't trust the man at all.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck! _

Jaguar jerked her head toward Nivea, but her aunt wasn't saying anything. She was staring out the windshield.

"What?"

Nivea looked at her strangely. "What?"

Jaguar shook her head.

They stayed at some fancy muggle hotel.

"I don't much trust the magic folk here," said Nivea. "Not that _you _shouldn't…"

The next day was spent shopping, and they were back in Britain before nightfall.

It was strange, but around Nivea, Jaguar often found herself forgetting everything she wanted to ask…

xx

The rest of vacation passed quickly.

Jaguar wasn't speaking to Sirius still, although she talked to Lily once in awhile. Every time she saw him, her heart twanged just a little. She knew that she would never see him without that feeling. They had been friends for far too long. In a way, she would always love him, but that didn't mean that she liked him. Besides, she was practically a grown up! What use did she have for a best friend? Adults didn't have best friends! Of course, Jaguar conveniently "forgot" that Susan and Monica had been friends for life.

Too bad that they would probably be sorted into the same house… But Jaguar knew that as time went by, she would feel less and less sad. The way she had with Kestrel, her cat. Kess had been the best cat in the universe, and Jaguar had spent hours everyday talking to her. They had been born around the same time, so Jaguar had never imagined life without Kess. Even though even Sirius thought it was odd that she talked to her cat, Jaguar could have sworn that the cat replied to her, although the language they used was not English. Kestrel was one of Jaguar's best friends. Jaguar had loved that cat with all her heart.

One day, when Jaguar was 7 years old, Kestrel had been outside, when the neighborhood children had spooked her into the street. A muggle car full of teenagers came tearing through the neighborhood right at that moment, crushing Kestrel under the wheels.

Jaguar, who had been standing in her yard, saw it happen.

She screamed with more anguish than anyone who witnessed the event had ever heard or would ever hear again.

"Is that your kitty?" one of the teenagers, a heavyset girl with bad acne, asked.

Jaguar threw herself down beside Kestrel.

"Oh, Kess!" she has sobbed. "Don't die! _Please _don't die!"

But the cat wasn't moving. She whispered, _Jaggie… I'm sorry. I love you…"_

Jaguar moaned and stroked the cat's fur softly. "Kestrel… I love you too… What am I going to do without you? You're the best cat ever…"

_You'll find another cat… And you'll love it as much as you love…me…You'll see…_Kess' voice grew fainter, and Jaguar sobbed harder.

"No!" she yelled. "No! Oh Kestrel, I love you so much! Don't leave me! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!"

_I…can't…help it…_

"There are no cats like you! You were the best cat ever!"

_I…love…you…_

"KESTREL! No! NO! No… No, Kestrel. No, please… Don't leave me… Come back! COME BACK! COME BACK! I _need _you!"

_Goodbye…_

And she was gone. Just like that. Some stupid, irresponsible _children_ had stolen Jaguar's best friend from her.

She nearly exploded with fury, screaming at the teens, cursing them for life.

They tried to apologize, offering to bury Kestrel, and to buy her a new cat, but Jaguar didn't want a new cat. She wanted Kestrel, more than she had ever wanted anything before. She hated them all. She hated all people. She hated Monica for not being home, and Susan for not coming outside until it was too late to heal the cat. She even hated herself for letting Kestrel sit outside with her, and for not knowing magic.

She screamed so hard that the car exploded. Jaguar picked up her cat, and watched as one of the teenagers was devoured by the fire… Her loose magic had done that. She saw another have a heart attack.

Crying out to the Goddess, Jaguar pointed at the fat girl who was remaining, staring in shock at her friends, and at the small, dark haired girl who was holding her dead cat. For a moment, she wondered if the rumours were true and there really was a coven of witches living in the sinister looking mansion.

Then she forgot all about the mansion, as the girl seemed to glow… She looked like an angel as she drifted down the stairs.

"_You'll be sorry…_" Jaguar whispered. She suddenly opened in mouth and screamed in rage. "You are going to suffer the way that I am suffering. Go home, fat girl. You don't want to miss the funeral."

The girl looked panicked, and ran away as fast as her short legs would propel her. She glanced back at the burning car, and the dead friend lying beside it. She ran faster.

Susan Black had stopped, astonished. There was nothing she could do for the two dead teenagers. She could tell even from where she stood. And Jaguar didn't look…right… She apparated straight to the Ministry of Magic.

Jaguar saw, as though in a dream, the fat girl reaching her home, and finding her mother made into a pincushion by every sharp object in the house, her father's head roasting in the oven, while his body slept peacefully on his bed, her brother drowned in the swimming pool, and her little sister missing all of her limbs. The fat girl screamed and screamed and screamed. And when her voice ran out, she continued to scream silently, her facial muscles working. Tears streamed out of her eyes for a long time, but when they stopped falling, she continued to stand in her house, her hands on her cheeks, unable to concentrate on anything except _oh my God, they're all dead… THEY'RE ALL DEAD! _All the while, her mouth worked up and down, her eyes painfully wide.

Finally, she collapsed to the floor, and forced herself to grab the phone, which was horribly close to her mother's body. She couldn't force any words out. A choked sob escaped her throat, and then she was crying again.

The investigators who arrived at the macabre scene said that they had never seen a more gruesome crime. It made no sense at all, and would have been nearly impossible to carry out without a whole crew of criminals. The only surviving member of the family, a young girl named Sashi was adamant that one of the witches had killed them all. They wrote that off as being delusional.

The wizards who arrived at the scene to investigate knew at once that the murders had been done by magic. They also believed that a crew of people must have done it… Or they would have believed that… Except for the fact of the deaths that had taken place in front of Jaguar's house.

Nivea Cortez had arrived at the scene almost immediately. She insisted that the two deaths had been accidental, and definitely not caused by magic. No one believed her, until they surveyed the scene for themselves. It was just _too _suspicious. These deaths _had _to have been caused by magic. Everyone knew it! But the evidence testified to the opposite. The head of the investigation made a statement to reporters that Miss Cortez had altered the evidence to save her niece. The next day, he arrived at work to find out that he no longer had a job.

When Jaguar Brazil was questioned, she did not remember any of it. Under hypnosis she could reveal nothing. Even under vertiserum, she could only remember her kitty dying, then standing in her yard, holding Kestrel, shielding the cat from the world with her body, and screaming something at the fat teenage girl that was going to regret it or something, and running inside the house.

Although the inspectors were _very _suspicious of Jaguar Brazil and Nivea Cortez, there was nothing they could do with such evidence. Jaguar was never even arrested.

xx

Jaguar gasped and sat up in the middle of the night, clutching her chest, where her heart was pounding wildly. She had just remembered the full events of that day, so long ago now, when Kestrel had been murdered. Before, she had only a few dim memories of finding her cat in the middle of the street, and burying it later with Katrine. And though she did remember her interrogation, she had thought they were questioning her to find Kess' killer.

But where had these memories come from? And Jaguar _knew _she had killed the fat girl. Sashi..? How had she known the fat girl's name? Jaguar didn't dwell on that question as she leapt out of bed, full of energy. She paced back and forth several times, her mind racing faster than she had ever thought before. Maybe the memories had been dislodged from their hiding places in her mind during that trip to Seattle… She had come across old memories and now…

_I killed her. Them! I killed all three of them. I am a murderer. They killed Kestrel, and I killed them. And the fat girl's whole family! But why didn't I remember any of it? And why was my memory different when they gave me truth serum? _

The answer came to her, like a whisper on the wind, and the hairs on the back of Jaguar's neck stood up.

_Nivea._

Jaguar didn't want to believe it, but it had to be true. Who else could it be? Who else did everyone listen to?

_Okay, so… Nivea altered my memory, but not the memories of the investigators or the fat girl… Maybe they got to her too quickly, or maybe Nivea couldn't enchant them all at once… I dunno… I'll think about that later… But she altered my memory, but not too well, obviously. Why? Why would she do that? _

Again, an easy answer. No one wants their niece to be condemned as a killer.

_Yeah… That makes sense… She wouldn't have wanted me arrested… But still, why wouldn't she be angry with me? _

Jaguar remembered Aunt Nivea taking her out for ice cream after questioning.

_I killed 7 people, and Nivea takes me out for a treat… _

Her head seemed to be spinning. She wasn't surprised. Somewhere deep in her heart, she supposed that she had always known that she was a killer. Her brain had forgotten, but her heart had always had a slight heaviness that she had never even noticed until now. That weight was lifted now.

_How did I do it? I wasn't anywhere near the fat girl's house, and I never touched any of them. _

_Magic. Well, duh. _

Jaguar was astounded at her magical powers. There were no adult wizards who could kill people the way she had, even at close range. At least, there were none that she knew of. That was another motive Nivea might have used… If anyone had realized that Jaguar had done all of that damage with loose, unconscious magic, who knows what the Ministry might have done?

Despite the fact that Sirius' father ran the entire Ministry, and Jaguar's mother was head of the most important department, Jaguar had been raised to be very wary of the Ministry of Magic. In the past, and especially during the reigns of various dark witches and wizards who seized power, and during World War II, many horrendous experiments had taken place in the Ministry building. Children were experimented on, to figure out what exactly made them magical, and to figure out the division of power between twins and triplets, and the different races. Jaguar only knew basic information about those periods, because most books about them had been destroyed, and the ones that still existed were entirely forbidden for someone her age, even if she had somehow been able to find them. Monica had books, of course… Their mansion had a full library. But none of the books were very interesting, and a great many of them were muggle-written.

_She didn't want me to be experimented on…_

Although the experiments on human beings and other animals had officially ended, as far as the public knew, they still carried on inside the Ministry, under other titles… Experimental Medication was one of these. Nivea would have known that Jaguar might be taken if the magic that had been released had proven to be hers. And even her authority, and that of Sirius' father, who would have defended Jaguar as well, and Monica, who ran the department that ran these tests, could not have prevented it. Jaguar was Nivea's niece, and among adult wizards, this was a very significant thing, although Jaguar had never been sure why that was.

Pacing faster and faster, Jaguar spun too fast and twisted her ankle, causing herself to fall to her knees. Panting loudly, she stared at the floor, trying to remember what she should be feeling.

She had just realized that she was a serial killer… She should feel guilt, or remorse, or regret… Shouldn't she? Or was she so merciless that she could forget about her crimes completely or not feel bad at all?

It seemed that the latter applied to her. She didn't feel bad at all. She remembered the rush of anger, but she hadn't killed on purpose, no matter how much she had wanted the fat girl dead. Now, her recalled memories were more like a movie she was watching. As though none of it was real enough to waste any emotion on.

She had to keep reminding herself: seven people were dead, and it was her fault.

The worst part about it was that she kept thinking, _wow! I killed seven people. How incredible is that!_ She couldn't prevent a smile from spreading across her face. Soon, the smile grew wider and wider until she was grinning from ear to ear. And then the laughing started. Just a small chuckle at first, which increased to heavy giggling, and then she collapsed on her face laughing loudly.

Finally, when her belly ached, and her voice had nearly vanished, she lifted her head from the floor, looking straight out through the balcony door. The moon was nearly full, and shining brightly over the land. She gasped, horrified.

The Goddess was watching her delight in her sin. But what else could she do? She'd had enough depression to last her a lifetime. There was no point in regret, especially over something she'd never had any control over in the first place.

And then it hit her.

The Goddess must have been controlling her. Jaguar blinked several times. The Goddess had decided that Jaguar Brazil was special enough to use for her work on earth. It was the greatest honor a mortal could ever hope to receive. Breathless, Jaguar bowed her head to the floor again, and whispered a prayer to the Goddess, before leaping up and running down the hallways until she reached Nivea's bedroom.

It was evident to Jaguar after she had pounded several times on the door that Nivea was not in her room.

Slightly detoured, but still completely exhilarated, Jaguar pushed the door open and peered around the threshold. She had never been in Nivea's room before, and for some reason she was nervous as she stepped into it. It was very cool. At least 20 or 30 degrees colder than the rest of the house. It had a restless feeling to it, as though it were the sort of room where you could lay in bed all night and never fall asleep. But more than that, it had a familiar feeling… Like the sort of place that always felt like home, no matter how cold and twitchy it was.

But it was obvious that no one had been in this room for a very long time. Jag couldn't have explained why, but this room seemed left behind, isolated from the rest of the house. And the rest of Nivea's life. Maybe that was why she had been forbidden to ever enter it.

Moonlight shone brightly through the windows, revealing several doors in the walls, but Jaguar went no further. Nivea wasn't there, and that was all that mattered. If it had been daylight, she might have explored more, but she was eager to tell Nivea about her memory. She had the strangest feeling that it might be extremely important. She was also filled with questions.

After racing through the mansion, at such a speed that it seemed as though the world were humming at a higher pitched frequency, Jaguar finally reached the Quidditch Room without seeing her aunt.

She was searing with the need to move. The urge to run was nearly overtaking her, and since she was closer to the broom closet, she grabbed one, and leapt onto it. Her senses were strangely heightened. She soared through the sky, closer and closer to the moon, her Goddess, who seemed to be staring at her.

She changed her position slightly so that she was headed straight up into the sky. She sped up, going faster and faster, so that soon she was flying faster than she had ever flown before. The moon grew in her sight, which was slightly impeded, but amplified in a way she couldn't explain by the tears pressed out by the force of the wind. Her breathing quickened as she was forced to take in more oxygen from the thin air. And then she was flying so fast that she couldn't breathe at all.

Throughout her entire flight, she had been screaming in delight, and pure happiness. Now her voice died out, as her vision collapsed in, and she seemed to fall into a black tunnel. The only thing she felt was the rush of air past her eardrums as she plummeted.

The broom took a wide swoop toward the earth, with the unconscious girl as a passenger. The ground was a very long way away, and the descent took several minutes. The broom sped up considerably as it approached the ground.

Jaguar jolted awake suddenly, as she neared the ground. Still 300 feet above the ground, she realized that she could no longer hold on; her limbs were slack and useless, and her reflexes were dulled. She knew that she was flying, and that she was on a broom, but it seemed that she had forgotten why she was there, and how to fly at all.

Panicking, Jaguar pressed her chest onto the broom, concentrating on moving her arms. The broom was headed nearly straight toward the ground, and Jaguar realized that she could no longer hold on.

With 50 feet left, the broom slid away from her, leaving her freefalling with a sick feeling in her stomach. It continued to fall, while Jaguar's fall seemed slightly slower. She barely had time to scream before hitting the ground with a loud thud. The breath was knocked completely out of her body, and she stared at the sky far above. The Goddess had never seemed so close. She wondered if she was dying… Every colour seemed to be twice as bright as usual. Gasping for breath, the stars reeled around her head.

And then someone was there, saying her name. But it was as though the voice came from far away. It was trembling, maybe even crying. Jaguar was delirious, and couldn't understand much. Her body felt completely limp, her adrenaline rush gone. Peacefully, she allowed herself to float on the voice.

Then someone was shaking her gently, and a drop of wetness hit Jaguar's shoulder. She focused her vision on the person sitting next to her.

_Sirius._

She had known it initially, she supposed.

Slowly, she lifted her head, coughing a bit. Maybe she had a concussion; her head was killing her.

"Siri…" she murmured. "I'm sorry. I'm _so _sorry. I love you. Don't hate me."

He moved so that her head fell back down in his lap. "Oh, God, Jaguar… Oh, Christ. Don't die, Jaggie. Oh _fuck_. Lily! _Lily!_"

Jaguar struggled to say something. Anything. Her mouth wouldn't move, and she seemed to be passing in and out of consciousness. This moment felt important, but she couldn't concentrate on it. She seemed to be moving faster than the rest of the world.

He looked down at her, his features etched with worry. "Do you know where Nivea is?"

She struggled to keep her eyes open. The stars, so far above, were streaming into a river of red and falling down onto her. Her mouth fell open slightly, and she tasted metal.

Sirius seemed to be moving all over, even though she could feel his knees under her neck, and knew that he actually wasn't moving at all. His energy seemed to be exploding from him in odd bursts.

"Damn it!" he swore. "Are you okay? You don't look so good… We heard you screaming, and ran out here… But what happened? You _never _fall! Jaggie… Jag! Wake up, Jaguar! I'm going to call your mother. Or—or my mother. Or anyone's! Shit… You don't look good at all…"

Jaguar felt her head hit the ground gently, and coughed again, choking on blood.

"Oh, damn!" Sirius exclaimed. He seemed torn between turning her over, or leaving her still. He made his decision and took off running, yelling back, "Don't die, Jaggie!"

"I'm okay…" she whispered slowly. And she was. She was in extreme pain, especially because of her head. None of her limbs were under her control at all. She couldn't make them move, or stop moving when they began twitching. That didn't matter, because she felt like the Goddess was inside of her body. And if that was true, then she was protected. She choked on her blood, coughing some up feebly.

All of her memories seemed crystal clear, and she began to wonder if this night was really a dream. What could have prompted all of her memories to come back at once, so vividly, as though she had never forgotten them at all?

She wanted to talk to Nivea. But Nivea was gone… Nivea was always vanishing, and Jaguar ought to have been used to it, but she still felt slightly broken to realize that her aunt was gone, and she might be dying.

Yes, the Goddess _was _protecting her, but something was still wrong with her head. Her vision was all wrong, and her hearing was off, and her taste buds seemed to tingle, while her sense of smell was more vibrant than ever. She could feel every blade of grass against her skin. It was uncomfortable, while at the same time being a very familiar sensation she had simply never noticed before.

She sensed Sirius coming before she saw or heard him. She could feel a change in vibrations through the house. Someone was with him, but she was either fast asleep, or had passed out by the time the two people arrived at her side.


	10. The Hogwarts Express

**Jaguar Brazil**

**The Hogwarts Express **

Nivea cursed herself as she reached Jaguar's prone body. She'd been off in the woods again, and hadn't hear Sirius and Lily searching for her. Now Jaguar didn't seem to be alive, and the two children were completely freaking out. Lily was crying her eyes out on the ground nearby, and Sirius was running back and forth mumbling something to himself. Nivea stared at her niece's body, watching the blood run out of Jaguar's mouth and nose, and murmured an old Latin-sounding word. Time froze.

Nivea grasped Jaguar's still warm hand, and slipped her consciousness into it. Normally, she would have taken her to the hospital, but there was no time for that. Nivea wasn't particularly adept at healing, but by entering the girl's body, she might be able to buy enough time to get her to St. Mungo's.

Jaguar had been fading quickly when Nivea had arrived. Her last thoughts were of bleeding stars, and of Sirius Black. Nivea tried to keep out of Jaguar's thoughts. Mind reading was an invasion of privacy, and took more energy than Nivea could afford to spend on it, seeing as how she was trying to bring Jaguar back from the brink of death. She sensed, however, feelings of confusion towards her, and had to keep from rifling through those thoughts a bit.

The girl was suffocating on her own blood, and the first thing Nivea did was clear her airways. She set Jaguar's broken arm and ribs to healing on their own, and began the difficult task of mending Jaguar's broken skull. Luckily, she was able to, although it took a lot of her energy. Now she had to bring Jaguar's escaping soul back. It didn't seem to want to return to its body. But Nivea was more alive, and more powerful, and she forced it in. Now she filled Jaguar with happy thoughts, and time started again.

To Sirius and Lily, it appeared that Nivea had simply passed out on the ground next to Jaguar.

Lily gave a loud gasp and began to move toward them, when Jaguar sat up, gasping for air.

"Jag!" she and Sirius exclaimed at the same time.

The girl looked at them strangely, then down at herself. "Oh. Oops," she said, laying back down. A moment later, Nivea sat up, and brushed her clothes off.

"Oh no," she said. "Grass stains."

Smiling at the children, Nivea said waved her hand at Jaguar, who's body floated off the ground, and into the house.

"What just happened?" Lily asked Sirius in shock. The two stood and watched Nivea stumble away from them. "D'you think Nivea's drunk?"

Sirius shook his head, eyes wide. "I don't know. I thought Jaguar was a goner…" He gulped. "I'm so glad Nivea was here."

xx

The next morning, Jaguar woke up, smiling brightly, in her bed. It had all been a dream. Then she stretched and realized that there was a large bandage taped to the back of her head, and that the edges of things gleamed slightly, and that sounds seemed to vibrate a bit more… And she realized that it had all been real.

How was the possible? She had killed people, then fallen off a broom… What had she been on?

For some reason, that question struck her as funny, and she giggled helplessly. Maybe Nivea was still screwing with her brain.

Sirius sat up from where he had been lying on the floor and studied her carefully. "Are you okay?"

In response, she leapt off the side of her bed with a loud shriek, tackling him to the floor.

"Oh, Sirius!" she cried into his neck as he patted her back awkwardly and tried to keep away from her bad breath. "You saved my life! I might have died if you hadn't been there!"

He laughed and pushed her away. "Yeah… It was lucky. But are you alright now?"

Jaguar took a moment to evaluate herself. "I think so," she said. "But I'm not sure what caused me to go so odd last night. And everything is different."

"Different?"

"Clearer… Brighter… Like my senses have all gotten stronger."

"Weird," said Sirius. "Well, you did hit your head pretty hard."

Jaguar remember laying on the ground. Stars. There had been a lot of stars. "I thought I was going to die."

Sirius looked at the floor. "Yeah… We thought you were dead for a moment."

"Oh, Sirius," she said, hugging him again. "Oh, Siri…"

There was nothing else to say.

xx

Jaguar stood in front of Nivea's house on September 1st, wearing white flared jeans and a jacket, although she wished that she could be wearing her school uniform. As she waited, she crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot exasperatedly.

Sighing several times, she began bouncing up and down. Slowly at first, then faster and faster, she continued this until Nivea, who had been quietly observing from the porch finally stepped forward and grasped her arm.

"You cut that out!" Nivea said, quite sternly, although since Jaguar's fall, she had been rethinking her harsh treatment of the girl. Sometimes it was hard to remember that Jaguar was just a little girl, no matter how mature she acted. So she knew that Jaguar wouldn't understand her if she tried to explain how everything she did was out of love, not anger or hate. That sort of thing would have to wait until Jaguar was older. And suddenly Nivea wanted Jaguar to grow up, and mature, and become an equal. They were so alike. Was it too far-fetched to think that someday they might be friends? But at the same time, the only Jaguar she had ever known was the headstrong girl that that glared up at her in consternation at the moment. She would have given anything to have this moment forever. But it would end all too soon. Her childhood would be over as soon as she stepped onto the Hogwarts Express later that morning. Her innocence would begin to fade. Nivea wished that she could warn the girl, but she knew that it would be futile. Giving into a sudden rush of emotion, Nivea swept the girl into an embrace.

Surprised, Jaguar froze for a moment, then, frowning slightly returned the embrace. "Aunt Nivea," she whispered, "hugging you is wonderful and all, but please tell them to hurry up!"

Drawing back, Nivea rolled her eyes, before lowering a pair of bright red sunglasses over them. She said, "We have plenty of time, Jaggie. We don't have to be at King's Cross Station until nine."

It was just after 5 in the morning, and Sirius and Lily were preparing to go off to school still. The only reason they were awake so early was that Jaguar had arisen in a panic at 3 am, certain that they had missed the train. Thinking of that, Nivea added, "If you miss the train, I'll simply call it back."

Now it was Jaguar's turn to roll her eyes. How would her first day of school look if her aunt had to bring the train back into the station just for her and her friends?

She was just excited. She couldn't stop the buzzing that had started in her head and spread to every other part of her body until she was vibrating. Last night she had been so full of anticipation that she had been unable to sleep for hours, until she had finally dozed about 20 minutes before waking up, convinced that she had missed the train and would never become a witch. She'd been waking up like that since she had fallen. Her senses had more or less gone back to normal, but sometimes in the middle of the night, she felt more powerful.

Thankfully, she wasn't late, but she definitely was not going to chance going back to sleep. Instead, she had bathed, and then rushed to wake everyone else up. Nivea had been annoyed slightly at first, but smiled warmly at Jaguar.

Jag couldn't wait to see her friends, and to make new friends. She was a people person. They tended to flock to her. She had heard that she gave good advice. And coming from Sirius' sister Ari, that was quite the compliment.

Still impatient, Jaguar finally threw her hands into the air, crying, "_Why me!_" before stomping up the porch steps and marching into the mansion. Passing a house elf lugging a trunk, Jaguar entered the foyer, and looked through a door into one of the living rooms. A glance told her there was no one inside.

"Siri! Lily!" Jaguar yelled at the top of her voice. "HURRY UP!" A bird squawked somewhere nearby, and the girl continued in that direction.

In the spacious kitchen, Lily and Sirius were digging through the cupboards for sweets, which Nivea had hid from them on the highest shelves. Really, she didn't have to hide them, since her house was so big, they could be set on a table somewhere and remain undiscovered for years. Besides, the hiding place was quite obvious.

Hearing Jaguar's call, Lily had turned and shouted out their location, before comforting the startled owl.

"What are you two _doing_?" She asked in what sounded like a horror-stricken voice. Hands planted on her hips, and eyes narrowed, she looked like a disappointed mother.

Sheepishly, Sirius and Lily glanced at each other, before the boy replied, "Looking for candy. Why are you in such a hurry anyway?"

"They sell candy on the train," replied Jaguar, ignoring his question deliberately.

"We know _that_," said Lily, matter-of-factly, rolling her eyes. "But then you have to pay."

"_Are you seri—Oh my…" _Jaguar spluttered as she came close to losing her temper entirely. "It's CANDY! It doesn't hardly cost anything!"

Lily looked slight put off, but Sirius continued his rummaging without notice.

"Oh fine then!" Jaguar exclaimed. "Top shelf of the top cupboard above the sink!"

After Sirius had climbed up to the candy, she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him all the way to the car, which Nivea was now sitting on top of. As she saw the children, Nivea snapped her cellular phone shut and smiled at them. "Does everyone have everything?"

Since they arrived in London extremely early for the train, Nivea bought them all breakfast at the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley.

As Nivea didn't eat much normally, she ordered only coffee. Lily ordered tea and a croissant. Sirius ordered French toast, and Jag ordered sausages and root beer. They each pretended to listen to Nivea talking as they picked at their meals.

Soon, the restaurant became filled with other Hogwarts students, including Ari and Annabelle, who were alone, with no luggage. "Hullo Nivea," said Ari, dropping her American accent for the two words. "We'll be needing a ride back to the station?"

Since none of the new first year students were talking and all three looked a bit pale, Ari teased them with horror stories about the school.

"—and you must _never _run up the stairs, Lily, because they will shift under you and break your ankles. Speaking of ankles, Sirius, _never_ be late to class…"

Lily, Sirius, and Jaguar were for the most part silent, which prompted Nivea to exclaim loudly that something was wrong with them and try to take their temperatures. They were each lost in private thoughts. Sirius ignored his food, but drank a lot of juice. Lily took one bite out of her pastry, and then settled on sipping her tea. Jaguar cut her sausages into infinitesimal bits, put one into her mouth, and then spit it into her napkin in what she thought was a discreet manner. When she looked up, however, Ari and Annabelle were looking at her in unconcealed disgust.

Finally, the group made it to the station. They had to drag their trunks and pets all the way to platform 9 ¾, which did not technically exist.

"Why are there so many people with owls?" Jag heard one elderly woman inquire.

Jaguar caught Sirius' eye, and they grinned.

As soon as Nivea had entered the station, she had been mobbed by 20 or so witches and wizards Jaguar assumed were reporters. They snapped pictures rapidly, and fired questions at the woman.

The children knew well enough to keep out of the way. Even Ari knew better than to talk to these reporters. Credible ones did not hang around waiting for celebrities so that they could jump out of a bush and startle answers out of them.

Nivea answered their questions with a practiced ease. Lily, who had not immediately scurried out of the way, but was doing a good job at ignoring questions aimed at her, listened.

"Miss Cortez, have you increased the security on your estate lately?"

Nivea studied the man who had asked the question, while she continued to walk, not even pausing. "Is there a particular reason that I would? I have nothing to be afraid of, do I?"

"What will you do if the situation comes to extremes?" a middle aged woman asked.

"Aren't you jumping the gun a bit?" Nivea replied. "We'll see if it happens. But I'll tell you this—whatever happens, the media will be the last to know." Then she laughed.

"Isn't it true, Miss Cortez, that as Revealer, you are able to see the future? And if so, don't you know _if _it will happen at least?"

At this, Nivea grinned, though it was not necessarily a happy grin. She looked at Lily, rolled her eyes, and shook her head so that her sunglasses slid forward to cover her grey eyes.

"You hear this, Lils? These questions!" Then, turning to the reporters and stopping, she told them, "First of all, it does not work like that. That's like asking something like, 'As a reporter, do you own a pen?' Quite stupid, and a bit rude. And second of all, yes, I do know IF it will happen. But there is no way in hell I would ever tell you. Ciao."

As they walked on, Nivea looked at Lily, and said indulgently, "I'll be on the cover of the Prophet tomorrow, just you wait."

Lily didn't doubt that, although she had no real idea what the conversation between Nivea and the reporters had been about.

Lily's first trip through the brick wall went smoothly despite the fact that she expected to wake up in a mental hospital with a concussion and some busted out teeth.

To Jaguar's surprise and pleasure, her sister Katrine was waiting at the station to see her off. Monica was nowhere to be seen. Jaguar shrugged, although it felt like a stab somewhere in her heart to realize that her mother didn't want to see her off, after having spent no time at all with her during the summer.

Katrine stared around in jealousy, whispering to her friend Danika.

Turning to say something to Lily, Jaguar heard someone call her name. "James!" she yelled, turning to the boy who was stepping off the train. "Have you got us seats?"

"Yes," said Remus, hopping out behind him. "Compartment number 9."

They pulled their luggage onto the train as Ari and Annabelle were joined by a giggling group of girls.

"Malfoy," Jaguar said coldly as they passed a group of children, some of whom Lily recognized from the Ministry Ball. "Snape. Ice."

"Why not just ignore them?" asked James loudly.

"Because," Jaguar replied. "Then I would be as rude as them." She flashed them a toothy smile over her shoulder. Then she said, "I'll die if I end up in the same house as any of them."

They walked back outside to get their pets from Katrine and Danika, who had been watching them. They were still discussing the house system at Hogwarts when Jaguar suddenly froze.

"Oh no!" she whispered, paralyzed. "James! She doesn't know you. Go tell Katrine to bring the animals onto the train."

Her friends all looked around at her. They had no idea what Jaguar was talking about. Finally she cringed and nodded her head a bit in Nivea's direction.

They all looked toward Nivea, who was chatting amiably with a tall woman who had long, greying, black hair, and who was wearing tall silver high heeled shoes, with very expensive matching robes. She looked a bit like a robot. Nivea's tense body language showed her intense dislike of the woman, although she would have looked happy enough to anyone who did not know her well.

Jaguar wasn't looking at Nivea, however. Her attention was focused on a girl her age with black ringlets of hair falling just past her shoulders. Sighting Jaguar, the girl pulled on her mother's sleeves a bit to get her attention, then glided toward the group of children.

"No!" Jag and Sirius gasped in unison. Remus and James looked extremely uncomfortable, and looked around a bit for hiding places.

Lily smiled broadly. "Hi Paris!" she exclaimed, and the same time Jaguar yelled out, "Paris! Long time no see!"

Lily glanced over at Jaguar, to see the dark haired girl glaring daggers at her. It was chilling how murderous Jaguar could look when she was angry.

"I must agree," the girl replied happily, throwing her arms around Jaguar, who looked absolutely horrified, and stiffened.

"Well," Paris continued, "aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" She grinned at all of them. Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, but she seemed delighted to have them all staring at her as though she had three heads. "Hmmm? Of course, I recognize Lila. I met her at the Ball."

Jaguar stared at Paris with a face that seemed to indicate that she was trying very hard not to breathe. Her grin seemed frozen on her face. "_Lily_ Evans, James Potter, Remus Lupin, this is Paris Morgan. Sirius, you've met her…"

Paris seemed to have lost interest in them. "So, Jaguar. How was your summer? Mine was fantastical! I was soooo disappointed when you said you wouldn't be coming over at all."

Jaguar coughed. "Oh! I was busy…"

There was a pause. It had almost reached a length where it would be considered awkward when Katrine called out, "Jaguar! Your animals!"

Eagerly, Jaguar practically ran over to her sister, making a big show of hugging her goodbye. What she was really doing was whispering, "I thought she was going to Beauxbatons!"

"I know," Katrine whispered back. "So did I. Look—Niv didn't even know!"

To the other four children, Paris asked, "What compartment are you in? I'll be off now, but perhaps I shall pop in for a visit."

"Nine," Lily replied slowly. This girl was much different from the girl she had talked to at the Ministry Ball.

"Thanks, Lila," Paris said, smiling.

"Don't worry if you can't make it," Sirius muttered under his breath.

Paris, walking away, whirled around, narrowing her eyes. "Pardon?" Hmmm? Good!" Then she stomped onto the train.

After boarding the train with Kiwi, her cat, and Nikanj, her owl, she led the way to their compartment.

Jaguar, Lily, and Sirius went outside once again to say their final goodbyes to Danika, Katrine, and Nivea.

The tall woman was still talking to Nivea, but broke off when she saw Jaguar. "Ooh!" She squealed. "Don't you look just _darling_, Jaggie?"

"It's Jaguar," said Jaguar coldly. "And I suppose that I must."

"You just _have _to see my new mansion. It's absotively gorgeous! And you and Paris have so much fun together!"

Jaguar snorted, hardly bothering a fake cough to cover it up.

Nivea and Sirius smiled, as Lily looked on, more than a bit confused.

"Give us a huggy!" the woman exclaimed, opening her arms wide.

Jaguar sidestepped away from her, pretending not to hear. "Hello, Jas," she called to Jasmine Asriel, who was boarding the train with some of her siblings. The blonde smiled and waved.

"Oh look," Nivea said tonelessly. "Jezebel, the train is leaving soon. You should say farewell to Paris."

"I should! My goodness! Where does the time go? Well, Nivy, I'll see you soon. Drop by for tea or something! Au revoir!"

"Fake French speaking whore," Nivea said loudly as the woman hurried away, her heels clattering on the ground.

Lily looked slightly horrified.

Jaguar and Katrine, who was covered with marks of dark red lipstick relaxed visibly.

Nivea grabbed Sirius suddenly and ruffled his hair. "Oh Sirius, you're so funny. How will I survive the whole year without your jokes?"

It didn't matter that Nivea hardly spent time with the children. They had always adored her, and liked her even better after spending the summer at her house.

She turned to Lily after kissing Sirius sloppily on the cheek and telling him that he would be a heartbreaker one day. "You're coming home for Christmas, I hope you know. You're welcome to invite a friend or two if you want." She sighed. "You're leaving so soon. It feels like I barely found you and now I'm losing you."

"You're not losing me, Nivea," said Lily, a bit confused.

Nivea shook her head sadly as though it was something Lily was unable to comprehend.

"And Jaggie, remember about your training. I want all of you to try out for the Quidditch teams of whatever houses you're placed in. I shall put my word in with Professor Dumbledore. I love you." She embraced her niece tightly.

"I love you too, Aunt Niv," replied Jaguar.

Nivea frowned. "Where is my love, Remus? Someday he'll be very handsome, Jaguar." She winked in a crude manner. "You might want to hold on to him."

Jaguar laughed.

"Farewell, my children!" Nivea pretended to cry into a tissue dramatically.

As Sirius said goodbye to his sister and boarded the train behind Lily, Jaguar gave Katrine a hug.

"'Trine, you'll have to keep Aunt Nivea and Monica on their toes while I'm gone. I'll send you ideas for pranks, okay?" She kissed her on the cheek, and turned to Danika. "I know you'll miss me as well, but here's a picture…" It was a picture of Jaguar sticking her tongue out at the camera. "For you to remember me by."

Alone, Jaguar made her way back to the train, thinking about Paris. Perfect Paris. Paris the princess. The girl who loved being better than Jaguar and would stop at nothing to do so. All grown ups _adored _Paris. They thought of her as the perfect little girl. But around children, she was the spawn of Satan. She spoke in a horrible sugary sweet voice which only served to mask her bitterness slightly. She was a sycophant, seeming to want power and attention, but doing nothing to deserve it except whining in her high-pitched voice. In short, Paris was a pretentious little bitch. Jaguar shuddered to image living in the same building as her for the next seven years. And how horrible was it that they both had the same blood running through their veins? _What did I do to deserve a cousin like Paris?_ Jaguar wondered silently.

Inside compartment 9 of the train, Jaguar found Lily, Remus, James, and Sirius. She took a seat between Sirius and Remus, scowling.

"That Paris girl doesn't seem so bad," said Lily.

Jaguar's eyes flared dangerously. "Well, you just had to bring her up, huh, Lily? You don't know her! She is a snobby little whore."

James laughed, lowering a Quidditch magazine he was reading. "She must be really bad.

"Slytherin material?" asked Remus, raising his eyebrows.

Jaguar pushed her hair behind her ears with both hands at once. "Yeah," she replied softly. "And the worst part is, if she really wanted to be in Gryffindor she would be. She can charm the asphalt off a road."

"She's part veela," Sirius added, having not spoken before.

When Lily asked what a veela was, the topic of discussion turned to all sorts of magical creatures, and the first hour of the train ride passed quickly, with James telling Lily everything she had never cared to know about broomsticks, and the other 3 children playing hangman.

At around 10 o'clock, there was a knock on the door. Jaguar jumped, then relaxed as she realized that it was only the lady who ran the Hogwarts Express food cart, wearing an apron that read, "We'll get you there faster than walking will, guaranteed," which Lily had a good giggle over.

Jaguar bought a few packs of Sherbet Balls, some Pumpkin Pasties, and some juice. Lily bought Citrus Sours and Chocolate Frogs. The boys bought a ton of everything—especially Bertie Bot's Every Flavour Beans. Jag found those to be frightening and unexpected, and Lily soon became tired of them, as Sirius and James directed her to eat the repulsive ones ("No, it's bubblegum flavour, _I swear_. Oh… It was cow dung? I'm sorry… It looked like bubblegum!")

Floating a few inches above her seat, Jaguar listened to her friends argue over which jellybean flavour was best and which was worst. She wondered what they would be talking about if she had died over the summer. It was a scary thought, and she quickly changed to thinking about Hogwarts. She had never even seen the school outside of pictures. She had no idea of what to expect. She knew Lily thought she was at a disadvantage, having been raised by muggles, but the truth was, even as immersed in magical society as Jaguar was, she had no idea what to expect.

Interrupting her thoughts, Jaguar heard a soft tapping at the door. Before opening her eyes, she knew it was Paris. Her stomach clenched and she felt sick. There was something wrong with her cousin. It was as if she had no soul. Jaguar had never even told Sirius that she thought things like that. But Paris was empty on the inside.

Lily opened the door to reveal that Paris was not alone. She was standing next to a girl named Jaessika Ice, and another girl Jaguar didn't recognize.

"Hi, Paris," said Jaguar, still floating.

"Eating Sherbet Balls, I see," Paris giggled. "Do you _know_ how many calories they have?" She continued giggling for a very long time. So long in fact, that it became slightly manic and uncomfortable for everyone in the compartment. "You've met Jaessika, I understand? Good." She seemed to have a habit of answering questions for people, without even pausing. "You simply _must_ meet Narcissa Farling."

"You're Jaguar, right?" Narcissa asked, smiling slightly, her brown eyes studying Jaguar and her friends. She stepped forward, slightly in front of Jaessika and Paris. "Paris seems to think quite… fondly of you," she said, rolling her eyes and making a face.

Sirius broke the silence that ensued. "So, Ice. You'd better get back to your own compartment before you melt."

No one came close to laughing. Jaessika looked at him in disbelief. "As though it's somehow colder in another compartment? Oh, Sirius Black, I'm so hurt by your attempt at insulting me. Because, you know, what you think matters _so _much!"

Narcissa looked back and forth between the two. "Jaessika, we are just standing here—"

Paris interrupted rudely. "Jaessika may stand wherever she deems fit!" She glared around at each of them as though she wanted to impose her opinion.

"And we'll all listen, because we care so much, right?" Jaguar asked. "I mean, since your opinion matters so much. Hell, even your mother does whatever you say, _right,_ Paris?"

Paris' pretty face scrunched into a sneer, which covered the look that was beneath it. It was something unidentifiable, like she was trying to hold herself together, but wasn't really upset. "I thoughted better of you, Jaggie."

"Too bad I can't say the same for you, Pair. And my name is _Jaguar_. I understand it's troubling for those of little brain mass…"

Paris opened her mouth to reply, when Jaessika, to everyone's surprise, laughed. "You thoughted, Paris? What are you, two?"

"Maybe you should stop hanging out with these _losers_," Paris spat, scowling hideously. "They seem to have turned you into a BIG FAT MEANIE!" With that, she flounced out of the room.

Jaessika Ice stared after her, then looked at Jaguar. "I think you may have gotten her to shut up, Brazil. Brava for you." Her voice still held its normal sneer, but she was simply a born Slytherin. Not cruel or mean-hearted. Then she left, leaving Narcissa standing in the doorway.

"Um… Sorry about that, guys," she mumbled, leaving the room before they could invite her to sit with them.

"At least Narcissa seems nice," said Lily.

"That's what you thought about Paris," said Jaguar darkly. "She's your cousin, too, you know. So ha!"

"Did you see Jaessika's face?" James asked.

"'Thoughted!'" Remus said, bursting into peals of laughter.

As the other three made fun of the girls that had just left, Sirius leaned toward Jag and gave her a thumbs up sign, whispering, "Way to go, Jaggie!"

She grinned at him. In a way, she had always been scared of Paris, and what her cousin would tell adults about her if she made her angry. Paris was brilliant at lying, and nearly always got away with it. But they were older now. Practically teenagers! And there was no way that Jaguar would ever let her cousin push her around again.

"We have got to pull some pranks on her," Jaguar sighed. Of course, her friends agreed.

The rest of the ride passed smoothly, and it seemed like only minutes passed before they had donned their school robes and were exiting the train.


	11. Godric's Goosepimples

**Jaguar Brazil**

**Godric's Goosepimples **

Jaguar, a bit bewildered by all the noise and confusion (for though she was not a quiet person, she had mostly lived in relative isolation of the sort people who could buy whole islands to live on, in order to keep secret a particular lifestyle live in), stepped off the Hogwarts Express, and into the town of Hogsmeade. Turning around, she reached for Sirius' hand, not caring if it was childish. Struggling through the bustling crowd of students, they made their way to the outskirts of the mob, and looked around.

"_Where do we go?"_ Jaguar asked, yelling to be heard over the noise. Sirius gazed around, and shook his head. Of course he would have no more clue than she did. Remus, Lily, and James seemed to have disappeared, as Jaguar could no longer make them out in the crowd.

In the twilight, Jaguar saw a giant of a man standing on a rock, using his hands as a megaphone to broadcast something. It was quite surreal, the whole scene. She felt a sudden rush of excitement that left her feeling as though she were about to wet her pants. To distract herself from this feeling, she pointed him out to Sirius. "Maybe he knows," she suggested.

The older students seemed to be vanishing away into the gathering darkness. Jaguar thought she glimpsed Ari Black with a big group of girls, but she wasn't certain, and whoever the girl was didn't turn around.

As the station became more and more empty, Jaguar realized that the only people left were around her age, and looked just as nervous and spellbound as she did. Anxiously, she hurried forward, the way the rest of them did, drawn toward the giant man, who was now grinning and not yelling anything.

He stepped off his rock as the last of the children approached, and addressed them all, "Orite, 'ello there, all of ye! If yer here, I'll trust yer a firs' year. Ye'll be followin' me. Me name's Hagrid, by the by."

The group of children bustled slightly as they took a moment to look around at each other. A lot of them seemed very shy, and weren't talking to anyone. Jaguar, who had let go of Sirius' hand, looked for someone she knew. Her eyes fell upon Lily, who was talking to Jasmine Asriel and another blonde girl who was gesticulating wildly.

After a moment, the group began to move down a long path lit with lanterns, down a slight slope, to a very large lake. As they rounded the last bend, nearly all of the children gasped in wonder and paused in their step to gaze at the magnificent castle. Jaguar, having been to the neighboring town a few times before, was not so amazed, although even she had to stare at how beautiful the school was. In fact, how could you name something so majestic a _school?_ It didn't seem to fit.

Lily squeaked in stark amazement. "Oh my! It's a castle! How marvelous!"

"We'll be sailin' 'cross in these!" Hagrid now yelled, gesturing toward a cluster of very rickety looking rowboats which seemed to be missing oars. "No more 'an four to a boat, mind ye."

Jaguar and Sirius, seeing their friends in boats that were already filled, found their own, and were joined a moment later by two girls, right as the boats began to move.

One of the girls was as short as Jaguar, and looked very thin. Wrapped in a large anorak, she still looked as though she were freezing cold. She looked to be at least part Asian, and had slightly slanted eyes on her pale face. Her name, she said, was Ki-Lin Morrison. The other girl was taller, but even thinner, with striking dark blue eyes and pale blonde hair.

"My name is Ambika Dawes," she offered. The hand that she extended to Jaguar was very warm. She seemed to exude friendliness.

"I'm Jaguar Brazil, and this is Sirius Black," said Jaguar, as Sirius was busy examining the water frantically for sharks, of which he was deathly afraid, although he would never admit it. "Where are you from?" Jaguar queried, having noticed that Ambika had a strong accent, and that Ki-Lin seemed to have none at all.

"I am from France," Ambika said. "This is my first time in Scotland. My family just purchased a home in Liverpool. I wanted to badly to attend Beauxbatons. Alas, Hogwarts is said to be a better school, therefore I cannot." She looked downcast for a moment, then inclined her head to Ki-Lin.

"I am from Berlin—or I was born there. But I lived in Egypt until I was 6, then America until I was 9, and now I live in Spain. Would have been easier to go to school there, but both of my birth parents went to Hogwarts, and since I never knew them, I thought it would be a good way—" she cut herself off suddenly. "It's so pretty!"

The subject changed to school houses. Both Sirius and Jaguar adamantly wanted to be Gryffindors, while the two girls didn't care too much, but were both leaning toward Ravenclaw.

_As long as they don't want to be Slytherins_, Jaguar thought.

Upon arriving at the shore, the students were herded down a long, apparently underground passageway, filled with mud (all of the Paris-type girls shrieked), and worms (Jaguar shrieked, being terrified of them), until they came up into a dimly lit antechamber, and wiped their feet on a large welcome mat.

Hagrid, who had been walking before them swinging a lantern now turned and exited the room, leaving them with a tall woman.

"Hello, first years," the woman said. She regarded them sternly over the top of her glasses. Her nose was long and very stereotypically "witchy", and her hair was tied tightly into a bun at the back of her head. "I am Professor McGonagall. Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where you will spend the next 7 years. Stay here, and make yourselves presentable." With that the woman left.

The children stood around, shifting in almost complete silence, excluding Paris, who was screeching about something or other. Presently, the professor returned and led them all into the Great Hall, for the Sorting Ceremony.

In front of the crowd of students, Jaguar felt a certain calmness overtake her. She stood between Lily and a boy she didn't know, looking out at the sea of faces. And she waited, nearly breathless.

The woman who had introduced herself as Professor McGonagall had led the new first years through the Great Hall, to the front of the room, where she instructed them to stand in front of the table filled with teachers.

Now, Jaguar stood, almost trembling with nerves, while Lily clasped her hands together beside her, looking as though she might faint. And now, everyone was staring at an old raggedy hat placed upon a stool. Suddenly, to the amazement of the first years, a rip in the hat's brim opened up, and the hat began to sing:

**Long ago, when Hogwarts School was newly found**

**Four great humans, courage and honor bond**

**Knew the world had lived long enough in strife**

**And worked to improve qualities of life**

**For every wizard born, and every witch too**

**Putting their heads together**

**They knew just what they had to do**

**Each child born of wizard blood would surely have a place**

**Whether with Rowena Ravenclaw**

**The beauteous and fair**

**There they would have books**

**More than they could ever share**

**Or perchance with Helga Hufflepuff**

**Hard-working and kind-hearted**

**In her house, with their friends**

**They would always have enough**

**Or in the house of Salador Slytherin**

**In the highest tower of all**

**He built it up just to ensure**

**His pupils would never fall**

**Or in the great house of Gryffindor**

**Which Godric claimed his own**

**The courageous and chivalrous**

**Would find this house their home**

**So put me on, I will decide**

**Where you need to be**

**I know your mind**

**I see your heart**

**There is no smarter hat than me!**

The Great Hall burst into applause, and the hat bowed to all four tables, and then to the first years.

"Oh!" Jaguar heard Narcissa Farling whisper. "That's all we have to do!"

She also heard Paris reply with scorn, "Yes, Narcee, but we have to put it on our _heads_."

Jaguar bit her tongue to keep from retorting, _Well, where else would you put a hat? _

Professor McGonagall now stepped forward, holding a long scroll, and addressed the new students.

"As I call your names, step forward to put on the hat, and sit on the stool."

Lily gasped suddenly, and stumbled a bit. Jaguar looked at her worriedly. "Are you alright?" Lily nodded silently.

"Silence, please," Professor McGonagall said, looking sternly at Jag. Then:

"Agamore, Keven," she called.

The boy who was unlucky enough to be called first stepped forward nervously, and put the Sorting Hat on his head.

A few seconds later, it yelled, "RAVENCLAW!"

The table second from the left applauded loudly, and everyone else clapped politely.

Lily, seeing that it didn't look too hard, let out a breath she hadn't been aware of holding.

She looked down the line at Sirius, then at Jaguar, and knew that they would be placed in Gryffindor. Both of their parents had been in that house. So maybe even Remus and James would be as well. Of course, Lily's mother had also been in Gryffindor. But she had never been around that influence… But she didn't think she would fit with the Slytherins, or the Hufflepuffs… Maybe Ravenclaw.

She didn't really notice, lost in her thoughts as she was, when "Anderson, Michelle" was sorted into Hufflepuff.

Lily did look up, however, when she heard, "Asriel, Jasmine!" She watched the tall blonde girl who was the daughter of the Assistant Minister of Magic, and James' cousin step out of the line.

"Yeah, Jas!" James yelled. Half the first years in line jumped at the sudden noise.

Jasmine looked back, and flashed him a grin. She looked completely composed, and not nervous at all.

In fact, despite what appearances might suggest, Jas was more nervous than she had ever been in her life. Of course, the family of a politician had to learn a certain amount of composure, if only to keep out of the tabloids. Her hands shook slightly as she set the hat atop her head.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat yelled, hardly touching her head.

Jasmine smiled and handed the hat off to "Bell, Jakarta", before heading off to the Gryffindor table.

Lily thought, _My last name is Evans… E. It's at the beginning of the alphabet. Oh no. _

For a moment, Lily thought she was going to be sick. She stumbled again and grabbed Jaguar's arm for support.

Jaguar laughed uncertainly. "Don't have a heart attack, Lils. You'll probably be in—"

At that moment, the Slytherin table erupted in cheers to welcome their new addition, a girl named Talica Belvedere.

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but, "Black, Sirius!" McGonagall called out.

Jaguar tensed. Her eyes seemed to be glued to Sirius as Ari Black and her friend Annabelle Potter stood up to cheer. "You put him in Gryffindor!" Ari yelled, and the Gryffindor table applauded.

Jaguar clenched Lily's arm suddenly. "Good luck, Siri," she whispered.

James was practically hopping up and down in excitement until someone told him to knock it off. Too bad. It had rather looked as though he badly needed to use the bathroom to Lily.

Sirius put the hat on his head. It slipped over his eyes, and he could feel the brim of it somewhere near his mouth.

"Well now," the hat's eerie voice spoke inside of Sirius' head. Sirius found the feeling to be exceedingly disconcerting. Like an itch he couldn't scratch. It bothered him. "Another Black, hmm… Another troublemaker…"

Sirius thought, _If you don't put Jaguar Brazil and I in the same house, she'll go insane, you know_. It was a bit desperate, since he had no idea whether or not the hat could hear his thoughts.

"Brazil, eh?" the hat laughed. "You certainly are brave. But you are also very cunning, and intelligent… And _very _loyal. I could put you in any of the houses… Perhaps Slytherin… No, better be—

"GRYFFINDOR!" The last word was projected to the rest of the hall, and Sirius shot up, and ran over to the Gryffindor table, where everyone cheered him, knowing that he was the Minister's son.

After Sirius was sorted, Ruthie Bloom became a Ravenclaw. And then it was Jaguar's turn.

_I've been waiting for this my entire life_, Jaguar thought, a bit dazed.

It seemed as though most of the people in the hall knew of her. She received a fair amount of applause, which only served to make her feel more pressured.

She lifted the hat and lowered it onto her head, as Paris called out, "Hooray, Jaggie!"

_Listen, Hat, _thought Jaguar immediately, _if you can hear what I think, know this. You had better put me in Gryffindor, or I will rip that brim of your right off!_

The hat, to her surprise, laughed. "I've had worse threats than that, girl. Your friend Sirius told me you would want to be in the same house as he…"

_Did he..? _

"More or less… Another Cortez to add to the Hogwarts family. Bunch of pranksters… Though not as awful as some."

_I'm not a Cortez though… I'm Jaguar BRAZIL._

She felt the sorting hat dig into her mind, then stop abruptly. It was silent for several seconds, as the Great Hall waited to see what house she would be put in.

"Do you mean to tell me that you are not of the great Cortez lineage?"

_I am… But I am also of the Brazil clan… Jaguar BRAZIL, you know…_

"Well, students of the Cortez family have always been in Gryffindor. Why break tradition?"

And so the hat called out, "GRYFFINDOR!" and Jaguar rushed to join her new house.

Soon, the name of one of the girls who had been in the boat with Jaguar and Sirius was called, and Ambika Dawes was sorted into Ravenclaw.

A boy was sorted into Slytherin, and then it was Lily's turn.

Jaguar and Sirius clapped loudly for her, but Lily appeared frozen for several seconds. Finally, Remus, standing a few people down from her, moved to push her forward. She stumbled then to the stool and put the hat on her head.

When she was sorted into Gryffindor a few moments later, she pulled off the hat, looking quite shocked, and joined Jaguar and Sirius.

The hat hardly touched Narcissa Farling's head before it placed her in Slytherin.

The girl looked very surprised, looking over at the Gryffindor table a bit longingly, before sighing and walking to the table belonging to her house.

There were still more than half of the first years to be sorted, and the older students had begun to shift around a bit.

"I dunno why we can't eat as they do this…" Annabelle sighed, rubbing her stomach. "I haven't eaten since breakfast!" Several other students agreed with her.

"Oh, don't worry, Anna!" Ari said, slightly louder than would have been necessary. "You could afford to skip a few meals."

Annabelle looked horrified, and turned away from Ari.

Jaguar and Jasmine Asriel began to talk about how hungry they were, and how good the food was supposed to be at Hogwarts, while Sirius talked to no one in particular about how good he was at Quidditch.

The hat didn't even have to touch Jaessika Ice's head before placing her in Slytherin. Well, no surprise there. The girl practically pranced to her table.

Guinevere Knight was sorted into Ravenclaw, right before Remus Lupin and Amaryllis McGee became the newest members of Gryffindor House.

Amaryllis McGee looked horrified as she removed the hat and practically flung it to the girl behind her, who also joined them at the Gryffindor table.

Soon enough, Paris Morgan was sorted, and what most people thought would be an easy decision ended up taking nearly ten minutes.

Paris was eventually sorted into Slytherin, although she looked close to tears.

Ki-Lin Morrison became a Ravenclaw, and then Peter Pettigrew approached the Gryffindor table shyly. He tripped and nearly sat on Ari, who did not take kindly to that. "Watch it, you!"

Peter didn't look like a Gryffindor. Under a crown of dirty blonde hair, his shifty brown eyes stared around him. His face was covered in acne, and he was overweight.

A black girl, Athene Plains was sorted into Ravenclaw, before James became a Gryffindor, to no one's surprise at all.

Annabelle whistled loudly with her fingers in her mouth.

Several more students were sorted, before the last one, a girl named Zulieka-Anwen-Theone Zen became a Slytherin.

The feast was set to begin, and the first years began to look around hungrily.

"Ack," said Ari. "Don't eat us!" Several people giggled.

First, before they could be fed, a tall wizard with long white hair and half moon spectacles, wearing long silver robes, stood up, and addressed the room. Although he spoke quietly, the whole hall quieted to hear what he said.

"Welcome," he said, "to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. For those of you who don't know, I am the headmaster, Professor Albus Dumbledore. First years are now seated with the house they will live with for the next seven years. Of course, if anyone has any complaints about their placement, I will be happy to receive them on parchment which I will then toss into my fireplace. So do become acquainted with those around you! Now, I'm hungry. What say we eat?"

Professor Dumbledore clapped his wrinkled hands together, and food appeared on all of the tables.

Jaguar almost threw herself across the table, scooping food right off of other people's plates.

"Hey!" the girl on the right of Jaguar exclaimed , when a chicken leg was ripped right out of her hand.

Jaguar looked up, startled. "Uj! Lmb—uh—" She swallowed, choked, and reached around for water, which just happened to be in Remus' glass. He, however, was accustomed to such behavior from his friend. "Sorry," Jag finally said. "Here." She offered the meat back to the girl.

"Um…" the girl said. She shook her head. "No, that's okay…"

Realizing that people she didn't know were staring at her, Jaguar set her fork down carefully and looked at the brunette girl seated next to her. She looked very familiar.

"Who're you?" asked Jaguar.

"You've got food on your face," the girl pointed out. "My name's Aaliyah Fairman. We've met, don't you remember?"

"You're Annabelle and Ari's friend," said Jaguar.

The third year girl smiled. "You're James' friend."

A few minutes later, when they had gone back to eating, Aaliyah said, "When I saw you at Anna's house, you and James talked about Quidditch. Like, incessantly." She laughed, and her nose crinkled slightly. "D'you think he'd want to try out for the house team this year?"

Jaguar dropped her fork. "I thought first years couldn't—"

Aaliyah made a face and chopped her hand through the air. "That is McGonagall's rule. The captain can do whatever she wants if it's good for the team. And the rule is quite circumstantial anyhow. First years are just always second string."

Jaguar grinned. "Well then, I will try out, Captain!"

The tall girl pushed a stray hair out of her face and giggled. "You don't—ooh! Dessert! You don't—Jaguar!" The first year had gone back to focusing on her food. "Jaguar!"

"Huh?"

"I was saying that you don't look like a Quidditch player. You're smaller and skinnier than most seekers. But you do look strong and quick. Your hair might get in the way; it's quite long… But that's easily fixed…"

Remus glanced at Jaguar, who was smiling uncertainly at the Quidditch captain. He thought Aaliyah's compliments were a bit ambiguous in intent and meaning.

After finishing her examination of Jaguar, Aaliyah asked, "What position do you play?"

Jaguar glanced at Remus, who played the same position as she did (except when she wouldn't allow him to). "Seeker," she replied, turning back to the brunette.

"Well then, I suppose it's good you're small. And we've no seeker at all this year. He graduated." Aaliyah frowned and looked sad for a long moment.

Just then, Dumbledore stood up from his seat, which looked rather like a throne and was higher backed than the chairs belonging to any other professors.

"I trust that you are all well fed and watered," he began. Several of the older students cheered at this. "So if you can still move, I would like to ask that the prefects now lead the second year and higher students to your dormitories."

Soon, only some of the teachers and all of the first year students were left.

"Now, we'll leave you first years here to socialize with each other…"

Lily moved to the chair next to Jaguar's. "Can you believe this?" she asked. "We're going to learn _magic_! I mean, I can hardly believe it… I keep expecting to wake up any moment."

Well, it wasn't a nightmare, so Jaguar wasn't worried much about that… She rarely had regular dreams.

"Oh, yes!" a saccharin voice behind Jaguar jumped in. "It's wonderful!"

_Maybe it is a nightmare…_

Jaguar turned her head slowly. _Go away, go away. _

Paris was smiling again, and looked sincere.

"Hi, Paris," said Jaguar glumly. _Way to rain on the parade. _"And how are you?"

"I'm fine," Paris sighed. "I just wanted to see my favorite cousins. I mean, can you believe you're in _Gryffindor?_ I mean, maybe you, Lilian. My mother says you were raised by a muggle. But still, I mean, you're of Morgan blood!"

Jaguar smiled sweetly. It hurt her jaw. "You are a Morgan. We, however, are from the Cortez family. And all Cortez are Gryffindors."

Paris snapped her fingers. "Jaggie, I know for a fact that that is not a fact." The raven-haired girl nodded her head toward Lily. "I was looking for you. I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind if you stayed with us too when Jaguar visits this summer." She raised her eyebrows.

Lily could see Sirius shaking his head rapidly out of the corner of her eye. "I'll think about it, Paris."

Paris Morgan glared at Sirius suspiciously, then said, still glaring, "You don't know me yet. This year will give up plenty of time to get to know each other." She turned and flounced away.

Jaguar shook her head. "Ugh." She turned to speak to a girl down the table.

James raised an eyebrow at Sirius. "What was that?"

Sirius raked his fingers through his dark hair. "I hope she and Jag don't kill each other," he remarked. "Paris just wants attention. She goes about it the wrong way entirely. And Jaguar can't stand any Morgan."

"Neither can I," James replied darkly.

The Morgans were one of the oldest wizarding families. They were said to have descended from the extinct Slytherin family. They were not quite as old as the Black family, or the Cortez family, or the Malfoys, but were older the Potters by far. Morgan had spread and were now all over the world. Jaguar's grandmother had been a Morgan. They were all muggle-haters, but Rose Morgan was different. She was a Revealer, and heir to one of her cousins, who was in the Ice family.

Unfortunately for the Morgans, Rose had married Briant Cortez. And so one of the most pure-blooded dark families was sullied. To make it worse, Rose had handed down her craft to her youngest daughter, Nivea Cortez, rather than anyone on the Morgan side of the family, or even her daughter Iris, who would have been much easier to persuade to the dark side.

Jaguar wasn't quite sure what a Revealer was or did, but she knew that it was a fairly important job to have.

After 20 minutes or so, Professor Dumbledore returned with eight fifth year students, who wore bright badges on their chests, and looked extremely satisfied with themselves.

"In each year," said Professor Dumbledore,"5th and up, there are eight prefects. One male and one female from each house. They are the students you should go to with any problems. Now, they will lead you to your home for the next seven years."

_Gryffindor's password is Godric's Goosepimples, _thought Jaguar as she drifted to sleep on her extremely comfortable bed, with golden drapes drawn around it. _No one will be able to guess that one…_


	12. The Best Show on Earth

**A/N: **_I guess it's pointless to ask for reviews. I suspect that I am never going to get them. _

**Jaguar Brazil **

**The Best Show on Earth  
**

There were times when Ari Black believed that she just might be the luckiest girl on earth. The first day of her third year in attendance at Hogwarts was definitely one of those days.

She awoke smiling, happy to begin a new day. Happy to be alive and well. Hell, she was happy to be Ari Black. Languidly, she arched her back, stretching, then yawned loudly, before hopping out of bed. Humming to herself, she gathered her toiletry items, and entered the bathroom.

Grinning at her reflection in the mirror, Ari said aloud, "I look good even when I've just woken up." and awarded herself with a lewd wink before brushing her teeth and showering.

Humming her way back into the dorm room she shared with the other Gryffindor girls from her year, Ari used a bit of magic she had picked up over the summer to dry her hair rapidly.

Hugging herself, Ari practically bristled with happiness and excitement. She felt like a ray of light. If she didn't keep holding herself together, she might segment into a million tiny pieces that would bounce off in every direction. It was an entertaining thought, and she held onto it for a moment.

Of course, Ari may have loved herself a bit too much, but she could see reality. No matter how wealthy her family was, or how influential; no matter how popular she was, or how beautiful, she would not be happy. Not truly happy… Not just from that. Although Ari could never give any of those things up at the place she was in life now. She was not particularly selfish or stingy, or even very egotistical. It was all she had ever known, and she was very used to her niche in life. Still… Even at age 13, she knew that things like that, the material things, were not what was important. At age 13, she could not identify what was truly important.

But she thought she might have a bit of an idea…

**xx**

Sirius Black woke up early that morning, an event that was very unusual for him. The whole day seemed to hold the feel of Christmas. _No presents though, _he thought sorrowfully.

Climbing out of bed, Sirius stretched his arms over his head, wondering if he ought to cut his hair. He chuckled a bit. "Jaguar wouldn't like that," he said to himself, not minding that there were other boys in the room. They were all asleep. Eh, who cared what Jaguar thought of his hair? At worst, she would be a bit disdainful, the way she always was when someone didn't take her advice. Sirius remembered when James had cut his hair unexpectedly a few years back, and Jaguar had altogether stopped talking to him for a long time. How long was it? It could have been months. Suddenly, Sirius wondered if Jaguar had acted the way she had during this summer, back then. His mouth went a bit dry, and he decided that he didn't want to think about things like that.

Sirius' thoughts were interrupted by a voice asking, "Who's Jaguar?"

Turning toward the boy in the bed across the room, next to James', Sirius' eyes widened just a bit in curiousity.

"You don't know who Jag is?"

Sirius could not recall ever being asked that question. Everyone he had ever known had seemed to know who Jaguar Brazil was. Besides the fact that her aunt was famous, Jaguar herself seemed to attract people to her like moths to light.

The tall boy looked at the chubby boy in the bed. Peter was his name, or so Sirius thought. He wasn't sure enough about it to chance calling him by it, though. He opened his mouth to explain who Jaguar was, when he heard a knock at the door.

"I hope no one's naked!" a familiar female voice called out loudly. Jaguar Brazil walked into the room, grinning mischievously.

The boy who might have been called Peter hastily moved to cover his blue teddy bear patterned pajamas with his blanket.

"This is Jaguar," said Sirius. "She's my best friend."

Jaguar stopped beside him and smiled sweetly. "Now, now," she said gamely. "Let us not make James and Remus too jealous, eh?"

"Hullo, Jaguar," Peter said quietly, not looking at her eyes.

Jag flipped her hair back, looking over at him. It only too her a moment to recall his name. "Hello to you, Peter," she greeted. "Siri!" She turned back to her friend. "I was in the shower, and I was thinking, we should go explore the grounds! We've a good hour and a half before breakfast starts, but I simply couldn't sleep."

James, in the bed across the room from Remus, and nearest to the door, sat up and grinned at the brown haired boy.

"She was thinking about Sirius in the shower," he said, winking.

Jaguar shook her head. "When I said 'we', I meant the four of us, dummy!"

Remus cracked a smile. "She was thinking about all of us in the shower."

"You guys are _so_ funny," Jaguar said, pretending to laugh. "Just hilarious, you are! Now I know why I'm friends with you. Really—" She looked at Peter. "I pity you. You'll have to live with them for the next seven years."

Not knowing what to say, Peter settled on a shrug.

Jag smiled. "They're always cracking jokes like that." She shook her head. "It's because I'm the girl. I'm so sweet and innocent. They—"

She was interrupted by a pillow hitting her on the side of the head. Whirling around, Jaguar saw Sirius making gagging faces at her.

Eyes blazing, she warned, "Run."

Sirius grabbed his bag of toilet things and walked into the bathroom adjoined to the room in which the boys slept. Over his shoulder, he threw another pillow, which Jaguar easily caught.

"You guys get up too," Jaguar ordered. "And—oh!" And afterthought seemed to have occurred to her. "Peter, would you like to come with us?"

Normally she wouldn't have asked, but she was in a good mood. Besides, she was in a new school. It was the perfect time to be making new friends. Normally, Jaguar would have expected most everyone to be as social as she was, or nearly so. If he wanted to accompany her, he would surely have asked.

Peter declined politely, and Jaguar smiled. "Maybe some other time, then?"

Remus and James filed out of the room and could be heard climbing the stairs to the top of Gryffindor Tower.

Jag walked to the door, before turning back to holler, "Siri, I'll be in the Common Room, k?" Someone in another room yelled for her to shut up, and she giggled and tiptoed away.

Sitting on a couch in front of the completely unnecessary fire in the Common Room, Jaguar glanced at her mysterious watch, which was personalized to match her personal vital signs, and could only be read by Jaguar, and presumably by Nivea, who had made it.

Jaguar was still unsure of how to think about her aunt, after all that had happened during the summer. Yes, she still loved Nivea Cortez with all of her heart. And of course, she knew that Nivea just wanted to protect her… And she was probably overreacting about everything anyway. It would be stupid to even bring things like that up with Nivea. The woman was so stressed out all the time anyhow. Besides, Jaguar would prefer to simply block the memories from her mind, and never think of them again.

It was 6:37 AM. Breakfast was set to begin at eight o'clock. Jaguar was not sure how she knew that. She supposed that someone must have told her. She just couldn't remember who exactly. The boys would not be done getting dressed until around seven o'clock.

So, because there was nothing else to do, Jag fetched some parchment and wrote some letters home.

_**Dear Monica and Katrine,**_

_**Hogwarts is prettier inside than I ever imagined. I haven't gone to any classes yet, so I don't know if they're hard. I hope not. Katrine: the Sorting Ceremony was awful. Luckily, only 12 students died. The nurse here says that most of my taste buds will grow back eventually. And being permanently colour-blind won't be too bad, I can tell already. But I made it through, so you can congratulate me. And I would do it again, because I got into Gryffindor! I just know it'll be marvelous! Oh, Sirius and James, and Remus, and Jasmine Asriel, and Lily are all in Gryffindor as well. I will write again soon. **_

_**Love, **_

_**Jag**_

**xx**

_**Dear Nivea, **_

_**So far, Hogwarts seems wonderful, although I haven't seen much of it yet. I'm in Gryffindor. I will write again when I have time. **_

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Jaguar**_

Briefly, Jaguar wondered if she had come off as a bit distant, and decided that she didn't really care. Maybe she wouldn't mail it… Nivea surely had more important things to do than read letters from her niece. Like cover up more murders.

_No. Stop thinking like that! Why so noble all of a sudden? _Jaguar wanted to put the thoughts out of her head. _It wasn't murder! I was a little girl, and I didn't know what I was doing. It was self-defense. _She shook her head to clear it, and put her quill away.

**xx**

Twenty minutes passed, and Jaguar found herself pushing open the doors of the castle, and stepping out onto the grounds for the first time. Morning sunlight was washing over the grass, and she nearly gasped at how beautiful it all looked.

She could hardly believe she was _here_.

Finally!

She laughed to herself, and danced around a bit, before throwing herself down on the grass, where her friends were now sitting.

"Can you believe we're all in the same house?" she asked incredulously. "I mean, what are the chances of that?" They weren't the only people outside early. There were two older students far off, holding hands as they strolled across the grounds.

"It's crazy," said Remus.

"Well, where else would any of us be?" asked James.

They all glanced at Sirius. It was well-known that the Black family contained more dark wizards than good. However, his mother's family had been in Gryffindor for generations.

Sirius grimaced. "Imagine me in _Slytherin_." He shuddered dramatically.

Jaguar lay on the ground with her head in Remus' lap, and his fingers in her hair. The four friends, who were so close, they were more like siblings, were all thinking about what the next seven years held in store for them, but for once, they didn't say much. Jaguar drifted off, as Remus' hands massaged her scalp, and the clouds drifted by slowly overhead.

After awhile, James shook her awake, and they walked off to breakfast.

**xx**

Ari nearly floated down to the Great Hall. She loved being at school. Sure, Pleasantville was nice and all, but she loved being around people. A few people waved at her, and she glanced in their directions. That was really all they wanted. Kids had this tendency to want to be seen with her. To create the illusion that they knew her, or somehow had something to do with her.

Ari's solipsism was interrupted as she approached the doors of the Great Hall. Her head had been so high in the clouds that she had not seen Adonis walking towards them from another direction. She stopped in her tracks. She hadn't seen or heard from him since the Ministry Ball. And no matter how much she liked him, she didn't really want to talk to him.

"Well, if it isn't Scary Black," a male voice called out.

Ari froze. Every muscle in her body seemed to tense for a long moment.

For once, Ari had no idea what to do. And then the world came crashing down on her head. She wasn't beautiful at all. It was just something she told herself so that she didn't fall into a depression. She had to tell herself that there was someone out there who needed her… Because the boy walking up to her right now didn't.

She looked at him, smiling brightly, purely, in a stunning attempt to regain confidence and composure. In a way, she looked like a fallen angel. Wounded and helpless.

And the boy who was about to gnaw into her was Adonis. _Adonis. Even his name is perfect. _

"It's Ari," said Ari, trying to force her voice out in something more than a whisper. "Jackass."

"Hairy Jackass… Suits you well." The boy grinned at her, and pushed her aside to enter the Great Hall.

"Hey!" Ari yelled, taken aback. Oh, she might have been hopelessly in love with this boy who hated her so much, but she was _not _going to be pushed around by anyone. Ever. Adonis did not turn around. Ari strode into the Great Hall behind him. "Hey!" she yelled again. "Hey, you fucking pussy!"

The entire room went completely silent.

Ari didn't care. She moved forward now, fury lighting up her features, and slapped Adonis full across the face. "Don't you _ever_ put your hands on me again, you bastard. I will kick your nuts so hard you'll cough them up, asshole. And I swear, if you ever talk to me again, I'll, _I'll_..." Ari's courage seemed to give out on her then, and she took a half step back, looking confused at her actions. She glanced around at everyone who was looking at her, then at the staff table. "I'm—I'm sorry," she gasped, before running out of the room.

Adonis turned and watched her leave.

Ari's friends seemed confused as to what they were supposed to do. They glanced around at each other… Should they go comfort her?

Then, they settled down to their meals. If Annabelle and Aaliyah weren't going after her, what business would they have going? Still, what sort of best friend doesn't even try to help..?

Sirius, at the Gryffindor table, whistled low under his breath. "Holy _shit_. I don't think I've ever seen Ari that angry."

"Really?" asked Remus. "She doesn't seem like the happiest person on the planet a lot of the time…"

"Well," said Sirius, "she's not, really. But she doesn't get genuinely mad very often. It's mostly a mood thing with Ari."

"Oh."

Jaguar looked around at the room. People were just beginning to talk again, gossiping quietly. The boy who had purportedly touched Ari was hunched over at the Ravenclaw table now. Presently, Professor McGonagall walked over to him, and they left the room.

"I wonder what happened," Jaguar said.

"Who knows?" James said, through a mouthful of toast. "Ari's a drama queen."

**xx**

After breakfast, the Gryffindor first years headed off to their first class ever at magical school. Most of them were completely terrified and nerve-wracked.

The Gryffindors would share their first year Charms and Transfiguration classes with the Ravenclaw students, Herbology with the Hufflepuffs, History of Magic and Defense Against the Dark Arts with Slytherin house, Potions along, and their entire year was to attend Astronomy lessons at midnight on Wednesdays.

Their first ever lesson at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was Charms, which, in Remus Lupin's opinion, was a bit of a letdown.

The professor, a little man who could hardly see over his desk, spent several minutes talking to Jaguar about her aunt, Nivea Cortez. Jaguar, usually hard to frazzle, began to get irritable, and he eventually began to explain what correlation the objects inside a person's wand, as well as the type of wood used to make it, and it's length, had with a wizard's strengths and weaknesses.

Supposedly Remus was naturally more adept at Defense magic, and would probably not do as well with Healing.

As he jotted down notes, he glanced over at Jaguar, who had been seated across the room from him. She looked upset and troubled. She looked up for a moment and locked eyes with him.

Suddenly, Jasmine Asriel tapped him on the shoulder, and announced proudly, "I'm supposed to be good with Healing, Potions, and Animal Magic." The blonde smiled confidently. "No surprise there." She chuckled, looking at him strangely. "Are you alright? You look a bit… pale."

Remus was sure he didn't look pale at all. He just didn't like the way Jasmine had been looking at him. "I'm fine," he said snappishly.

"Well, _excuse _me for trying to be nice," the girl whispered in a huff, before turning her back on him to whisper to the girl on her other side.

When Remus turned back to Jaguar, she was staring at him. He didn't like the look she was giving him.

He felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden, and looked down at his parchment until the lesson ended a few minutes later.

Herbology, for Remus, was equally as dull as Charms had been. He really had no interest in plants. Professor Bennet was a very young woman. She looked to be about 20 or so, and had a strong French accent. The only exciting part of the lesson was when she lapsed into French for a full five minutes while explaining which plants in Greenhouse One were dangerous to humans.

"Alors," she finished. "Ne touchez pas." She fell back into speaking English with no note of ever having spoken French. "Unless, of course, you are wearing the gloves." She took that moment to show them where the gloves were stored.

After Herbology, the first years returned to the castle for lunch.

Jaguar, Sirius, Remus, and James sat together at one end of the table. Lily had gone off with the other Gryffindor girls. No one even noticed when she waved hello at them.

Slightly annoyed, Lily sat down next to Mendoza Miller, and quiet, thoughtful looking girl with curly brown hair and light freckles. At first, she had stricken Lily as shy, but Lily had realized that it was more that she saved her words.

Mendy planned on moving to Rome after her schooling to become a nun. A _singing_ nun. Only problem was that she couldn't actually sing.

When Lily mentioned that Jaguar Brazil was an excellent singer, Mendy said, "Strange how you all know each other."

"Well," said Lily. "Jaguar is my cousin. So is Paris Morgan. Um… She's distantly related to Severus Snape, and they're both in Slytherin House. Sirius Black is Jaguar's neighbor…" Lily trailed off. Mendy seemed to have stopped listening.

**xx**

Ari Black had only been pacing the corridors for a few minutes when she heard Professor McGonagall's voice coming from an empty classroom nearby.

"Of course, no one thinks that you would actually hurt Ari Black. You are a fine young man. You do understand, however. We must make sure of these things."

Ari heard Adonis mumble something back, before she burst into the room.

"I am so sorry," she said in a rush. "I was just so upset, and I overreacted. And, and I really didn't mean to make such a spectacle."

Adonis opened his mouth, then shut it. His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. "Trying to save yourself now, huh, Ari?"

"What! No, Adonis, I really am sorry!"

Professor McGonagall said, "I didn't really believe that Adonis had hit you—"

"Oh, he didn't. It was barely a poke!"

"—But I am required to look into things like this. However, if no harm has been done, I see no point in keeping you two any longer. Class will begin soon."

Ari stood up, and hurried out of the room, trying not to cry. Where was her dignity?

"Wait," Adonis said softly, following her into the corridor. Stunned, Ari stopped, and looked at the boy. He studied her face. "Have you been _crying_? Look, I'm sorry about pushing you… And maybe you overreacted, but I was being an arse."

Ari nodded slowly. "No hard feelings?"

Adonis grinned. "Nope. Friends?"

Her mouth dropped open for a moment, before she was able to regain her composure. "Um, yeah. Friends." She smiled.

He extended his hand out to her, and she shook it, feeling very official and grown up. They looked at each other solemnly.

"I had better go," she said finally, although there was really nothing she would rather do than stand in this hallway with Adonis. "I need to get my schedule." She gave him a tentative smile, and turned to go. He walked with her. How silly of her. She ought to have realized that he was headed the same way that she was.

There were times when Ari Black believed that she just might be the luckiest girl on earth. The first day of her third year in attendance at Hogwarts was definitely one of those days.


End file.
